Why is he so sensitive about religion? (man, younger, college)
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He may resonate with the ancestral and cultural aspects of being Jewish (understandably) and not the religious aspects.
This I understand. I am Middle-Eastern, but that's about it. I don't really resonate with my heritage. It doesn't change the fact that when I asked me about it, I replied and didn't get upset or defensive.
Is it this ludicrous to want to get to know him better by asking about his cultural heritage?
He may resonate with the ancestral and cultural aspects of being Jewish (understandably) and not the religious aspects.
This is quite common. I don't think that's the focus of the OP's issue, though. If I understood correctly, HE's the one who's turning it into a religion issue, and is being evasive on that basis. She's merely inquiring about his ancestry and culture, mainly, but he's taking it the wrong way, and shuts down.
This I understand. I am Middle-Eastern, but that's about it. I don't really resonate with my heritage. It doesn't change the fact that when I asked me about it, I replied and didn't get upset or defensive.
Is it this ludicrous to want to get to know him better by asking about his cultural heritage?
So anyway.
You've told us so many, many negatives. What is it you like about this guy? IOW, what is it that stops you from simply cutting this off and looking for someone better suited to you? What's worth this degree of power struggle over one specific issue (from both your sides)?
This is quite common. I don't think that's the focus of the OP's issue, though. If I understood correctly, HE's the one who's turning it into a religion issue, and is being evasive on that basis. She's merely inquiring about his ancestry and culture, mainly, but he's taking it the wrong way, and shuts down.
That's exactly it!
His religious practices or lack thereof do not affect my opinion of him. He claims we have similar views (though I would never claim to be an 'atheist' since I have no proof of anything), so why is he making such an issue of my questions pertaining to his ancestry? After all, religion should be the issue, not his ancestry.
I cannot possibly foresee a solid relationship with someone who cannot even open up about his ancestry. It makes me wonder about the things he could be hiding somewhere down the line. I have to look at the bigger picture here. If he can't communicate on such matter, there are many things he could be concealing. It gives me the feeling that I cannot fully trust him which therefore triggers my walls to come up. I cannot be myself around someone who is clearly not able to fully embrace himself around me.
I'm seeing the following reasons here:
1. Given my background, he does not want to tell me about his out of fear this will turn me off completely
2. He does not see any long-term potential, so he is not opening up
3. He is in denial about his own ancestry/heritage (which is odd because otherwise, he wouldn't be so obvious about it on Facebook or with his friends who gave him a Jewish nickname)
When I asked him about why he always brings up my background, he said: 'Because I know you don't really have strong ties with your background, so I like to tease you about it'.
This is strange.
Last edited by LostinPhilly; 12-14-2016 at 03:08 PM..
His religious practices or lack thereof do not affect my opinion of him. He claims we have similar views (though I would never claim to be an 'atheist' since I have no proof of anything), so why is he making such an issue of my questions pertaining to his ancestry? After all, religion should be the issue, not his ancestry.
The only thing I can think of is that even if he's a secular Jew, he might have grown up or associated with people who were very pro-Israel. With you being from Muslim background, it might have brought up controversial stereotypes within him, like he thinks you're going to get into your own Palestinian/Israeli conflict.
Well, since the cornerstone of all lasting relationships is mutual respect, then people have to be mature enough to listen to a different viewpoint without trashing it.
Taking the OP on face value the guy is weird. Got to lot of baggage and negative energy tied to that subject.
People make things so much harder than they should be, a normal well balance response would be a simple I prefer to not get into discussion about this subject, but whatever, part of the human condition is a complete lack of logic at times.
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