Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-14-2016, 05:39 PM
 
Location: Toronto
6,750 posts, read 5,689,089 times
Reputation: 4619

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
LOL, my grandma packed up two babies and moved to a different region of the country in 1953 when a cheating husband flaunted his affair. She was only 20 years old and uneducated, and started over again in a new state from scratch. She waited tables to support my mom and my uncle. Eventually, she married a man who adopted her kids (bio father signed over rights) and had another daughter with him. They were married for over 50 years, until his death. He knew messing around = game over.

Sorry, MGTOW boys. Not all women of the 50s were spineless pearl-and-sweater-set-wearing Betty Drapers who turned a blind eye because they felt helpless at the idea of walking out.
Your Grandma is the type of I admire. She got in a bad situation that would crush many people ... but she got back on her feet again ! Thanks for sharing that. Bad things happen... but when bad things happen and people are able to get their lives back on track again ... that is something inspirational !
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-14-2016, 05:47 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,593 posts, read 37,368,088 times
Reputation: 29336
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rome2300 View Post
They make documentaries about people, all who had known mistresses in the 50s
And you believe that typified marriage in the 50s? Interesting! Might have to do with the fact that you're young and gullible. You certainly weren't there then like some of us were and documentaries rarely have to do with "normal" people any more than television shows do. A bit of growing up might be in order.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-14-2016, 05:51 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,096 posts, read 107,233,376 times
Reputation: 115906
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rome2300 View Post
Going off tv shows and documentaries it seemed very much the norm for men to have a side piece for weekend get aways and after work romps
No, it was not the norm. And stop mistaking TV for reality. TV is fantasy, for entertainment.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-14-2016, 05:56 PM
 
9,446 posts, read 6,540,036 times
Reputation: 18898
I grew up in the 50's and believe me, it WAS NOT the normal. Try watching Leave it to Beaver if you want to see what the 50's was like.

Documentaries are not about Normal people. Just as many women in Hollywood (Elizabeth Taylor, Debbie Reynolds, etc) had affairs as men did. Affairs didn't then and don't now make for healthy marriages; better to just stay single if you have a greater need for variety than for a good marriage.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-14-2016, 06:08 PM
 
Location: East coast-New England
1,639 posts, read 2,196,373 times
Reputation: 3538
Quote:
Originally Posted by jghorton View Post
If they were (?), perhaps it was because women in the 50's were often less educated and had fewer opportunities to support themselves (and their children) outside of the home. As a result, they were more dependent on their husbands. Similar attitudes prevailed in ancient times and up through the 1960's and 1970's, when women finally began to establish themselves outside of the home and thus, have more options than to simply "put up with philandering husbands."
^^^^ This about sums that up quite nicely. Some may not believe this, but of course women were more...um...bound to the house and bound to just being the 'good little wife' back then, than now. I mean come on! How can you even argue that point.

Women were NOT as independent back then as they are today in almost the year 2017. So I absolutely believe women put up with more THEN than they do NOW. THIS IS NOT TO SAY THEY ALWAYS CONDONED OR TURNED A BLIND EYE. NO But its certainly easier now for women to just get rid of a guy and do her own thing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-14-2016, 06:12 PM
 
10,341 posts, read 5,835,545 times
Reputation: 17884
Quote:
Originally Posted by klmrocks View Post
Wow... the forum has gotten depressing.

On another note .... I think I will be trying to avoid this section of the forum for a bit before I get inspired to slit my wrists.

I would much rather talk about shoes or clothes .....way less complicated !
Well that lasted for almost a day...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-14-2016, 09:09 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,371,259 times
Reputation: 53067
Quote:
Originally Posted by klmrocks View Post
Your Grandma is the type of I admire. She got in a bad situation that would crush many people ... but she got back on her feet again ! Thanks for sharing that. Bad things happen... but when bad things happen and people are able to get their lives back on track again ... that is something inspirational !
She's in her 80s, now, and sassy and awesome as ever.

When I hear people say, "Well, women in the 50s didn't have a choice," I think of a very young woman with no education, no money, and two babies saying, "No, I don't accept this, I'm worth more and so are my kids," and think, "Yeah, they do. Some choices are scary and come with major heavy lifting. But, yeah, you do have a choice."

My grandma could have very easily resigned herself to being dependent upon her husband. She had nothing of her own...no job, no money of her own, no high school diploma, and was barely literate. But she did have her dignity and a huge amount of grit. And the willingness to leave a situation full of disrespect.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-15-2016, 01:24 AM
 
641 posts, read 404,369 times
Reputation: 795
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Because what choice did they have? Divorce made you a pariah and you couldn't get a job where you could support yourself, and if your husband wanted to retaliate for you not allowing him to be like all his buddies who were also doing the secretary, he'd just get a bunch of friends to testify that you had cheated on HIM so he could sip out of child support and alimony, and then you AND your kids would starve.

Yay, the good old days.

The choices were: be accepting of whatever a man wanted to do to humiliate you in marriage, or starve and lose every friend you'd ever had.
It's amazing how far the other way it's gone now. A lot of men in marriage look the other way at their spouses cheating because they can't afford to lose everything in a divorce.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-15-2016, 01:59 AM
 
Location: Queens, NY
4,525 posts, read 3,391,629 times
Reputation: 6030
Quote:
Originally Posted by gazzaa2 View Post
It's amazing how far the other way it's gone now. A lot of men in marriage look the other way at their spouses cheating because they can't afford to lose everything in a divorce.
Ah, no. Not even close to it being like that.

And I wouldn't let my wife get away with cheating in a marriage, no way no how.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-15-2016, 04:58 AM
 
Location: Reno, NV
5,987 posts, read 10,443,515 times
Reputation: 10809
As jghorton said, most women back then were very dependent on their husband, and would put up with a lot just to survive. Men could more often get away with cheating, or even openly having a mistress. Now that women have opportunities - AND birth control! - they are cheating and having "misters" as often as men do.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top