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Not in the moment (ie. while the issue is current), but I have shared after the fact if it was a situation where it could be of help. Like if a friend is facing a similar issue, I'd confide if Mr.Mathlete and I had gone through a it, and I know he has done the same.
It really depends on what the issues are about, whether they are confidential, how much I trust the friend etc etc
Yes, this. I'm always shocked at some people who go blabbing about all their relationship issues to anyone who will listen. In a way it feels like a betrayal of the relationship trust.
Yes, this. I'm always shocked at some people who go blabbing about all their relationship issues to anyone who will listen. In a way it feels like a betrayal of the relationship trust.
I totally agree and the parties wonder why they can't get anything accomplished and their issues resolved and it's because they're talking to everyone but who they should be talking too which is each other.
Also a lot of people talk about their relationship because they want validation from other but regardless of what advice they get, they're going to do what they want anyway. So what's the point of seeking validation when your mind is already made up and in the end no one's thoughts or feelings are going to matter but your own.
In the end all it does is create a strain on the friendship, so no I don't discuss my relationship with anyone and I'm at the point that I don't want anyone discussing their relationship issues with me. Don't come to me trying to validate your relationship and you won't have to worry about me judging you if I don't know anything.
When my marriage was tanking, my husband also had cancer, so we were sort of thrust into the neighborhood spotlight. People want to be supportive. Unfortunately, there were some instances of people talking about us behind our backs. They were more judgmental than I thought they would be, considering that he was cheating on me! In one case, someone I had confided in told her DAUGHTER some details which the daughter told to my daughter at age 13. Needless to say, I was NOT Happy about that.
I had a few other friends having rough times then as well. One friend had a husband who she caught cheating, red handed. Alcoholism was a factor also, and we talked candidly about some details. She was determined to get back together, and once that happened I was no longer welcome...I knew things she didn't want anyone to know. Plus I thought he was an undeserving tool.
So you have to think about just how much to share, and with whom.
I have a friend now who is really unhappy in her marriage. Her husband seems unhappy as well. She nags him like hes 12 over all sorts of dumb stuff. She likes to say "I told you so...." and teases him a lot, but it doesn't sound like fun teasing to me. Recently she said she's been nagging him to wash his hands more often, and wipe his gear off at the gym. What grown man wants to be told to wash his hands??? She sounds a bit like my mom, who reverted to 'parenting' my dad once we were grown. I don't know what to tell her, she sounds very judgy to me. I'm having a hard time finding a balance between being supportive and minding my own business. She asked me about counseling and I told her to GO! so she wouldn't have to talk to me.
And do you really think it's a smart thing to do ?
I'm glad that I went whining to a few friends who introduced me to the idea of counseling JUST FOR ME since my then wife would have never bothered with counseling as she was PERFECT!
Thanks to those friends, I entered therapy and GOT OVER my issues.
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Therapy
