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I used to really not understand why young men had so much trouble meeting women in today's environment. Not only do they get opportunities everyday going to school or work, but they have these incredible tools to help supplement their strategy. Some of these guys have had the help of technology from the very day they realized they were interested in the opposite sex. However whenever you talk to a group of them, you always hear about failures to the point they really stop trying. I'm not talking about failures by the dozens, I'm speaking of half dozen maybe a dozen rejections....I'm sorry I can only LOL in their face when I hear this. Really 12 rejections and you are going to quit? Hope you aren't someone who I depend on to save my life if it ever needed it. Or you aren't the surgeon who is supposed to operate on a loved one. Come on, why such angst over nothing.
I've noticed this in the workplace. Trying to hire new graduates and they come for an interview because they have a degree from a leading University. But when they come to the interview they shrink up. They are so awkward that they make me uncomfortable....This is something that has become common, to the point that I will do a short phone interview to make sure they can at least speak on the phone, before inviting them for a face to face.
Why are there so many with these issues that make them shrink up when called upon...professionally and socially?
I used to think it was a combination of things. The internet and video games as well as those ridiculous participation trophies. But now I can't even place the blame on the kids. Now I think many should go see their parents and give them a slap in the face for not teaching you how to be more social. They rallied for those stupid participation trophies. They were the ones who said you were a great pianist, when the truth was you really sucked. And the ones who said you can be President, when you couldn't get a job at Burger King, they were a part of that too. By protecting and lying they created a generation of the socially awkward and soft. Young men are angry at women because it's not fair. They have all the power yet they don't have to worry about approaching men or paying for dates... I did everything for her, but she still cheated on me. It goes on and on every social forum will be loaded with threads that have titles referring to the above. Back in the day we didn't go online to learn how to fix problems. We figured it out ourselves. I never went to ask my dad about dating, I learned on my own. Maybe instead of crying about unfairness or inabilities. Maybe try and figure it out on your own. Life is tough, adapt, but stop complaining/bitching about it....let the hate roll in while I go on a date with my hot wife 😁
Me too. But seriously, I also feel sorry for those women 40-50 (sometimes even young ones) who have difficulties getting a man to commit!
I've noticed this in the workplace. Trying to hire new graduates and they come for an interview because they have a degree from a leading University. But when they come to the interview they shrink up. They are so awkward that they make me uncomfortable....This is something that has become common, to the point that I will do a short phone interview to make sure they can at least speak on the phone, before inviting them for a face to face.
Some young people have told me they'd rather do an interview via text messaging. I doubt many employers will agree to that. My 21 year old nephew will ONLY text and won't talk on the phone to anyone, or even use email. His friends are the same way. They won't look people in the eye or have face face conversations. Their social skills do seem underdeveloped, compared to the kids that I grew up with in the eighties.
From what I've seen, this age group of men has no trouble committing. Some randomly will, just as with any age group and either sex.
Many women in my age group do not want to commit as we want to retain our freedom .
Many men in their 40s and 50s do not want to commit if they have already been through a divorce and pay child support or alimony. They don't want to go down that road again. I can't blame them for that. One of my friends recently tried to get her 50-year old boyfriend to commit. He bailed out once they got engaged. He'd been through a divorce and he had significant assets, and didn't want to lose more money in another divorce.
This is what I found starting late 30s! Dates, lovers, casual whatever is all over, commitment minded types? Nada.
Well now that's equally an extreme.
Obviously, with 50% of the nation married at any given time, the amount of commitment-minded women, including those over 30 and including divorcees (also according to stats), isn't "nada." In fact, it's still a majority.
Notice I said "many." And that's true. Many women aren't willing to jump into commitment again following a divorce. But many are. The majority of divorcees will still, even today in a less-marrying time period, wind up married again; men slightly more than women numbers-wise, but still, most of each gender.
And the overwhelming majority of U.S. individuals of both sexes will wind up married at least once during their lifetime, whenever that happens, early or late - I believe that number is just over 90%.
Once again, Timber, your experiences, while anecdotally interesting, are far from the norm/average, and not representative of what most people can expect. Always, though, as I said, interesting!
Many men in their 40s and 50s do not want to commit if they have already been through a divorce and pay child support or alimony. They don't want to go down that road again. I can't blame them for that. One of my friends recently tried to get her 50-year old boyfriend to commit. He bailed out once they got engaged. He'd been through a divorce and he had significant assets, and didn't want to lose more money in another divorce.
In any given age group, slightly more men will be remarrying (have already been married once) than women. The gap between men has narrowed but it is still (I think...these stats may be on this same page...this data is everywhere so I just grabbed Pew) 62% of men remarry, and 53% of women.
These dudes are afraid, but as total numbers go, not as afraid as what you might think.
Of course some people will flee from re-commitment, or even commitment to a first marriage. That's fine. Happens.
As a 27 year old, you can't compare dating to the old times. Dating will be hard unless you are the best looking males. The average male will struggle big time. I personally blame the internet and social media. Before, you could go to any woman and ask her out and you will be 1 of 5 w/e. These days you are competing with hundreds under guys. This leads to woman being picky because they have illusion of options. It is probably the best time to be a good looking male though, you will have all the options in the world.
The "illusion of options". LOVE it.
That some people would rather have someone that literally settled for them than someone who actually wants to be with them never ceases to amaze me.
That some people would rather have someone that literally settled for them than someone who actually wants to be with them never ceases to amaze me.
I know.
There seems to be a small faction (it's definitely not the majority) who pines for some illusory "old days" (vaguely defined...but usually either one of two time periods: the 50s, or the Victorian era) where women would just agree to marry whatever guy, so that meant, according to this dream, that the socially graceless, poor, unappealing dude could have a beauty queen or something, because she had to take him - she had no other options (again, for very vaguely defined reasons). This unbelievably beautiful, very young girl would then submit to his legally raping her for the next 30 years or however long it took her to die from being overbred and giving birth with no decent medical care or in the 50s, would apparently, doll- and drone-like, continue to mechanically bring him his slippers until they both died in their 80s and were buried next to each other, awww. Of course, in the meantime, the former beauty queen had grown old, so the loving husband had tight young mistresses. Just like Mad Men!
And this faction of men dreams of this as a collective golden time. Dreams of it. Dreams lovingly of the thought of a beautiful girl forced to be with him and silently submitting to whatever he wanted. Until she died. While he enjoyed.
I'm not sure, actually, whether we should be sad bout this, or pretty freakiin' scared by it.
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