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Yeah, I don't have an issue with being alone. I enjoy my own company. I don't need anyone else.
If that were true you wouldn't have been throwing up in a motel room...Just accept the fact that you really do need him. It doesn't sound like you'll be able to make it alone.
Everyone has to decide for themselves what's acceptable, maybe this is what you want?
I would imagine she's in a tough position right now. Maybe she wants to leave but it's just a tough decision to make, and maybe she doesn't wanna hastily make that decision. She might need more time.
As far as speaking to an attorney and counseling, I certainly understand both. It would seem the attorney would be a good way of covering her bases if the counseling does not work out.
We're not stupid. But you informed your husband you're leaving before you've consulted an attorney. You may have made a legal blunder. But you don't know.
Well then why are you posting another whiny thread on a public advice forum? Especially if you don't want our advice -- which was almost unanimously saying to leave him?? Take down the hostility a notch. And what happened to being "done" and "dead inside"? Your choice, of course, but nobody is going to want to take you seriously in your next thread.
The urge to honor one's vows is almost as strong as the fear of change, which is prehistoric in humans. Two things working against her. It will take strength, and possibly anger to make this right.
It has to be done though, and you know it, Convex. Take your time. No one needs a You Tube meltdown on Christmas day.
You sound like a teenager running away from home, knowing that mom and dad will always welcome you back, but for now you want your little adventure in living alone in your cute house.
I can't otherwise understand why you are seeing both an attorney for a separation, and a counselor for staying together.
Because change is terrifying, especially if it is your security, but that nagging voice in the gut that refuses to shut up with " this is not right" . Feeling uncomfortable in your own skin. Walking on eggshells. Trying to keep the peace. You'd rather open a vein than be humiliated in public by him again. And what he does in public, which they all chalk up to drunkenness, as if that makes it okay, is nothing compared to what waits for you at home.
Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 12-28-2016 at 08:35 AM..
Reason: Off-topic.
I don't know if you people just can't read, BUT I AM SEEING MY ATTORNEY NEXT WEEK!
FOR THE THIRD TIME NOW!
ENOUGH!
As for the rest of your post, I don't give two [bleep] what you think, it's my marriage, and I said Til Death Do Us Part.
/thread
I think it's hard enough for the OP to have someone question her every move to be met with people questioning her every move when she's reaching out because she's hurt.
She's been with this guy for years - and despite what negative she's bringing up, there were positives, as well. She is emotionally invested in this person, despite the hurting. You don't just stop loving someone overnight.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow
I think it's hard enough for the OP to have someone question her every move to be met with people questioning her every move when she's reaching out because she's hurt.
She's been with this guy for years - and despite what negative she's bringing up, there were positives, as well. She is emotionally invested in this person, despite the hurting. You don't just stop loving someone overnight.
It's understandable to me. I get deeply hurt when relationships of a year end. Deeply. I can't imagine 15 years.
I thought he said that because she was telling HIS daughter what to do with HER husband/kids.
Idk...
Yes, but she (from his perspective--mistakenly) assumed that the family she'd married into, including kids she became a step-mom to and helped raise, were also "her" kids. She raised them and loved them like her own. His barked command to basically "lay off my kids" was a shock, as it let her know in front of everyone where she stood, or his version of where she stood. Who knows what the kids really think. But she had thought all along, since the kids were small up to when they had kids of their own, that she, he and they were all one family unit.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 12-25-2016 at 11:30 PM..
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