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My situation: I am a single 36 year old man. I am selfish and live a life of DOD contracting, travel, and partying. I earn about 150k per year.
My true love recently called me and told me she is divorcing her husband. She is pregnant with 2 kids already. We were soul mates 10 years ago but I left Macedonia and she married in Germany. I often think about her but dont want to marry a woman with kids.
I am tempted to work something out with her, but the fact she is pregnant now is troublesome. Is it right to ask her to get an abortion in order for us to get back together?
This sounds means but I dont want to take care of anyone else's mistake let alone 3. One small girl child might be ok, but 3 terrify me.
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Frankly, this is a bad idea. At this point, you hardly know her and how she has changed in 10 years - you may not be at all compatible any longer, so you are looking much too far ahead. Before you can make ANY decision about marriage, you'd have to date her for a long time (longer than usual, because you are away so much for work), and see how her children affect how you feel and what you can handle.
Right now, she sees you primarily as a safety net and escape route - she may not love you, may not be a good friend and wife to you. Basically, she is using your feelings for her - and perhaps your wealth - to her advantage. If you were really "soul mates" then why didn't she marry you or wait until you were ready. Something is very not right with this situation. Be careful. Better yet, be a friend, but date other women and find one without children who loves you - and you her - and make a life together with your own family.
My true love recently called me and told me she is divorcing her husband.
She is pregnant with 2 kids already.
Wish her well.
Advise her to contact you only AFTER the divorce is final
...and she know how much her life costs
... and she know how to earn (or otherwise receives) that much.
Then you can have "parity" and consider other more romantic options.
Don't do that. If you're selfish don't ask someone else to suffer for it. Things might not work out and she'll resent you for the rest of your lives. That's not being a soul mate.
Do you know the best thing please DUMP her. She might be happy with some one else not with you. She deserve better than that. Hope she is not divorcing her husband for you!
I think you guys are right....i want to help her out though.... i still think she is naive about how hard it will be do be a single mom of three kids when she has been supported by a man for so long....
I know it sounds callous to suggest for a woman to get an abortion, but bringing another kid into this world with no stability is unwise.
I could do one small child I think from another man but not 3.
have there been any other childless men who married a woman with kids before around here? what do you think?
Do you know the best thing please DUMP her. She might be happy with some one else not you. She deserve better than that. Hope she is not divorcing her husband for you!
no, he slapped her around a few times and insulted her. I think he is having money problems and taking it out on her. he cheated on her too, but i told her to suck that up....i would not let a floozy destroy my family if I was a woman.
i do love her though..but we have evolved from 10 years ago.
Even in the best of circumstances, marrying someone who has three children (that are not yours) is challenging and difficult. And that is when the two adults are in a strong, stable relationship.
What you are describing isn't a relationship. You are the safety guy. You don't even know this person, not really, and I assume you don't know the two children she already has.
I think you guys are right....i want to help her out though....
Nope. Stay away.
She's not your soulmate. You are your own soulmate. You will only bring pain into the lives of those kids if you get involved.
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