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If this story is actually true than it's pretty sad and the OP as no self esteem or confidence in herself whatsoever and it's sad. Correct, you should have NEVER even have moved him in and married him. Nothing can be done about that now, but you can divorce him and move on. So you have an STD, that sucks but that doesn't mean you need to stay with someone abusive because of it! Move on and take care of yourself! Get counseling before even attempting another relationship.
Sorry this is a long story, but I have alot on my heart: My first marriage was to a guy 10 years older than me. We were together for nearly 5 years. At the end of the marriage, he kept accusing me of cheating (I wasn't), punched a hole thru our bedroom wall, then threatened to shoot me/"my lover." I divorced him March of 2015, then when I was single I went absolutely wild.
Fast forward to August 2015, I was considering moving from AL to FL for work. I get a message from Marcos saying he would love to take me on a date before I move. We had a date on his bday Sept 2nd and he asked me to be his girlfriend Sept 14th. November 2015 tragedy struck my life...I caught the "H virus" from Marcos lip cold sores...I was in the hospital on morphine with a catheter in for two weeks. I was devastated and suicidal...when I finally told him what I caught from him, he accused ME and said he only had 2 girlfriends before, his ex-fiancee was a virgin...making me feel worthless. Dr confirmed it was from him.
We somehow repaired our relationship. December 2015 we were out one night at a Hooters watching a UFC fight. One of my best friends of 7 years Carlos was at the bar so I went to say hi...Marcos nearly knocked his lights out. Here's a shorter summary of everything that happened next:
*December 2015- Marcos was so lazy to get up he peed in a water bottle in his room, found it when I came back from the gym.
*January 2016- one night Marcos got so drunk he took all of his clothes off and went running through his apartment complex in 28 degree weather. He then got jealous of my male coworker talking to me and accused me of cheating.
*February 2016- I bought my first house (in my name only) and he moved in with me. After Valentines, he proposed and I said yes despite my better judgement...I felt no one would want me with the H virus.
*April 2016- We got married. One month later we went on our "honeymoon" to FL....he invited two of his friends along.
*May 2016- He through a birthday party for me...and made me do all the cooking/cleaning. We got in a fight because he got so drunk he threw up everywhere at my bday party at our house.
*Summer 2016- Marcos went out multiple times with his friends without me..often till 2 or 3 am. Got stopped by the cops one night.
*November 2016- I text our friend Mattheus about his cousin Nicole. Marcos tells me "go cuddle with Mattheus. you like mattheus don't you?". The next weekend as i'm eating dinner, he brings me a pair of underwear out of the laundry I washed/dried for him and said "Whose are these? They aren't mine!" I was so shocked I said "I don't know, they have to be yours." I found them in the trash....they said "Made in Brazil" on them in Portuguese...my husband is from Brazil. Another night he got angry with me for using my cellphone. The next night, he came home from soccer & told me he's an a**hole and that he'd change.
Recently, he told me a story about his cousin calling him to his house and Mod cut.. We got in a screaming match. I'm not the jealous type so I had never looked in his phone before...until the last 2 weeks. This is what I found and why i'm contemplating divorce:
1)Messages to his ex-fiancee's best friend. The fiancee was the supposed "virgin".
2) Messages from the ex-fiancee thru her best friend's page saying how she "has a pain in her heart" about Marcos still. She got married 2 months ago to another man...
3)A naked picture of a dark skinned, small breasted woman (appeared Brazilian). I do not think it's p*rn because it was sent through the texting app Whatsapp...I think it's a real woman.
4)3 pictures of p*rn scenes. He had photoshopped his head onto the man....and photoshopped his friends mom and sister onto the women...
5)Old messages from the day he asked me to be his girlfriend. One of them he was talking about sleeping with the girl and that he was going bowling "with the guys"....that's the night we went bowling and became official.
6) Old messages with him and a woman named Bruna. She had sent him explicit texts about [Mod cut.] and sent him 3 homemade p*rn tapes...he's still friends with this girl on Facebook. And it was the same time when he first asked me on a date. We weren't official yet but still...he calls me dirty? He told me previously the [Mod cut.] was the only "bad" thing he ever did.
Do you think this is worthy of divorce? I haven't confronted him yet because I want to gather more evidence...but it's killing me inside. I am a beautiful 25 year old woman making $50,000 a year & halfway finished with my MBA...
I've known a few Brazilian birds that were great/wild/eccentric but in a good way not like him
If you're this unhappy then what choice do you have my love? Plus apart from his attitude/behaviour the lack of trust would kill it for me.
I really do wish you well in deciding which path to take
OP, you must have severely low self-esteem to have married him in the first place. Or even to have let him move in with you, after so many bizarre and verbally abusive incidents. You also don't seem to know much about the Herpes virus. It's common for children to get it from their parents, when kissing "goodnight", or whenever. "Cold sores" are not necessarily an STD. There's no big stigma around it.
It's also concerning that after getting out of a marriage where you were accused of infidelity, you got involved with another guy who did the same. And yet, you allowed that relationship to go forward. You're exercising very bad judgment, to the point of having self-destructive tendencies.
Get out of this marriage (see a lawyer first, so you can protect your assets), then get counseling to get to the root of what drives you to make such poor choices and end up in abusive situations.
What Ruth said, and also, once divorced spend at least a year alone and work on yourself. You need to do a better job of picking men! But you have to figure out why you pick these losers in the first place to break the pattern.
I struggle to have any sympathy for this. Other than the fact it's most likely a troll post, if you marry a violent, moody douchebag you deserve anything that comes after that.
I am a beautiful 25 year old woman making $50,000 a year & halfway finished with my MBA...[/quote]
And modest too.
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