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"She's not hot" obviously a lie
"Never noticed her" obviously a lie
I suspect this is not the first time for the OP, so "Oh her? She's hot, but nothing compared to you, you are the center of my world" might be a little much at this point. Obviously, I don't know that.
OP: was this the first time you have been insecure with your BF?
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"She's not hot" obviously a lie
"Never noticed her" obviously a lie
I suspect this is not the first time for the OP, so "Oh her? She's hot, but nothing compared to you, you are the center of my world" might be a little much at this point. Obviously, I don't know that.
OP: was this the first time you have been insecure with your BF?
His other options? He could have responded like a warm, caring partner, and said something along the lines of, "Aww, honey, you know I'm crazy about you, right? We're solid! You're being silly."
Except the OP never brought it up, because on that particular day, all she was trying to do is wait for him to finish so she could use the same machine or bench. He's the one who brought it up. He could have done it more sympathetically, certainly.
edit: ok, I just saw a later post by the OP where she says this type of thing has been an issue between them before, which is why he was brusque with her this time. So apparently they've discussed her insecurities before.
This is why I can't stand relationships. Insecure women like this. This is the type of stuff that makes me lose interest quickly. Get a grip and get some confidence in yourself. If I was him and you were doing this stuff I'd start looking elsewhere. Maybe even gym girl.
Hey guys, sorry for no response. I posted this pretty late last night and then fell asleep quickly because I was exhausted.
I know this is my problem and to pin it on S/O even though he's done nothing wrong is making me feel bad. I just need to learn to relax and let him have his gym time without me constantly coming up to him. If I happen to see her near him, I won't think anything of it. The only time I will start to become concerned is if they start talking, but they've never spoken before.
I know this isn't the first time I have become insecure about another girl, which is why he responded the way he did. He has never really given me a reason to not trust him with other girls, so I need to learn to be secure in my trust with him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
What were his other options?
"She's not hot" obviously a lie
"Never noticed her" obviously a lie
I suspect this is not the first time for the OP, so "Oh her? She's hot, but nothing compared to you, you are the center of my world" might be a little much at this point. Obviously, I don't know that.
OP: was this the first time you have been insecure with your BF?
But you, I and probably everyone else already knew that my love ...... However kudos for her at least acknowledging this so hopefully their relationship has a future
His other options? He could have responded like a warm, caring partner, and said something along the lines of, "Aww, honey, you know I'm crazy about you, right? We're solid! You're being silly."
Except the OP never brought it up, because on that particular day, all she was trying to do is wait for him to finish so she could use the same machine or bench. He's the one who brought it up. He could have done it more sympathetically, certainly.
edit: ok, I just saw a later post by the OP where she says this type of thing has been an issue between them before, which is why he was brusque with her this time. So apparently they've discussed her insecurities before.
I was trying to lead the OP to some insights.
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A person who puts up with that kind of blatant disregard for another's feelings is the most insecure of the bunch. When your boyfriend openly drools over other women right in front of you and then tells you they aren't doing anything wrong so get over it, and that woman agrees with him, I see an extremely insecure and fearful woman.
It is the woman who refuses to put up with this sort of bad behavior who gets the good guy and keeps him. And, of course, that goes for men too. I am aware that when I look at other men it may make my husband a bit jealous or if other men look at me or approach me that he may feel a bit insecure. It's not that he doesn't trust me or that he's overly insecure within the relationship. It's human nature to feel a bit concerned now and then. I counteract that possibility by reassuring him in whatever way I think will work. It's not exhausting, it's not a problem at all, it's a labor of love.
Just because you got in a relationship and married an insecure person, doesn't mean everyone else is like that. You're an exception to the rule.
Ditch your BF. He's an ass. There's no way he should have responded the way he did. Both women and men have been socialized to think that their partner should not have to reassure them in any way and that if they are feeling jealous, then that is their problem. But, that's not how it works. Both partners should be making every effort to let their SO know that they are more attracted to them than anyone else.
OP, I hoped you listened to the advice in this thread, with the exception of this foolishness.
Stop being insecure or you're going to drive your bf away, maybe right to Gym Girl.
This is why I can't stand relationships. Insecure women like this. This is the type of stuff that makes me lose interest quickly. Get a grip and get some confidence in yourself. If I was him and you were doing this stuff I'd start looking elsewhere. Maybe even gym girl.
Not all women are like this. I am surely not, and have dumped men in the past for acting like this. I am a woman and I agree with you.
To the people commenting the guy was wrong and was drooling over the other women, that was never said. Why can't people acknowledge another person is attractive without it being the end of the world? This guy did nothing wrong, and I would bet my life he is used to catering to her insecurities on a day to day basis.
The good thing is, she knows and will hopefully work on this.
Just because you got in a relationship and married an insecure person, doesn't mean everyone else is like that. You're an exception to the rule.
It IS the OP's problem, not her boyfriend's.
Of course, Good argument. You've completely swayed me.
Do you seriously think that most people don't feel jealous from time to time? If so then I believe you are being either naive or dense.
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...... However kudos for her at least acknowledging this so hopefully their relationship has a future 
