Was I expecting too much? (dating, guy, call, mature)
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I met this guy at the library before the semester ended and exchanged numbers. Our primary form of communication has been through texting but it always started with me initiating the convo, like a few days in a row. He's asked me out on a date several times now and I told him that when I get back in town, it would happen. It's clear at this point that he's very interested and says he respects that I'm trying to get to know him and not just hook up. We had a great convo two days ago, with him saying we'd continue the convo tomorrow after I said I had to go to bed. He never initiated the conversation the following day and on top of that, never replied to me when I said hi. Out of frustration, at the end of the day, I asked if he was playing childish games. He thinks I'm looking for someone attentive and with a lot of patience and I'm honestly confused because when you're interested in someone, shouldn't you want to talk to them? I asked him what he meant exactly, and he said that when we we don't talk, I get impatient. I don't see how I'm wrong here because when I say hi, I expect a hi back (not right away, but by the end of the day at the very least). I don't expect a full blown conversation every time, just a simple "hi" to check in. But nope, he ignores it and doesn't see a problem with it. Just the day before he told me he was afraid I'd become uninterested and would stop talking to him so I'm not sure what the deal is? Just really confused as to what's going through his head and why he's acting that way with all the mixed signals.
Btw, I've ended it with him. Told him that I liked him and thought the feelings were reciprocated but it's apparently not. He doesn't want to end whatever we have and insists that he likes me, but it's too late cus I'm not dating someone this wishy washy.
Is this guy playing games with me or am I just completely over the top with my expectations on a potential date? Just asking out of curiosity and for future reference. Either way, definitely not wasting my time with him anymore. I've never encountered this situation before during the dating phase - it's usually always the guy that initiates the convos and says hi to me first.
If a person is interested they will be thinking of the other person and be happy to hear from them. If not, then it's time to move on especially if it's always one sided.
You hadn't even gone out yet - maybe he didn't want to invest overly much before you'd actually had a date. I know I don't like to text so much that then there's nothing to even talk about when getting together! I'd have gone out with him (as promised) and then seen how the texting and other stuff went, provided the date was good. You "ended" things prematurely, IMO.
I find loads of texting boring and annoying, especially when we haven't even gone out on a date. I don't want to get to know somebody through texting, I want to learn about them in person. Maybe he just isn't into texting much either? It also sounds like you never really gave him the opportunity to reach out first, always being the one to initiate the conversation. It's good to take a step back sometimes and to give the other person space to miss you.
You sound needy to me, and I think you probably come across that way to him. Who texts "hi" anyway? You said he's asked you out several times, and you havent gone? And I dont know how you've "ended it" when nothing started.
I find this type of behavior really annoying too. It's not that difficult to text back a simple “hi" when someone you're talking to initiates contact. I don't want to go back and forth texting all day but if I like someone I'll take a moment to text them back within a few hours.
Maybe I'm just impatient too but I would feel like someone is playing games if they took days to respond to my text. I think if someone is into you they will want to respond within a reasonable time and they will also initiate contact and not wait for you to call them all the time.
I met this guy at the library before the semester ended and exchanged numbers. Our primary form of communication has been through texting but it always started with me initiating the convo, like a few days in a row. He's asked me out on a date several times now and I told him that when I get back in town, it would happen. It's clear at this point that he's very interested and says he respects that I'm trying to get to know him and not just hook up. We had a great convo two days ago, with him saying we'd continue the convo tomorrow after I said I had to go to bed. He never initiated the conversation the following day and on top of that, never replied to me when I said hi. Out of frustration, at the end of the day, I asked if he was playing childish games. He thinks I'm looking for someone attentive and with a lot of patience and I'm honestly confused because when you're interested in someone, shouldn't you want to talk to them? I asked him what he meant exactly, and he said that when we we don't talk, I get impatient. I don't see how I'm wrong here because when I say hi, I expect a hi back (not right away, but by the end of the day at the very least). I don't expect a full blown conversation every time, just a simple "hi" to check in. But nope, he ignores it and doesn't see a problem with it. Just the day before he told me he was afraid I'd become uninterested and would stop talking to him so I'm not sure what the deal is? Just really confused as to what's going through his head and why he's acting that way with all the mixed signals.
Btw, I've ended it with him. Told him that I liked him and thought the feelings were reciprocated but it's apparently not. He doesn't want to end whatever we have and insists that he likes me, but it's too late cus I'm not dating someone this wishy washy.
Is this guy playing games with me or am I just completely over the top with my expectations on a potential date? Just asking out of curiosity and for future reference. Either way, definitely not wasting my time with him anymore. I've never encountered this situation before during the dating phase - it's usually always the guy that initiates the convos and says hi to me first.
It is good you ended it, he obviously cannot meet your expectations of him that he is unaware of.
You present yourself as impatient, needy and a wee bit controlling.
He is not the one playing childish games and there are no mixed signals in my opinion from what you wrote.
People do have lives and other things they need to tend to and cannot ask how high to jump when you tell them to jump. Move on to someone who meets your expectations but be sure and tell them up front what those expectations are.
You sound needy to me, and I think you probably come across that way to him. Who texts "hi" anyway? You said he's asked you out several times, and you havent gone? And I dont know how you've "ended it" when nothing started.
I was dating a guy that used to randomly text me “hey" throughout the day. That's it. No, “how's your day going" or “what are you doing" just “hey". I didn't mind. I thought it was sweet that he was at least thinking of me even if he didn't have much to say.
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