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Do you think by "mature" she might have meant "more experienced"?
You are doing the right thing by moving on and getting that experience!
Assuming that was the reason, the only thing I can possibly think of is what I still live with my parents, and currently looking for a full-time job (just have 1 more college class left, then I graduate in May). That's what she may have meant by "more mature."
However, if true, it's a bit hypocritical in my eyes since she also works part-time right now as a linguist (and in general) at a tanning salon, lives with a roommate or 2 I believe, and wants to go for nursing sometime next year (she's on break from school right now). I was willing to overlook the fact that she isn't fully established right now, but I guess she couldn't do the same for me.
And thanks
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
Most people meet their SOs through friends of friends and social events It doesn't mean you have to be friends, you just have to be in a shared social situation with them.
People who do not socialize frequently are going to have a tougher time meeting new people, of course
Yeah, I think friends of friends ranks #1 in terms of how people meet, then social events. I think OLD is like around #3 or something.
Assuming that was the reason, the only thing I can possibly think of is what I still live with my parents, and currently looking for a full-time job (just have 1 more college class left, then I graduate in May). That's what she may have meant by "more mature."
However, if true, it's a bit hypocritical in my eyes since she also works part-time right now as a linguist (and in general) at a tanning salon, lives with a roommate or 2 I believe, and wants to go for nursing sometime next year (she's on break from school right now). I was willing to overlook the fact that she isn't fully established right now, but I guess she couldn't do the same for me.
And thanks
Yeah, I think friends of friends ranks #1 in terms of how people meet, then social events. I think OLD is like around #3 or something.
Well yeah, some women aren't going to go for that (even if they're in a similar position).
Assuming that was the reason, the only thing I can possibly think of is what I still live with my parents, and currently looking for a full-time job (just have 1 more college class left, then I graduate in May). That's what she may have meant by "more mature."
However, if true, it's a bit hypocritical in my eyes since she also works part-time right now as a linguist (and in general) at a tanning salon, lives with a roommate or 2 I believe, and wants to go for nursing sometime next year (she's on break from school right now). I was willing to overlook the fact that she isn't fully established right now, but I guess she couldn't do the same for me.
And thanks
Yeah, I think friends of friends ranks #1 in terms of how people meet, then social events. I think OLD is like around #3 or something.
The bolded is why she said it. Even if she is in the same position, and younger, she expects an older man to be in a better position than her. Right, wrong or indifferent, that's the way it is. It may be in her mind if she wanted to date a man in the same circumstances as her, she would date a guy more closer to her age.
The bolded is why she said it. Even if she is in the same position, and younger, she expects an older man to be in a better position than her. Right, wrong or indifferent, that's the way it is. It may be in her mind if she wanted to date a man in the same circumstances as her, she would date a guy more closer to her age.
26 is a bit old to be an undergrad, living at home and not working, don't you agree? I was married with a full time career and living an expat life overseas at your age.
ETA, sorry, was addressing the OP, not the quoted poster, with whom I agree.
It's good that she was honest...but a simple, "I don't believe we're a match" would've sufficed. IMO.
OP, don't over think so much as to what she meant by "mature." You no longer have to deal with her and she didn't have a large presence (based on the info in the OP) in your life. Don't take it personally.
In terms of still living with your parents, I don't see a problem with that. You're about to obtain your degree and are in the process of establishing yourself. It'd be different if you were sitting around doing NOTHING. I'll be 25 when I receive my Bachelor's and I plan on moving out when I have a full time job in my career field. Different circumstances and choices lead to different outcomes. One person's situation won't be the same for the next person.
My mom advised against me moving out UNTIL I obtain my Bachelor's and get a decent job. I think it's a pretty wise move considering most of my friends that rushed to live out on their own are so stressed out, living pay check to pay check, AND going to school full time. I understand WHY they did it, but it's not the case for me.
I don't see a problem with the OPs' situation, or at least, it wouldn't bother me.
26 is a bit old to be an undergrad, living at home and not working, don't you agree? I was married with a full time career and living an expat life overseas at your age.
I was exactly the same at 26. Married, owned a home and had moved out of state and pretty much had my career established. But I know times are different, and the job market isn't what it was when I was 26. and so I try not to be critical about things like that. My point was pretty much her own expectations. Many young women date older men with the expectation they are better off, not on the same level. It's like a 17 year old without a license, probably wouldn't date a 21 year old who couldn't drive. It sucks, but that's usually the way the cookie crumbles.
My cousin much older cousin (born in 1966) lived with his parents (and later mom after his dad died) until he was like 33. He moved out once for a year and lived with a girl when he was like 28 or 29. He always had girlfriends too. I figured almost half of 26 year olds still live at home these days. I even work with a few late 20's guys that do. One is married and he and his wife live at home with the parents.
I was exactly the same at 26. Married, owned a home and had moved out of state and pretty much had my career established. But I know times are different, and the job market isn't what it was when I was 26. and so I try not to be critical about things like that. My point was pretty much her own expectations. Many young women date older men with the expectation they are better off, not on the same level. It's like a 17 year old without a license, probably wouldn't date a 21 year old who couldn't drive. It sucks, but that's usually the way the cookie crumbles.
Yes, I agree with you, and edited my post accordingly.
I figured almost half of 26 year olds still live at home these days. I even work with a few late 20's guys that do. One is married and he and his wife live at home with the parents.
Are they unemployed, going to school and trying to date working, independent, degreed women 5 years younger?
The bolded is why she said it. Even if she is in the same position, and younger, she expects an older man to be in a better position than her. Right, wrong or indifferent, that's the way it is. It may be in her mind if she wanted to date a man in the same circumstances as her, she would date a guy more closer to her age.
I mean, it's not like I'm 36 and in this position. I'm 26, and plenty of people around my age are in the same predicament of trying to establish themselves.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
26 is a bit old to be an undergrad, living at home and not working, don't you agree? I was married with a full time career and living an expat life overseas at your age.
ETA, sorry, was addressing the OP, not the quoted poster, with whom I agree.
I'm essentially done as a full-time undergrad student. Just have 1 class left (starting end of January), then I graduate in May. It's why I'm looking for something full-time right now (along with working on my online side business) since I could take that class in the evening, twice a week. Also to start saving up money to get my own place in Manhattan sometime this year (maybe mid-later part of this year).
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It doesn't mean you have to be friends, you just have to be in a shared social situation with them.
