The death of the dinner date (how to, kiss, personality, attract)
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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by randomparent
I have no solution for you. It was just an observation that finding love while young has its benefits, one of which is that eating leftovers together in the Student Union between classes is a perfectly acceptable date.
Finding love is fairly easy when young, but its completely different dynamic. Having that love and relationship work until you're at a place to marry is a completely different thing. Then having that work into adulthood is even a longer shot.
Finding love is fairly easy when young, but its completely different dynamic. Having that love and relationship work until you're at a place to marry is a completely different thing. Then having that work into adulthood is even a longer shot.
I don't understand your point. I have been married to the person I dated in college for almost thirty years. Our first expensive dinner together involved a proposal. We married a couple of weeks after graduation.
I have no solution for you. It was just an observation that finding love while young has its benefits, one of which is that eating leftovers together in the Student Union between classes is a perfectly acceptable date.
It's about perspective, I think.
My second date with my now-partner (or first date, for those that subscribe to the "meet and greet" train of thought) involved us driving into the mountains and stopping for a picnic lunch. For me, this was an absolutely perfect date.
On the other hand, I'm out of the stage of life where going to the local drive-thru with money found in the couch is an outing to be remembered.
It is what it is, but I don't think that "finding love when young and broke" is necessarily better.
My second date with my now-partner (or first date, for those that subscribe to the "meet and greet" train of thought) involved us driving into the mountains and stopping for a picnic lunch. For me, this was an absolutely perfect date.
On the other hand, I'm out of the stage of life where going to the local drive-thru with money found in the couch is an outing to be remembered.
It is what it is, but I don't think that "finding love when young and broke" is necessarily better.
I said it had its benefits, not that it was better.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,920,441 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by randomparent
I don't understand your point. I have been married to the person I dated in college for almost thirty years. Our first expensive dinner together involved a proposal. We married a couple of weeks after graduation.
You're a rarity. I know one person (a family member) that met their spouse in college and made it work (and they waited until their education was done and they were professionally set before tying the not, so the dating was about 6-7 years). Everyone else that I've met that coupled as a child didn't have it work.
Now, most people that waited to adulthood to marry did have it work. And statistics support that path.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73
It is what it is, but I don't think that "finding love when young and broke" is necessarily better.
It isn't. I had a number of LT relationships when I was young and broke. We went to campus movies, parties, "studied" together, whatever, it didn't matter. But we knew each other before we had a date, and it certainly wasn't "better", it was just what was available for us to do being young and broke.
As adults we do the same thing, a walk along the shore or a hike, a walk through the city seeing the holiday lights and talking, but that is something generally done when we know there is some chemistry. Here we're talking about first dates or first meetings. A different thing altogether.
You're a rarity. I know one person (a family member) that met their spouse in college and made it work (and they waited until their education was done and they were professionally set before tying the not, so the dating was about 6-7 years). Everyone else that I've met that coupled as a child didn't have it work.
Now, most people that waited to adulthood to marry did have it work. And statistics support that path.
We both had professional positions in our fields secured upon graduation. There was no need to wait another three years to be set. We loved one another, had emotionally supportive families, jobs, and a desire to be married. And clearly it was a good decision, because here we are, still happily coupled nearly thirty years later.
Otherwise, the confusion seems to come from the generally accetped definitions of the words that others have used for ages:
Definition of MEET AND GREET/ MERRIAM WEBSTER
1. a reception at which a public figure (as a politician or rock star) socializes with press members and other guests
Urban Dictionary: meet and greet
Example:
The National Protological Association annuall convention's meet and greet was a success. I met with the heads of 5 manufactures, 4 resellers, 2 financiers, and ...
What is a date?
Urban Dictionary: date
1. Since the exploration of romance is the purpose of a date, merely asking someone out on a date is sufficient to broach the subject. Dates may or not continue ...
Merriam Webster
Definition of DATE
1. 1a : the time at which an event occurs <the date of his birth>b : a statement of the time of execution or making <the date on the letter>
2. 2: DURATION
3. 3: the period of time to which something belongs
4. 4a : an appointment to meet at a specified time; especially : a social engagement between two persons that often has a romantic characterb : a person with whom one has a usually romantic date
5. 5: an engagement for a professional performance (as of a dance band)
__________________________________________________ ____________________________
There is no "First we meet, then we decide if its going to be a date after that" definition anywhere accept on CD-R.
Good grief. Call it whatever you want. Clearly there are a lot of people that don't use the term "date" unless its someone they have met and decided that they wish to go out on a date with. If it's a setup, then it's a blind date. If it's a first meeting, it's just exactly that. It can certainly "morph" into something more.
Really not neccecesary to get all excited about it.
This forum is the only place I've ever seen or heard the term "meet and greet" used to describe a date that is somehow not a "real date" because it doesn't involve dinner. I can't imagine anyone using that term in real life.
In my dating/social circles (which have spanned various ages, races, socioeconomic classes, and continents, among other things) it has always been considered "a date" when two people who have romantic interest (or potential romantic interest) toward each other go out and do something together. It doesn't really matter where they go or what they do.
People were going on dates that didn't involve dinner when I started dating in the late 80's, and I assume they did long before that, too. This is yet another case of the media trying to pretend something as old as humanity is somehow new.
Whether you have dinner or not has nothing to do with it. What a funny thread this is becoming.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,920,441 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by randomparent
We both had professional positions in our fields secured upon graduation. There was no need to wait another three years to be set. We loved one another, had emotionally supportive families, jobs, and a desire to be married. And clearly it was a good decision, because here we are, still happily coupled nearly thirty years later.
Great, again, you're a rarity. Congratulations. Unless you have a time machine I don't know how it helps.
And the people I referenced had to wait until their professions were established (i.e. several years and a few jobs... a first job is just a start) and their educations were done, which included grad school for both in different parts of the country. It would have been foolhardy for them to not wait until they were established. Heck, even then, they weren't together most of the first couple of years of marriage due to professional obligations.
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