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Old 01-03-2017, 05:12 PM
 
37,487 posts, read 45,753,331 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Probably not, but I'm not going to meet people with a distrusting mindset. That would ruin the experience for me, and I've never really had any really bad experiences out of many many many. Some not great ones, but nothing I would ever need to have my guard up against. I'll take people at face value.

PS: I don't include things like body type in misrepresentation, because that is such a matter of opinion, and it isn't that huge a deal to me.
Well, like I said, once I addressed it in my profile, it was not a problem again, at least as far as general appearance and such. Maybe us gals get more of this - I dunno.

Here is an example. There was this one dude...when I met him I would have sworn he was a car salesman. I mean - he was that smooth and smarmy. I didn't trust him an inch - just the way he acted and looked around...just behavior that hit me wrong. We met for a quick drink, in a crowded bar. I left immediately after as we both had later plans, and really didn't expect to hear from him again. I really did not warm up to him at all. Then a few weeks later I get a message from him - he wants me to check out his profile again - that he "made some changes". I was curious, so I did. And NOW his profile says that he is married, looking for no-strings sex on the side with the "right" woman. So the jerk clearly met with a few ladies, made notes on who was "acceptable", and then contacted them after he came clean in his profile.

Heck the very first time I ever even browsed an OLD site, I found my son's cub scout leader on there - and he was MARRIED. My son and I were both looking at it and wondering what the heck. I made a call, he was confronted and thrown out of the troop that week.

I'm not saying you should meet people with a "distrustful mindset". But I think it makes sense, certainly for women, to be cautious and not make any assumptions.
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Old 01-03-2017, 05:14 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,593 posts, read 37,371,256 times
Reputation: 29336
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD View Post
Yum! I haven't had that in ages! Does it come with butter with fresh-squeezed lemon to dip the leaves in?
Or, for a bit of additional richness, a light hollandaise!
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Old 01-03-2017, 05:15 PM
 
37,487 posts, read 45,753,331 times
Reputation: 56985
Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73 View Post
Well, if we go by that standard, then there are a heck of a lot of things that I don't know about my partner.

I mean, he says that he has a sister in law in Connecticut, but I've never met her or spoken with her. He says that he graduated from college, but I've never seen his diploma. He says that he goes into work every day, but I've never been to his office.

Yeah, I tend to take people at their word, until such time as they show me that I shouldn't. Because, IME, having to have everything shown to me before I believe it is a very tiring way to live.
I do for those people that I meet, and that I have gotten to know. I never make any assumptions about someone that I was meeting for the first time, via online. That has served me well, and I have never found it a bit tiring.
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Old 01-03-2017, 05:19 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,809,275 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Well, like I said, once I addressed it in my profile, it was not a problem again, at least as far as general appearance and such. Maybe us gals get more of this - I dunno.

Here is an example. There was this one dude...when I met him I would have sworn he was a car salesman. I mean - he was that smooth and smarmy. I didn't trust him an inch - just the way he acted and looked around...just behavior that hit me wrong. We met for a quick drink, in a crowded bar. I left immediately after as we both had later plans, and really didn't expect to hear from him again. I really did not warm up to him at all. Then a few weeks later I get a message from him - he wants me to check out his profile again - that he "made some changes". I was curious, so I did. And NOW his profile says that he is married, looking for no-strings sex on the side with the "right" woman. So the jerk clearly met with a few ladies, made notes on who was "acceptable", and then contacted them after he came clean in his profile.

Heck the very first time I ever even browsed an OLD site, I found my son's cub scout leader on there - and he was MARRIED. My son and I were both looking at it and wondering what the heck. I made a call, he was confronted and thrown out of the troop that week.

So yeah, you've been lucky I think.

Well, I've met married people online too. Probably one in five of the people on OKC that message me are married. More are involved with others. They're in open marriages or poly or open relationships. It's not my thing, but it's not my business. I expect even though I say I'm monogamous by nature these people will contact me, not everyone is going to read my entire profile.

I feel bad about the scout leader. It's non of the Scout's business what arrangement they have in their marriage.
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Old 01-03-2017, 05:22 PM
 
6,304 posts, read 8,987,644 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
I do for those people that I meet, and that I have gotten to know. I never make any assumptions about someone that I was meeting for the first time, via online. That has served me well, and I have never found it a bit tiring.
How do you determine who you're going to meet from online then?

And, in terms of being tiring, I was referring generally to having to be shown things before one believes them. Apparently, you only meant that for those people you haven't gotten to know. Thanks for the clarification.
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Old 01-03-2017, 05:22 PM
 
37,487 posts, read 45,753,331 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Well, I've met married people online too. Probably one in five of the people on OKC that message me are married. More are involved with others. They're in open marriages or poly or open relationships. It's not my thing, but it's not my business. I expect even though I say I'm monogamous by nature these people will contact me, not everyone is going to read my entire profile.

I feel bad about the scout leader. It's non of the Scout's business what arrangement they have in their marriage.
It certainly is. The troop was church-based and they were both members. He was cheating - the wife knew nothing about it.
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Old 01-03-2017, 05:27 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,809,275 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
It certainly is. The troop was church-based and they were both members. He was cheating - the wife knew nothing about it.

So she says after it comes out. We have no idea what they agreed to behind closed doors. I've run across that before, where people said something else to their neighbors to try to "save face" in a twisted way, than what they agreed to. It especially happens with couples have young kids in open marriages.

But unless they're going to across the board kick out everyone that had pre marital sex, uses birth control, or does any number of things that are against it's religious order, it's more church based B.S.

Or maybe this is one of those scout troops that want to teach "values" and excludes children with gay parents or whatnot. Lots of that going around, heck, there was a scout troup that kicked out a transgendered boy recently. Poor kid. Nauseating.
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Old 01-03-2017, 05:27 PM
 
37,487 posts, read 45,753,331 times
Reputation: 56985
Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73 View Post
How do you determine who you're going to meet from online then?

And, in terms of being tiring, I was referring generally to having to be shown things before one believes them. Apparently, you only meant that for those people you haven't gotten to know. Thanks for the clarification.
Apparently you need a lot of clarification. THAT is tiring for sure.
I think I've been clear enough. I've had plenty of great relationships that started online. I guess I did something right, somehow.
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Old 01-03-2017, 05:28 PM
 
37,487 posts, read 45,753,331 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
So she says after it comes out. We have no idea what they agreed to behind closed doors.

But unless they're going to across the board kick out everyone that had pre marital sex, uses birth control, or does any number of things that are against it's religious order, it's more church based B.S.

Or maybe this is one of those scout troops that want to teach "values" and excludes children with gay parents or whatnot. Lots of that going around, heck, there was a scout troup that kicked out a transgendered boy recently. Poor kid. Nauseating.
I knew them. I assure you - she knew nothing. You have no idea what the troop teaches or taught. Has nothing to do with premarital sex or birth control. Good grief. There is nothing good about a cheating scout leader. He was living an entirely separate life - all a lie.

I don't go to church anymore myself, but I would never make assumptions about someone's church or beliefs.
This thread has gotten way off track. I think I am done.
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Old 01-03-2017, 05:30 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
10,216 posts, read 8,280,945 times
Reputation: 8628
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
You just want watch us meeting and greeting.
Nah I was just kidding. Two women kissing does nothing for me.
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