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Rejectee-someone who gets rejected by people
rejector-someone who does the rejecting
If you would've asked me this before today, I would have preferred to be the rejector. It's easy, concise, and your feelings won't get hurt. But as of right now, I much rather be the rejectee...
There's a woman who is trying to pursue me for the second time in three years. The first time she tried to pursue me, I came off being rude and I ended up hurting her. She's a nice woman but I was not attracted to her at all. So I told her that I didn't want a relationship with her but I'm open to a friends with benefit ordeal. ( I wasn't trying to be rude but I thought she would be open to that idea) However, she got extremely offended and she told me that I made her uncomfortable, so we went our separate ways.
I recently reunited with her two months ago at church. During that time, we had very short and awkward conversations, and I even helped her with a play that she put on last week. A few days ago, she called me out of the blue. The conversation was long and lengthy but it was a good chat. Today however, she texted me that "one day she wishes that we can be more than friends." Right then and there, I knew I had to let her down gently. I do have a HUGE problem--I don't communicate well and effectively. In fact, when I have to reject a woman, I usually do it in a cowardly way-by going ghost.
Today I took a huge step. I called her and told her that, "I'm not interested in being more than friends; rather, being just friends. Would you be ok with that?" Short, honest, and concise.
I've been the rejector more than the rejectee, but when someone rejected me, they usually went ghost. I didn't really realize how hard it is to have the balls to have a straight and honest conversation with the other person. (i know, it's pathetic) When I went ghost on someone, I thought I did it so they would get the "hint" and I'm doing them a "favor" by letting them down gently--but that wasn't the case at all. I went ghost because it was easier for me to do; rather than me having the "courage" to tell someone that I wasn't interested in them in the most polite way.
I didn't really realize how hard it is to have the balls to have a straight and honest conversation with the other person. (i know, it's pathetic) When I went ghost on someone, I thought I did it so they would get the "hint" and I'm doing them a "favor" by letting them down gently--but that wasn't the case at all. I went ghost because it was easier for me to do; rather than me having the "courage" to tell someone that I wasn't interested in them in the most polite way.
I wish we could pin this ^^^ to the top of this forum.
Good job on telling her straight up. For what it's worth, don't even try to be friends. She clearly will not be able to do that.
Rejectee-someone who gets rejected by people
rejector-someone who does the rejecting
If you would've asked me this before today, I would have preferred to be the rejector. It's easy, concise, and your feelings won't get hurt. But as of right now, I much rather be the rejectee...
There's a woman who is trying to pursue me for the second time in three years. The first time she tried to pursue me, I came off being rude and I ended up hurting her. She's a nice woman but I was not attracted to her at all. So I told her that I didn't want a relationship with her but I'm open to a friends with benefit ordeal. ( I wasn't trying to be rude but I thought she would be open to that idea) However, she got extremely offended and she told me that I made her uncomfortable, so we went our separate ways.
I recently reunited with her two months ago at church. During that time, we had very short and awkward conversations, and I even helped her with a play that she put on last week. A few days ago, she called me out of the blue. The conversation was long and lengthy but it was a good chat. Today however, she texted me that "one day she wishes that we can be more than friends." Right then and there, I knew I had to let her down gently. I do have a HUGE problem--I don't communicate well and effectively. In fact, when I have to reject a woman, I usually do it in a cowardly way-by going ghost.
Today I took a huge step. I called her and told her that, "I'm not interested in being more than friends; rather, being just friends. Would you be ok with that?" Short, honest, and concise.
I've been the rejector more than the rejectee, but when someone rejected me, they usually went ghost. I didn't really realize how hard it is to have the balls to have a straight and honest conversation with the other person. (i know, it's pathetic) When I went ghost on someone, I thought I did it so they would get the "hint" and I'm doing them a "favor" by letting them down gently--but that wasn't the case at all. I went ghost because it was easier for me to do; rather than me having the "courage" to tell someone that I wasn't interested in them in the most polite way.
Please feel free to share your stories!
I realize I'm in the minority, but I'd rather be the rejectee.
I have my reasons...I'm neurotic. But when you deal with people who don't take no for an answer...
I would rather be rejected. It hurts but I'm used to it. I don't like rejecting someone but if it has to be done then I will. The thing is I know how that hurts so I feel bad to be put in that situation but when the person doesn't take no for an answer then that can be stressful for me.
It doesn't matter to me. I've been on both sides. Guys have ghosted me and even though I claimed I would want them to tell me straight up they don't like me, I don't think I could've handled it back then.
Nowadays, I rather someone tell me how they really feel. I've rejected guys, and it IS hard, especially when they are genuinely nice people.
Good for you for the way you handled her overture. I have been on both sides. I will usually have a nice quiet conversation with him and basically say that I don't want to date at this time. If he won't take no for an answer, I will not respond to his calls or text. If calls or text continue, I will block his number. I can deal with being rejected, that's life. There is a right way to do anything, and ghosting is the most coward way to end things.
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