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Old 01-10-2017, 12:15 PM
 
Location: Queens, NY
4,525 posts, read 3,395,097 times
Reputation: 6030

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mae Maes Garden View Post
Still living with your folks? Past 22?...
Irresponsible with $$, in debt, party too much, no ambition to better yourself employment wise, ***** about your employer/boss? Rebel against "superiors? 30 going on or never left 18? Lazy? Tatoos? Piercings....rainbow colors in your hair, sloppy in appearance? Impolite? Disrespectful of others? No goals for your life? Hop jobs when you are no "happy"? Smokers vs non?

I don't know but you are how you act and portray ypurself. The bar raises in attractiveness along with the expectations of prospective dates..male or female. As We tend to be drawn to our similararities and goals. Socio Economics play into this. For me, at least.

Back in my dating years I turned down a date with a 30year old guy ( I was 29) because he STILL lived at home with mommy. ( He worked full time so ...why?) I had been out of the house since I was 20. I told him that I did not date boys who still lived with their mommies. He was shocked that I even said it!

Mae
Even if some people work full-time, they still may want to live at home with their parents to save up money, which might have been the case with him. From his perspective, he may have thought you were shallow for saying that.
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Old 01-10-2017, 02:12 PM
 
5,722 posts, read 5,787,137 times
Reputation: 4381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mae Maes Garden View Post
Still living with your folks? Past 22?...
Irresponsible with $$, in debt, party too much, no ambition to better yourself employment wise, ***** about your employer/boss? Rebel against "superiors? 30 going on or never left 18? Lazy? Tatoos? Piercings....rainbow colors in your hair, sloppy in appearance? Impolite? Disrespectful of others? No goals for your life? Hop jobs when you are no "happy"? Smokers vs non?

I don't know but you are how you act and portray ypurself. The bar raises in attractiveness along with the expectations of prospective dates..male or female. As We tend to be drawn to our similararities and goals. Socio Economics play into this. For me, at least.

Back in my dating years I turned down a date with a 30year old guy ( I was 29) because he STILL lived at home with mommy. ( He worked full time so ...why?) I had been out of the house since I was 20. I told him that I did not date boys who still lived with their mommies. He was shocked that I even said it!

Mae
A guy like that could be loaded and buying a condo or something with cash after he gets into a relationship.

So in reality you may have passed up a very financially sound situation just due to being brainwashed to think a certain way.
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Old 01-10-2017, 03:44 PM
 
193 posts, read 168,643 times
Reputation: 258
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76 View Post
A guy like that could be loaded and buying a condo or something with cash after he gets into a relationship.

So in reality you may have passed up a very financially sound situation just due to being brainwashed to think a certain way.
Very good point.

Plus the people living on their own could seem well off but living paycheck to paycheck, rent instead of own, etc etc. And has to do UBER on the side to make ends meet.
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Old 01-10-2017, 03:53 PM
 
Location: Queens, NY
4,525 posts, read 3,395,097 times
Reputation: 6030
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodie2shoes View Post
Very good point.

Plus the people living on their own could seem well off but living paycheck to paycheck, rent instead of own, etc etc. And has to do UBER on the side to make ends meet.
That does happen.

Which is why if I plan to move out, I'd want to save up at least 6 months to a year's worth of pay, and budget as much as possible.
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Old 01-12-2017, 07:13 AM
 
195 posts, read 160,783 times
Reputation: 241
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mae Maes Garden View Post
Still living with your folks? Past 22?...
Irresponsible with $$, in debt, party too much, no ambition to better yourself employment wise, ***** about your employer/boss? Rebel against "superiors? 30 going on or never left 18? Lazy? Tatoos? Piercings....rainbow colors in your hair, sloppy in appearance? Impolite? Disrespectful of others? No goals for your life? Hop jobs when you are no "happy"? Smokers vs non?

I don't know but you are how you act and portray ypurself. The bar raises in attractiveness along with the expectations of prospective dates..male or female. As We tend to be drawn to our similararities and goals. Socio Economics play into this. For me, at least.

Back in my dating years I turned down a date with a 30year old guy ( I was 29) because he STILL lived at home with mommy. ( He worked full time so ...why?) I had been out of the house since I was 20. I told him that I did not date boys who still lived with their mommies. He was shocked that I even said it!

Mae
As has been said by others there could be good reasons. It's sad you never even bothered to get more information on his situation. Looks like he dodged a bullet.
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Old 01-12-2017, 10:03 AM
 
Location: PA
2,113 posts, read 2,400,384 times
Reputation: 5471
I can understand some circumstances why a guy could be living with his parents after a certain age (student loans, taking care of them, etc.) but in my past experiences that wasn't the case. In both cases that come to mind right away, the guys didn't want the responsibility of paying any bills or anything to live under their parents' roof for that matter. They spent whatever money that they could have saved on toys for themselves. The parents enabled this because they didn't really want their sons to grow up. The last I heard is that one of these exes is still living at home, despite having a wife and kids, and being 42 years old. Different strokes for different folks, but not a lifestyle that I would want for myself.
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Old 01-12-2017, 10:03 AM
 
36,226 posts, read 30,671,050 times
Reputation: 32504
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodie2shoes View Post
Generally speaking, men who don't have jobs are losers. Women who don't have job are Princesses.

For example: A stay at home mom estimated worth is six figures a year. (they tell themselves that to make them feel better).

Yet, a stay at home father is a dead beat.
Your welcome to your opinion, Ill stick to mine.
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Old 01-12-2017, 10:08 AM
 
36,226 posts, read 30,671,050 times
Reputation: 32504
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Yes. Around here there are plenty of highly respected stay-at-home and home schooling Dads. I saw them all the time at the local groups for same. No one blinked an eye. They did all the same things the rest of us home parents did, kids, medical appointments, bills, housekeeping, home work, bedtimes. I did not see them eating any more bon bons that any of the SAHMs that I knew.
I haven't known many SAHDs, mainly because most dont want to but when a dad does do the stay at home gig he is viewed the very opposite of dead beat. Its like he is a super hero for doing the things mothers are just expected to do. At the same time the working mother is often viewed as a bad parent because she chose working over her children.
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Old 01-12-2017, 11:25 AM
 
Location: NNJ
15,053 posts, read 10,045,925 times
Reputation: 17223
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
I haven't known many SAHDs, mainly because most dont want to but when a dad does do the stay at home gig he is viewed the very opposite of dead beat. Its like he is a super hero for doing the things mothers are just expected to do. At the same time the working mother is often viewed as a bad parent because she chose working over her children.
Didn't work out this way for my neighbor (posted about him earlier in this thread). He had a very difficult time re-entering the workforce. Staying at home to raise a child isn't seen as an acceptable reason for a gap in the work experience if you are a male. Good luck asking for "maternity" leave from work if you are a male.... FMLA (which I took) only does so much.

Not to mention it is difficult for a SAHD to find a place in daily life.. most social groups, activities, etc.. are dominated by SAHM and not very welcoming to men. There was a short time period I was part-time SAHD with my elder son. I am a photographer at heart, so I almost always have a camera with me. I can't tell you how many women acted like I as a pervert looking to take advantage of their children at the playground. It is very isolating.

You rarely see a group of SAH-parents comprised of a mix of male and females at the mall either.

You rarely see programs offered specifically to SAHDs. Good luck being a male caregiver to someone elses child.


I rarely see mothers getting flack for not staying home with their children these days. Yes.. used to be back when the majority of the families in this country were single-income. Its not to say that the mother was being a bad mother for choosing to work, but rather that the family is not doing well financially that required dual income. These days, dual income families has become the norm and is so common that the reverse is true now; that a family that can afford to have a SAHM is a fortunate one.. it is a luxury.

Last edited by usayit; 01-12-2017 at 11:34 AM..
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Old 01-12-2017, 12:02 PM
 
195 posts, read 160,783 times
Reputation: 241
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
I haven't known many SAHDs, mainly because most dont want to but when a dad does do the stay at home gig he is viewed the very opposite of dead beat. Its like he is a super hero for doing the things mothers are just expected to do. At the same time the working mother is often viewed as a bad parent because she chose working over her children.
I'd be willing to bet 99% of the time if she does get people that feel that way it's other women. I really don't think guys would care.
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