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Old 01-04-2017, 07:37 AM
 
Location: U.S.A.
19,613 posts, read 20,087,854 times
Reputation: 28688

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The strip club story really pulls it all together.

Your man wanted a submissive woman, he got it - but here's the thing - you can only submit to him.

It really is his problem tho. If you don't, won't, or can't assert yourself with him, how can he expect you to assert yourself with others when they cross the line..

- Hugging the customer is absolutely and 100% unproffessional conduct.
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Old 01-04-2017, 07:50 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,671,004 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Pip View Post

But he cares enough to get so upset about it? Okay makes sense.
No. No no no no no.

Jealousy is not a sign of love. What's next, he cares enough to slap you when you do something wrong? That's not how you show you care.

If he truly cared about YOU, his first reaction would not have been to ACCUSE you of harming him.

He will apologize and things will seem better, but within a couple of weeks, something else will blow up, OP. If it does, be prepared to walk because it will NOT get better.
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Old 01-04-2017, 08:11 AM
 
467 posts, read 423,091 times
Reputation: 424
Interesting how a country dictates what's "normal". Its like saying the number 5 isn't the number 5 somewhere else. Cultures are strange things.
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Old 01-04-2017, 08:20 AM
 
1,399 posts, read 1,787,411 times
Reputation: 3256
Quote:
Originally Posted by mathjak107 View Post
i find that behavior by your electrician "shocking "
Yes! Finally someone said it!
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Old 01-04-2017, 08:21 AM
 
Location: In the bee-loud glade
5,573 posts, read 3,328,761 times
Reputation: 12295
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
No. No no no no no.

Jealousy is not a sign of love. What's next, he cares enough to slap you when you do something wrong? That's not how you show you care.

If he truly cared about YOU, his first reaction would not have been to ACCUSE you of harming him.

He will apologize and things will seem better, but within a couple of weeks, something else will blow up, OP. If it does, be prepared to walk because it will NOT get better.
This is the gist of it. The situation with the electrician was awkward, and unprovoked and unwanted. The husband felt uncomfortable hearing what happened and he lashed out at the OP who was pretty much the victim of the electrician's awkward actions. Maybe victim is a strong word, but technically a victim.

And regarding hugs, I work with adults with developmental disabilities. We really discourage hugging, except when the occasion or the relationship justifies it. We have several people who are known indiscriminate huggers. They're mentally retarded and in many cases have at least some slight mobility issues (they're not fast). Still, I get caught in a hug I tried to avoid several times per year. So a non disabled person getting a hug in before you can (gracefully) avoid it rings 100% true to me. Husband needs to get a grip.
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Old 01-04-2017, 08:34 AM
 
Location: Southern MN
11,957 posts, read 8,278,885 times
Reputation: 44493
If he is a male connector and you are a female connector it would be appropriate for an electrician to, well, connect you this way.


Edited to add: I see I'm late to the party.
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Old 01-04-2017, 08:57 AM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
11,583 posts, read 6,687,086 times
Reputation: 14786
Yep, wrong forum!
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Old 01-04-2017, 09:13 AM
 
Location: in a parallel universe
2,648 posts, read 2,294,156 times
Reputation: 5894
Quote:
Originally Posted by br1n View Post
my guess is with the holidays just passing he was in the habit of hugging family and friends at every holiday gathering and you got hugged because of his recent muscle memory of repeated hugging.
That's possible. I've been guilty of that after attending family gatherings myself. I would do the handshake/air kiss on the cheek routine automatically and then want to kick myself for doing so..

OP.. bottom line is if it's make you feel uncomfortable then go with your gut feelings. Either find someone else to work for you or don't be around when he's working.
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Old 01-04-2017, 09:26 AM
 
36,076 posts, read 30,581,630 times
Reputation: 32334
Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12 View Post
And regarding hugs, I work with adults with developmental disabilities. We really discourage hugging, except when the occasion or the relationship justifies it. We have several people who are known indiscriminate huggers. They're mentally retarded and in many cases have at least some slight mobility issues (they're not fast). Still, I get caught in a hug I tried to avoid several times per year. So a non disabled person getting a hug in before you can (gracefully) avoid it rings 100% true to me. Husband needs to get a grip.
I've had this happen on occasion and I dont work with those with developmental disabilities.
I also had a long awkward hug by a guy who T-boned me. The cops were working the accident and I finally was able to get out of the car and he came over and apologized and gave me this big long hug..
And of course people who are drunk seem to like to hug.
If there is no groping or meshing of certain body parts I wouldn't think too much of it. Some people are just weird huggers.

The boyfriends reaction is out of line.
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Old 01-04-2017, 09:29 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,089 posts, read 107,163,173 times
Reputation: 115885
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Of course there does. She was asking for it. Maybe she was wearing a certain shirt. Or had had an alcoholic beverage sometime in the last six months. Or did not put on her head scarf that day.

Good grief.
lol! +1! (Couldn't rep you)
The missing puzzle piece is that she came out in her negligee to settle the bill with him.


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