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I agree it is not a "choice". However, I would also say that attraction is a very dynamic thing. There are many instances, in my own life, where I have become attracted to men that I initially had absolutely ZERO attraction for. This would happen over time, after becoming well acquainted with the person, and really liking them for what they were inside. It certainly happens, perhaps far more than many realize. Of course, it requires fairly frequent interaction, so this sort of thing would happen in work environments, at the gym, or in social circles. Obviously it's not something that would come into play at the first meeting.
Hope I'm not prying, but was the attraction any different in the instances when it was more immediate as opposed to the times when it took time to develop? I have had both experiences (attraction being immediate and attraction growing over time) and if anything the attraction growing over time tends to be longer lasting. For me.
Hope I'm not prying, but was the attraction any different in the instances when it was more immediate as opposed to the times when it took time to develop? I have had both experiences (attraction being immediate and attraction growing over time) and if anything the attraction growing over time tends to be longer lasting. For me.
Was it any "different"? You mean the relationship itself? I don't think I could say that one was more lasting than the other, generally. In my experience, at least.
Was it any "different"? You mean the relationship itself? I don't think I could say that one was more lasting than the other, generally. In my experience, at least.
I'm sure some people really don't find some people become more attractive over time. I wonder though if others are so adamant that it couldn't possibly happen to them because they think it would be a lesser experience. Like by describing the experience we're advocating for a second class sort of experience.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Originally Posted by homina12
I'm sure some people really don't find some people become more attractive over time. I wonder though if others are so adamant that it couldn't possibly happen to them because they think it would be a lesser experience. Like by describing the experience we're advocating for a second class sort of experience.
If you have chemistry with someone, and are attracted to them, it doesn't feel like a second class experience. It's one of the best feelings in the world, no matter how you got there.
If you have chemistry with someone, and are attracted to them, it doesn't feel like a second class experience. It's one of the best feelings in the world, no matter how you got there.
I agree, but I wonder if some people think there is only one way to get there. One authentic way.
I'm sure some people really don't find some people become more attractive over time. I wonder though if others are so adamant that it couldn't possibly happen to them because they think it would be a lesser experience. Like by describing the experience we're advocating for a second class sort of experience.
I think those that are "adamant that it couldn't happen" feel that way simply because it has not happened to them. And obviously not everyone will experience that.
I agree, but I wonder if some people think there is only one way to get there. One authentic way.
It really doesn't matter. I don't think it's something that you can force. It happens, or it doesn't. People know what experience teaches them. Romanntic relationships can develop from purely platonic ones. It happens. It doesn't happen for everyone.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Originally Posted by ChessieMom
I think those that are "adamant that it couldn't happen" feel that way simply because it has not happened to them. And obviously not everyone will experience that.
If they're not open to it, it definitely won't happen. It's a sure way to a self fulfilling prophecy.
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