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I been dating my new girlfriend love her dearly and she and I both said we would love to be married to each other. Only thing is she can sometimes get too clingy and attention needy that when she doesn't get attention she wants or I can't respond right away to her she seems to go crazy on me.
I can't even take a two hour nap and leave the phone off without her getting ticked off at me for not responding to her text messages. I will wake up and see I have like 15+ text messages and 2 missed calls. This was in the space of like only 2 hours during the time I took a nap.
She will get mad and say you don't care about me. I will tell her hun I am sorry I took a nap was tired had phone off. I will wake up to text messages "no one loves me", "you don't care", "your leaving me", "I hate myself", etc. I mean gosh sorry wasn't at phone for about 2 hours while I was taking a nap after finished work.
I love all the attention she gives me, but sometimes I worry when I don't give her attention she wants she will leave me and I worry I will not be able to meet her attention needs. I tell her I am not superman, I am only human. I will try to always be there for her, but I am only human.
How do I handle this?
Last edited by PJSaturn; 01-05-2017 at 02:03 PM..
Reason: Corrected typo in thread title.
I been dating my new girlfriend love her dearly and she and I both said we would love to be married to each other. Only thing is she can sometimes get too clingy and attention needy that when she doesn't get attention she wants or I can't respond right away to her she seems to go crazy on me.
I can't even take a two hour nap and leave the phone off without her getting ticked off at me for not responding to her text messages. I will wake up and see I have like 15+ text messages and 2 missed calls. This was in the space of like only 2 hours during the time I took a nap.
She will get mad and say you don't care about me. I will tell her hun I am sorry I took a nap was tired had phone off. I will wake up to text messages "no one loves me", "you don't care", "your leaving me", "I hate myself", etc. I mean gosh sorry wasn't at phone for about 2 hours while I was taking a nap after finished work.
I love all the attention she gives me, but sometimes I worry when I don't give her attention she wants she will leave me and I worry I will not be able to meet her attention needs. I tell her I am not superman, I am only human. I will try to always be there for her, but I am only human.
How do I handle this?
How new is this girlfriend?
If you are prepared for the rest of your life to be exactly as it is right now, and maybe a bit worse at times, then just keep dating her. It really won't change.
Did she have insecurities growing up? Because, my wife was extremely clingy for years, until our children grew up. I attribute it to her fear, back as a teenager, that her common-law stepfather might walk out at any time, and leave their family without a means of support. She and I have had no extended family emotional support nearby at any time during our marriage. We were entirely on our own. For the first 14 years of our marriage, I was away from my wife and children only one single night (to attend my mother's funeral out-of-town. It would have been logistically too hard to take her and the babies along with me). When I returned the very next night, she gave me a "guilt trip" that I had left her alone with our twin babies and she had cabin fever (She had a car, but could not have managed alone, loading the babies in the car to go anywhere by herself. We had a comfortable house at the time with all conveniences, and I supported us so she has never had to work). A few months before then, I also tried to attend my class reunion party, just across the city for the evening, but had to come home earlier than the others, because she was crying on the phone and felt abandoned and giving me another "guilt trip". I never tried to take a night off again, until 12 years later. I faithfully came directly home from work, every single night.
Last edited by slowlane3; 01-04-2017 at 09:03 PM..
If you are prepared for the rest of your life to be exactly as it is right now, and maybe a bit worse at times, then just keep dating her. It really won't change.
Did she have insecurities growing up? Because, my wife was extremely clingy for years, until our children grew up. I attribute it to her fear, back as a teenager, that her common-law stepfather might walk out at any time, and leave their family without a means of support. She and I have had no extended family emotional support nearby at any time during our marriage. We were entirely on our own. For the first 14 years of our marriage, I was away from my wife and children only one single night (to attend my mother's funeral out-of-town. It would have been logistically too hard to take her and the babies along with me). When I returned the very next night, she gave me a "guilt trip" that I had left her alone with our twin babies and she had cabin fever (She had a car, but could not have managed alone, loading the babies in the car to go anywhere by herself. We had a comfortable house at the time with all conveniences). I also tried to attend my class reunion, just across the city, but had to come home earlier than the others, because she was crying on the phone and felt abandoned. I never tried to take a night off again, until 12 years later.
She has been hurt she says a lot in her life. She has been in abusive relationships in her past and her father was abusive, but she hasn't really opened yet up about what exactly happened.
She often gets scared that she will get hurt again and worries I will leave her.
Did she have insecurities growing up? Because, my wife was extremely clingy for years, until our children grew up. I attribute it to her fear, back as a teenager, that her common-law stepfather might walk out at any time, and leave their family without a means of support. She and I have had no extended family emotional support nearby at any time during our marriage. We were entirely on our own. For the first 14 years of our marriage, I was away from my wife and children only one single night (to attend my mother's funeral out-of-town. It would have been logistically too hard to take her and the babies along with me). When I returned the very next night, she gave me a "guilt trip" that I had left her alone with our twin babies and she had cabin fever (She had a car, but could not have managed alone, loading the babies in the car to go anywhere by herself. We had a comfortable house at the time with all conveniences, and I supported us so she has never had to work). About the same time, I also tried to attend my class reunion, just across the city, but had to come home earlier than the others, because she was crying on the phone and felt abandoned and giving me another "guilt trip". I never tried to take a night off again, until 12 years later.
You definitely were a trooper for sticking it out, not sure I would have.
Then again, not being clingy is one of the things I quickly look for.
Location: Born in L.A. - NYC is Second Home - Rustbelt is Home Base
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleArnold
I been dating my new girlfriend love her dearly and she and I both said we would love to be married to each other. Only thing is she can sometimes get too clingy and attention needy that when she doesn't get attention she wants or I can't respond right away to her she seems to go crazy on me.
I can't even take a two hour nap and leave the phone off without her getting ticked off at me for not responding to her text messages. I will wake up and see I have like 15+ text messages and 2 missed calls. This was in the space of like only 2 hours during the time I took a nap.
She will get mad and say you don't care about me. I will tell her hun I am sorry I took a nap was tired had phone off. I will wake up to text messages "no one loves me", "you don't care", "your leaving me", "I hate myself", etc. I mean gosh sorry wasn't at phone for about 2 hours while I was taking a nap after finished work.
I love all the attention she gives me, but sometimes I worry when I don't give her attention she wants she will leave me and I worry I will not be able to meet her attention needs. I tell her I am not superman, I am only human. I will try to always be there for her, but I am only human.
How do I handle this?
That is terrible. I was thinking old school she needed to be stroked and fondled a lot. That text stuff is BS. Good luck with her!
The first step is for you to be honest with yourself about how much of you putting up with this is to do with your ego.
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