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Some people want to get married and some people don't. There's nothing wrong with either preference unless you and your partner aren't on the same page. It sounds like regardless of the move, they've been together for 3 years and the OP is ready to get engaged and her boyfriend isn't.
OP, if your boyfriend doesn't want to get married or if he's dragging his feet saying he will be ready at some unknown time in the future, then why bother moving? You guys aren't on the same page and continuing to live together where you are now or moving to a new place isn't going to change that.
I suppose you could give him an ultimatum. Either he proposes or you're not moving, but really if it gets to the point where he needs an ultimatum to propose, then do you really want to marry him? Marriage is tough even when both people really want to get married. It's going to be a lot tougher with someone who is resentful because they only got married because of an ultimatum.
OP could move and always just move back if things don't work out, but personally I wouldn't want to go through all that for someone who didn't have the same future goals.
Some people want to get married and some people don't. There's nothing wrong with either preference unless you and your partner aren't on the same page. It sounds like regardless of the move, they've been together for 3 years and the OP is ready to get engaged and her boyfriend isn't.
OP, if your boyfriend doesn't want to get married or if he's dragging his feet saying he will be ready at some unknown time in the future, then why bother moving? You guys aren't on the same page and continuing to live together where you are now or moving to a new place isn't going to change that.
agreed
Quote:
I suppose you could give him an ultimatum. Either he proposes or you're not moving,
Terrible idea
The moving and the marriage, are 2 different issues. If the marriage thing is an issue, that should be figured out regardless of where anyone is living.
Curious to know what would be so different about dating in Denmark? Is it mostly a hookup culture or something? It's not like we're talking about a Muslim country or something.
Danes have a very relaxed attitude about sex, both parents and children, and also parents' attitudes about their children's sexual behavior. It's a normal, fun dating activity. I found few women who weren't ready to have sex on the first "date" and they didn't have any expectations about what would come of it in the future.
Shortly after I landed there, I remember one of them asking me, "aren't we going to have sex", as if she was saying "Do you want to watch TV"?
My situation: Been with my boyfriend for a few years, he's 32, I'm almost 29, we're currently long distance because his work transferred him to another country, but we have lived together before that for about two years in total.
So, here's the thing- He wants me to move to be with him, which theoretically isn't hard for me (I work selfemployed and I'd actually love to move to that new country), but I'm scared. We're not engaged. And even though I know that being engaged/married doesn't mean the relationship is safe, I kinda don't feel comfortable moving to a different country to live with him, without being engaged at least, especially considering that we have been together for over three years. We have talked about marriage before but he isn't in a rush, he says we will get married one day but doesn't see the point of doing it now.
Also, he has bought an apartment there where we would live (I didn't buy it with him because back then I wasn't sure if I should really move), which scares me a bit as well- Moving to a different country to live in HIS apartment (while he could kick me out whenever) without even being engaged?
I don't know, am I expecting too much? I really wanna be with him but I feel like it's natural that I expect us to be engaged at least for me to move. He doesn't seem to understand my problem.
What do you think? What would you do?
Thanks!
You don't sound like you are in a happy, trusting relationship.
You have been together for a long time and you lived together for a long time, but you seem very unsure that this relationship will last. Why do you worry he kicks you out?
People have different opinions about marriage. Neither one is wrong or right. I would see it like this:
If he wouldn't have moved away, would you keep living together without marriage and you are okay with it? If so, I would move to the new country to be with him.
If marriage is very important to you no matter where you live, I would not move.
If you move without being engaged, he will most likely not propose any time in the near future. This is the perfect opportunity and he doesn't take it - I would guess he has no plans to do it at all.
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