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Old 01-12-2017, 02:09 PM
 
6 posts, read 2,867 times
Reputation: 15

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So i was depressed for a few years and was suicidal for a while. i was in a 1 year relationship with someone i wasnt really happy with in that time too. The last couple months of our relationship just concisted of arguing with each other.
Overall it was a great relationship but i was still depressed wich had a negative effect on our relationship, in the beginning she made me forget about my problems but it started to get worse later on and she had things going on in her life aswell and we decided to break up.

now about 1.5 years later
I sorta went on a date with someone ive known for 4 years now and i always kinda was interested in her but never really talked or something to her.
Im saying we went on a date but we just went out to eat*

So i ended up falling in love with her, we still didnt talk a lot. later i told her and she responded with * i dont want to be in a relationship because this happened and this reasson *
This was a real weird feeling of beeing in love. just thinking of her seeing her in public talking to her it helped a lot with my depression.

*few months later*

Dont want to say that im not depressed anymore but its like a lott less. and i tried to socialice more and i realised that i cant hold proper conversations. Probably because ive only been talking to like 2 people for the past few years and my relationship with this girl is now really awkward. she doesnt really mind but i said a ton of cringy **** the past few months now and really changed her perstective of me from a friend to some weird guy that isnt stable.
I have like 4 months left before i cant see her as often anymore and it feels like thats a deadline for like becoming better friends with her
now im unsure about my feelings for her. i still think about her a ton but the feeling of beeing in love is almost completely gone. i still get it tough when i talk to her sometimes but. im not sure as to what i want to do. i really want to be with her even as a friend doesnt necesserally have to be as her boyfrriend or something but i just want to be close with her. And i know that im deffinitally not ready for a relationship atm.
so idk if i should just forget about her or still keep trying. tbh shes the only thing i care about right now

and if i still should keep trying.. i can hold conversations if shes actually trying or if she wants to talk to someone at that time too. but i cant seem to keep conversations going by myself i know i need to socialice but should i wait till i get better or continue talking
im really not sure about a lot of things

Im sorry if this was a bit unclear its weird for me telling this and i dont really know exactly what my opinions are.
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Old 01-12-2017, 02:43 PM
 
Location: Florida
23,173 posts, read 26,207,141 times
Reputation: 27914
In case this is a first time poster that actually stays around for replies...I seldom suggest professional therapy but most certainly do, in this case
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Old 01-12-2017, 03:37 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,595 posts, read 47,689,519 times
Reputation: 48281
Depressed and suicidal... yeah, therapy.
Spell check wouldn't hurt either!
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Old 01-12-2017, 03:44 PM
 
19,969 posts, read 30,232,757 times
Reputation: 40042
"what do i have to do to become your boyfriend/steady ????

then listen,,,she may critique you ....

at least you will know...


we all grow up and mature with heartaches.....


take a good look in the mirror if you had a daughter would you want her going out with you???

clean up your appearance....
get in shape..
work hard ...set goals

be kind,,,and be confident.... girls dont like a shrinking violet guy...they like confidence....
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Old 01-12-2017, 03:49 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,966,647 times
Reputation: 98359
It really sounds like you are still struggling with depression.

I do believe you should see a professional therapist.
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Old 01-12-2017, 04:25 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,534 posts, read 34,873,169 times
Reputation: 73802
Fixing any mental health, emotional or social problems come before dating.
__________________
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Old 01-12-2017, 04:34 PM
 
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
2,492 posts, read 3,031,890 times
Reputation: 3911
I recently dated a guy who had been committed to an institution for suicidal depression. He was out 6-7 months before we met. I didn't stigmatize it , hell I have a psychiatrist myself. However it started to become more evident that he needed way more therapy and time to heal before dating anyone. Do yourself a favor and don't invite heartbreak and stress into an already fragile exsistence.
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Old 01-13-2017, 08:00 AM
 
6 posts, read 2,867 times
Reputation: 15
I've tried therapy but it really isn't something for me
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Old 01-13-2017, 08:03 AM
 
6 posts, read 2,867 times
Reputation: 15
Its hard to keep a positive mindset tough, and im aware that dating isn't really an option for me atm.
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Old 01-13-2017, 08:31 AM
 
Location: Raleigh, North Carolina
2,148 posts, read 1,698,019 times
Reputation: 4186
Quote:
Originally Posted by pringleshotandspicy View Post
I've tried therapy but it really isn't something for me

Can you elaborate? What was it that was not working? Was it the counselor or did you just not like what you heard?
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