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Old 02-24-2017, 06:08 AM
 
24,541 posts, read 18,124,000 times
Reputation: 40231

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
With the declining marriage rates nowadays, I think the usage of the word "single" is changing. Instead of just meaning "never married", it now also means "not in a relationship". I know I use the word this way.
I'm the same. I assumed this thread was aligned with all the 40-year-old virgin threads that appear daily.

I can only speak for myself. I'd always prefer to be in a functional long term relationship. My lifetime problem is that they haven't ever lasted forever. It goes back to the pick properly and work at it every day. At 58, I may have had those life lessons beaten into me but I'm apparently a very slow learner.
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Old 02-24-2017, 06:15 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,883 posts, read 30,185,296 times
Reputation: 19077
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD View Post
I'm the same. I assumed this thread was aligned with all the 40-year-old virgin threads that appear daily.

I can only speak for myself. I'd always prefer to be in a functional long term relationship. My lifetime problem is that they haven't ever lasted forever. It goes back to the pick properly and work at it every day. At 58, I may have had those life lessons beaten into me but I'm apparently a very slow learner.
LOL, I was to, don't feel bad....
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Old 02-24-2017, 06:21 AM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,223,092 times
Reputation: 73924
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27 View Post
So he took her for granted and nothing else? That could've easily been worked out. As soon as any problem rises in a relationship people just want to bail instead of working things out. I call that the easy way out.
Spoken like someone who has no idea what they're talking about. When somebody shut you out, they have shut you out. When someone stops listening, they have stop listening. You can cry and shout and nag and beg and ask nicely and do a little dance, but it doesn't change anything.

I've never been divorced, but I've been in a long relationship have tried everything to have someone listen to me. It eats away at your soul.
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Old 02-24-2017, 06:24 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,883 posts, read 30,185,296 times
Reputation: 19077
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Spoken like someone who has no idea what they're talking about. When somebody shut you out, they have shut you out. When someone stops listening, they have stop listening. You can cry and shout and nag and beg and ask nicely and do a little dance, but it doesn't change anything.

I've never been divorced, but I've been in a long relationship have tried everything to have someone listen to me. It eats away at your soul.
and makes you feel very lonely and worthless....believe me, I know....
you can be with someone and feel the depth of loneliness like you've never before felt.
it's tough....

but I get what 49ersfan was referring to, Stan, there are a lot of people out there who give up way to quickly....marriage is an investment...of the heart, mind and soul...not to mention, financial. It shouldn't be taken lightly, is all 49ersfan was saying...but unfortunately it is. Didn't mean you. Just sayin
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Old 02-24-2017, 06:39 AM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,223,092 times
Reputation: 73924
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post

but I get what 49ersfan was referring to, Stan, there are a lot of people out there who give up way to quickly....marriage is an investment...of the heart, mind and soul...not to mention, financial. It shouldn't be taken lightly, is all 49ersfan was saying...but unfortunately it is. Didn't mean you. Just sayin
Oh, I totally know.
Totally.
First second there's conflict, and they just throw in the towel.
For some reason, I'm the kind of person everyone wants to confess to. And I've heard it all.
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Old 02-24-2017, 08:41 AM
 
63 posts, read 49,487 times
Reputation: 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
I don't know, if I love to talk about single life, however, I am so happy now, compared to when I was married...and that is what I love....
I know several women who have lost their hubby's to cancer and heart attack, and they all say, they would never marry again...doesn't mean they had a bad marriage, but, they do enjoy making their own decisions, going where they want when they want, and not having to take care of anyone but themselves.



Well, I'm single was in bad marriages, but still love men, not all men are terrible abusers....




I agree, marriage/relationships, no matter who they are with, is always a work in progress. But, if you have two compatible people, who love each other enough to care about the other person's happiness, and success, I believe it can be great.

Marriage, however, is not for me....I'm not bragging, its just that some people are so completely independent, they don't want marriage.

Human beings always try to put labels on others who live different than what society dictates to be normal....which is wrong...
There's a difference between talking about single life and bashing men and marriage.
A truly happily single person doesn't need to put down anyone.
I enjoy being married but I can't say that it was always smooth sailing.
As for labeling, I agree because people try to label me for having a traditional marriage.
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Old 02-24-2017, 02:49 PM
 
Location: Moreno Valley, Ca
4,038 posts, read 2,698,890 times
Reputation: 8479
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
When my sister got divorced from a man who checked out of their marriage and wasn't much of a husband she told me that she tried her best every day, but that she was 45 and couldn't imagine living 30 more years with a man who took her for granted. Do you think that because he didn't hit her or cheat that she should have sucked it up and been miserable for the rest of her life?

Of course that is what he means. How dare your sister want any happiness in life? She should have stayed married and not divorced for such a ridiculous reason.


My goodness, he is a bit narrow-minded.
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Old 02-24-2017, 03:08 PM
 
1,190 posts, read 1,023,284 times
Reputation: 1034
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
Short-term, yes if they are going through life changes or improving themselves to be a better person. Long-term, no. I've met people who say they're happy being single but their words and actions tells me differently. Meaning, they either complain about how lonely they are or drink as an escape to avoid dealing with their feelings.
Studies agree with you. It is especially difficult for those in middle age to live their life alone. We are social beings, this is contrary to our basic needs.

Married couples are happier than singles says new study | Daily Mail Online
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Old 02-24-2017, 03:43 PM
 
1,713 posts, read 1,102,555 times
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Who funded the research for those studies and what's their agenda? The Daily Mail isn't exactly a reputable news source either.

If I ever, and I do mean EVER, agreed to be part of a marriage or LTR, you'd have to put me on suicide watch the moment I regained sufficient wits to realise the depths of my folly.

'One of these days, my boy,' says my father as he peers condescendingly at me over the top of his glasses. 'You'll feel a gaping hole in your life.' Having thrice ambled down the aisle, he can't or won't accept that I'm as happy as can be on my own.

I turned forty last year and reached that milestone without even the whisper of a coupling. If and only if my thinking changes, I'll be too old and set in my ways to do anything about it. At least I hope so. The alternative would be disastrous even to contemplate.

Last edited by scribbles76; 02-24-2017 at 03:55 PM..
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Old 02-24-2017, 03:51 PM
 
708 posts, read 821,546 times
Reputation: 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by NancyDrew1 View Post
Studies agree with you. It is especially difficult for those in middle age to live their life alone. We are social beings, this is contrary to our basic needs.

Married couples are happier than singles says new study | Daily Mail Online

That does not change the fact that happiness can only come from within us, no one else. No one else can make you happy, they can only distract you from what is making you sad.

There is also a vested interest for those that influence hearts and minds to push the marriage agenda so I'd take that ''new study'' with a pinch of salt.
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