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I was being facetious. If pairing up is supposed to be this wonderful thing, why are so many bad relationships in the media? What are people trying to achieve by showing them?
To get ratings. A lot of people want to see you crash and burn.
But doesn't that go back to what someone said earlier about defining happiness? If someone's idea of happiness is "sharing" their life with someone, why do they feel the need to say "we are social creatures, it's unnatural not to"?
That person and others like him/her are the ones I contend with. Not that I will change their minds, I doubt that as much as I doubt they will change mine, but when you hear the disparaging comments (that's how I see them) and as someone else mentioned, the looking down upon and the feeling sorry for, I say stop.
That idea of happiness is not mine, and if I really wanted to start slinging mud, I would provide more examples of those I listed above, I believe a lot of the unhappy husband stereotypes are based in reality (as well as a lot of unhappy wife ones.)
If you are in a happy relationship, I am happy for you. But it definitely feels like religious proselytizing when 'not single' people make comments about how their way is the way, the truth, and the light.
I really don't care if people are single or in a relationship. Frankly, I think people who choose terrible relationships over being alone are weak. But it's none of my beeswax. I sure as heck have never suggested ANYONE needs to be in a relationship to be happy.
I just take issue with people who say they're not going to be in relationships because all relationships have this or that and it's all made up crap or stereotypes that really just refer to bad relationships.
It's as ludicrous as saying you hate hamburgers when all you've ever eaten is McDonald's. Or insisting no burger eater could truly be happy because all burgers are basically McDonald's burgers, so you just be better off never eating a burger.
There are all kinds of burgers just like there are all kinds of relationships.
Remember that you're not going to see or hear happy people going around being happy. Because happy people don't make noise. Whiny people who have problems make noise. So then you think everybody is unhappy because you only hear the subset who whine and complain.
I was single for many years and enjoyed the single life very much. I never imagined that it would happen, but love found me again. Now I'm married and it has given me the experience of being completely and utterly loved, and being able to love someone in return. I would never say "no thanks" to love, who would?
But if I ever find myself single again, I feel certain that I'll remain single and enjoy life as best as I can with the time that I have left. But I have to say that given the choice, I would choose to love and be loved. There's really nothing better, or more worthwhile, in my opinion.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,733,093 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish
I was single for many years and enjoyed the single life very much. I never imagined that it would happen, but love found me again. Now I'm married and it has given me the experience of being completely and utterly loved, and being able to love someone in return. I would never say "no thanks" to love, who would?
But if I ever find myself single again, I feel certain that I'll remain single and enjoy life as best as I can with the time that I have left. But I have to say that given the choice, I would choose to love and be loved. There's really nothing better, or more worthwhile, in my opinion.
If it isn't convenient for me, I have no problem telling love to itself. There may be a situation where I have to choose between love and happiness for myself. I'm going to choose happiness over love because I tend to be super selfish.
If it isn't convenient for me, I have no problem telling love to itself. There may be a situation where I have to choose between love and happiness for myself. I'm going to choose happiness over love because I tend to be super selfish.
That's your perogative. I know for me, happiness is fleeting and hard to find in acts selfishness. It's acts of service to others that bring me the greatest joy. YMMV.
That's your perogative. I know for me, happiness is fleeting and hard to find in acts selfishness. It's acts of service to others that bring me the greatest joy. YMMV.
I'm plenty unselfish. I visit elderly family members a few times a month. I volunteer at a food packing warehouse and at a pet shelter. I drop everything and drive to help a family member or friend in an emergency. But when dealing with people directly, you have to look out for yourself; no one else will do it for you. Especially in today's relationships, an institution not created with men in mind, even though they do benefit somewhat from it.
If people viewed freedom back in 1776 the way they view relationships today, we'd still wash our hands from separate hot/cold taps, and have our goods delivered by a lorry on the left side of the road. I find it ironic that we as a country fought tooth and nail to kick out British, yet we capitulate our personal independence to "ye olde relationshippe".
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 02-27-2017 at 08:52 PM..
Me. Why complicate my life any more than I have to by making room for someone else in it? Too drastic an adjustment for me to deal with, especially when it wouldn't last.
I was single for many years and enjoyed the single life very much. I never imagined that it would happen, but love found me again. Now I'm married and it has given me the experience of being completely and utterly loved, and being able to love someone in return. I would never say "no thanks" to love, who would?
But if I ever find myself single again, I feel certain that I'll remain single and enjoy life as best as I can with the time that I have left. But I have to say that given the choice, I would choose to love and be loved. There's really nothing better, or more worthwhile, in my opinion.
Of course I am open to falling in love again in the upcoming future. The woman would have to be very special though.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,733,093 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish
That's your perogative. I know for me, happiness is fleeting and hard to find in acts selfishness. It's acts of service to others that bring me the greatest joy. YMMV.
Acts of service don't really do it for me. I went to take care of my mother in another state last week due to some health issues. I felt a lot of crap helming her, but joy wasn't anywhere in the equation. Now of course I did it because it was the right thing to do and I'm glad she is okay now, but I serve because people think I'm a stand up guy and that is what stand up men do. No joy anywhere around that.
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itself. There may be a situation where I have to choose between love and happiness for myself. I'm going to choose happiness over love because I tend to be super selfish.
