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There's people who are single because they can't attract anyone, or anyone they'd want. These are unlikely to be happy about being single.
There's people who are single by choice because either they've had bad relationships, or they've just go no desire to be in a relationship, whether it be due to past experience or by virtue of you don't miss what you've never had.
Other people are just better off on their own and aren't cut out to be in a proper relationship.
There's a lot of people who jump from bad relationship to another, or just stay in a bad one, because they're afraid of being single or alone, whether it be peer/social pressure or just don't like being on their own.
First and foremost everyone should be able to enjoy their own company. I know a lot of people in relationships who cherish when they get a bit of time away from their spouse and/or kids just for the peace and quiet and precious time to themselves, as much as they love the spouse and kids.
Personally i'd rather be single, although if I met the girl of my dreams i'd happy re-evaluate but I don't expect that to happen and i'd never just be in a relationship for the sake of it. Among my friends I never need to explain myself for that and you shouldn't with your friends. It's annoying when work colleagues or family start prying into your relationship status and why you're single and i'm made to feel like an ogre at times. As a naturally shy/introverted type of person it's very difficult for a man anyway attracting women.
I find it ironic that the main people who try to pressure you into being in a relationship are the main ones who have gotten divorced multiple times or have kids and don't know where the mom or dad is. These are the last people I'd take advice from seeing as they suck at choosing partners anyways.
It wasn't my friends personally; as individuals, they still treat me with the same respect they did before settling down. But the collective conscious of the group has changed. The group as a unit---all couples plus me---seems to look down on single men (but not so much single women) over 30. No one says anything, but when everyone hangs out together, I can feel it. Very much.
Thank you for taking the time to answer my question. I totally get you when you describe what it feels like being a single male in a sea of married/long term relationship couples. There is that vibe.
Thank you for taking the time to answer my question. I totally get you when you describe what it feels like being a single male in a sea of married/long term relationship couples. There is that vibe.
This raises the question: Why are single women in a sea of couples viewed as 100% normal, while single men are viewed as "less than"?
I know it's due to a double standard: single men are bad, and single women are good. But why else?
I never thought people viewed me as less than, but they definitely think I'm "unusual."
I'm a woman.
Therein lies the rub. A single woman among couples may be thought of as "unusual", but she'll still get the same respect as a couple. A single man will not.
Are you really and truly being disrespected, though? You seem to have a chip on your shoulder about being single which you could be projecting on your interactions with your coupled friends.
Are you really and truly being disrespected, though? You seem to have a chip on your shoulder about being single which you could be projecting on your interactions with your coupled friends.
They have enough decency to not say anything out loud or to my face, at least. And maybe it's not disrespect; it's... I don't know. One thing for sure: I refuse to settle down. I've seen what kinds of relationships exist, and I want no part of it. But down the downside is that it's killing my social status in my long-time group. And it wouldn't be fair to the woman I'm with, if I use her solely to boost my status; forget the sex.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 03-06-2017 at 05:45 PM..
Therein lies the rub. A single woman among couples may be thought of as "unusual", but she'll still get the same respect as a couple. A single man will not.
This matches my experience maybe 2% of the time, so I do think it's very much a factor of the company one keeps.
When I chose to care about such things, a long time ago, I'll ashamedly admit I usually thought single women were probably cuckoo way more often than single men.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
I find it ironic that the main people who try to pressure you into being in a relationship are the main ones who have gotten divorced multiple times or have kids and don't know where the mom or dad is. These are the last people I'd take advice from seeing as they suck at choosing partners anyways.
Dude, you described my mom to a T. Been divorced multiple times but is worried that I haven't had a girlfriend being close to 30. I just want to say "you are no one to talk about a dating life" to her.
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