Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
People who see each other all the time get on each others nerves.
I am semi retired and work 20 hours a week. Why to I work? Not really for the money but to get away from my wife! My wife also works about 20 hours a week in semi retirement. Why? To get away from me!
We had a great marriage until we retired and moved into a smaller home. Then all hell broke loose. Back when both of us worked 50 hours a week, we only saw each other for a few hours in the evening and on weekends. And on weekends we were off with friends and family doing things.
Moving into a smaller home was also a mistake. I use to go down stairs in the finished basement and watch TV, read and play with the computer. My man cave. Now my wife and I are in one small apartment home and always within 20 feet of each other. We can't escape each other at home.
(I know people will reply and said we must have a bad marriage if we want to escape from each other) So?
Take up an outdoor hobby she wouldn't be interested in?
When I was married, and felt suffocated, Id load up my boat and go fishing, or go for a long 20 mile run - depending how long I want to be away. Its never too long, because sleeping on my boat isn't as comfortable as sleeping in my bed, and after running i just want to come home shower/eat.
I'm sorry this is the state you two find yourself in.
It may not be that your marriage was bad but just that you weren't together enough to have really gotten to know each other.
My husband and I has spent more time together than most so retirement did not make a difference and, in fact, brought us even closer together.
The ordinary time apart , such as what Hawaiian mentioned and even 'mental alone time'...me engrossed in a book,him in the same room watching TV, for example, was enough even with the smaller house to not be up each others butt 24/7
I look forward to coming home to be with her all day long. With my last long term girlfriend, I liked my alone time more and it was one of the reasons that caused me to lose her in the end.
I do like a little alone time and I need one hour a day to ride my bike (stationary bike) which I'm fine with her being in the room with me for. It's not like I need to concentrate and can't listen, just need an hour to be on the bike and not sitting on the couch. And when my favorite hockey team is playing, I watch every game live. We can talk while the game is on, that's fine. But don't ask me to watch something else or do any activities for those 2.5 hours. There's 3 TV's in the house so we can watch different things if want.
I had that same rule when I lived with male roommates too. They were more than welcome to watch the games with me but when they're on, I watch them and that's what I'm doing. Other than that, I really love being glued to her.
Hey, one poet said it best: Be apart in your togetherness.
Part of it is being in close quarters all the time. The other is not having enough to fill up the time. Find things to do on your own, and find a mutually enjoyable pursuit to do together, rather than bother your spouse all the time.
I think it's just a matter of personal tastes. I know that when I retire, our marriage won't have struggles. We love spending time together doing all kinds of stuff (we're both Disney fanatics, so we go at least once a month now). Disney, casinos, window shopping, computer games, movies, hobbies/crafts - we have a wide variety of interests that we either share or do separately even if in the same room.
I'm retired and my husband is not, but his business is right beside our house. There are times when I don't want to deal with him and vice versa. So we have an arrangement where we have scheduled times of the day for each other and other times for ourselves. It works very well for us and we have a great relationship.
We used to drive together to work every day for 16 years and the drive was an hour each way.
While we are home, sometimes we'll do things together, but it's important that we have our own hobbies and interests.
Do you have to be in a small apartment home? Could you upgrade to a larger apartment? Maybe it's time to join some groups to find time to do YOUR thing.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
