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So ... back up a bit. No you do not have to ONLY date girls you know well (i.e. friends), however, you SHOULD try to get to know a little something about a girl before you ask her out. You don't want to commit to a date with a pretty girl just from looking at her. Try to talk to her a bit and see if she can even complete a sentence.
That's sort of how I do it with OLD. I see how they hold a conversation and how they type. If everything is going smoothly and well, and the convo's fun, I ask them out.
Same thing as in IRL. I see how they talk and hold a conversation. If all's going well, and I'm attracted to them enough, then I ask them out. If not, I don't.
Or maybe try talking to girls online , less face to face pressure ?
It's better to meet women in real life. On dating sites, there could be too many flakes that will try to send you links to p***n (If I get any sort of link, I stay away). Some guy from Russia could copy a pic of a hot girl from the net and create a fake profile. That's been my experiences with sites/apps like Tinder, POF, OkCupid, etc...
If you want to learn how to pick up girls, there's tons of videos on youtube and you won't have to spend $$$ going to dating seminars.
It's better to meet women in real life. On dating sites, there could be too many flakes that will try to send you links to p***n (If I get any sort of link, I stay away). Some guy from Russia could copy a pic of a hot girl from the net and create a fake profile. That's been my experiences with sites/apps like Tinder, POF, OkCupid, etc...
If you want to learn how to pick up girls, there's tons of videos on youtube and you won't have to spend $$$ going to dating seminars.
Really? Cause I've never had that issue at all. It's easy to filter out the spam bots and fakes from the legit/real ones. I've met plenty of women for dates off online dating apps/sites.
The trick is asking to meet as soon as possible. If they constantly resist, or ignore you, then you know where you stand (they're either fake, or not serious about meeting someone).
Sounds like it's mainly guys who need training from their family, Dad or brother, women don't get the training Because they have guys doing the work for them, with all of the attention they get from guys and all the guys approaching them they start to see a pattern over the years and start to learn how to screen and filter them out
Seriously? All what attention they get from guys? All what guys approaching them? You sound like the kind of guy who went through HS without even knowing the shy girls and nerdy girls existed. You only focused on the popular girls, and wasted your time wishing you could "get" one, probably.
Just be confident and talk to them. But make little jokes and you have to tease her a bit. The problem is you think about it too much. Just relax. Girls are people just like you. They also feel anxious as well. Almost everyone feels insecure at 18.
Yeah that's another problem I never really learned or knew how to tease or flirt, I'm only capable of having regular friendly platonic conversation or regular conversation, small-talk, etc.
Your revulsion to women is likely what is impeding your success in dating them.
Yeah I noticed for a while now if a woman has feelings of resentment towards men, bitter feelings, there will be some guys out there who will Overlook that and give her a chance but if a guy is like that towards women then his chances are destroyed, well it's easy to feel that way when you have strong resentment towards the gender role that guys have to be the initiators
@Wmsn4Life Good point. You simply cannot run out of options to talk if you use the environment. May it be in the gym, at the school, in public, you will have always something to talk about if you use the environment. Then, if I see they don't just plainly ignore me and answer back, I can continue the conversation and eventually ask other things then the environment. But in fact that is a bloody good idea from you, thank you! I shall fail when I try first - but without failure there is no success. I will fail the first time when I try, and maybe blame myself, but I am ready for this. I will face my biggest enemy - fear. Even if I sweat, get red, speak not clear, stammer, that is not the end. Experience HAS to be gained - it cannot be bought, isn't it?
And, I really do not intend to go into dating sites. They may be good, but I'd like to do it IRL as well. IRL doing simply improves my confidence, and I would have less "opponents", since most lads these days go onto dating sites in order to meet a women.
And, I really do not intend to go into dating sites. They may be good, but I'd like to do it IRL as well. IRL doing simply improves my confidence, and I would have less "opponents", since most lads these days go onto dating sites in order to meet a women.
Dating sites should not even be on your radar right now because you eventually will need to speak to those women in person, and you can't do that yet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoyalGeneral
I shall fail when I try first - but without failure there is no success. I will fail the first time when I try, and maybe blame myself, but I am ready for this. I will face my biggest enemy - fear. Even if I sweat, get red, speak not clear, stammer, that is not the end. Experience HAS to be gained - it cannot be bought, isn't it?
I get that you're just trying to motivate yourself, but it feels like you're more likely psyching yourself out instead.
Stop making a federal case out of it and just talk to people. Making what should be a casual interaction into a "do or die but still we try!!" battle cry is just going to make you come off like a nervous weirdo in front of people.
Dating sites should not even be on your radar right now because you eventually will need to speak to those women in person, and you can't do that yet.
I get that you're just trying to motivate yourself, but it feels like you're more likely psyching yourself out instead.
Stop making a federal case out of it and just talk to people. Making what should be a casual interaction into a "do or die but still we try!!" battle cry is just going to make you come off like a nervous weirdo in front of people.
Just take a breath and calm down.
I guess for are right. I was just trying to motivating myself.
I should stop making a federal case about it (good word there, rarely used in Britain) and just talk to people. Just talk. I mean though, I cannot avoid being nervous for the first time....
And yes. Even if I managed to speak to women in general, why shall I bother with dating sites? Just a waste of time IMO. IRL is more promising.
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