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The main problem seems to be that you're having sex without intimacy, and you can't reconcile your feelings with the dearth of information you have about his feelings.
You complained before that he doesn't kiss you after sex. Now he did it and it wasn't good either. WTF?
The issue is that she wants more of a traditional relationship, and in her gut, he's not going to give her that. She knows what the situation is; however, is having difficulty with swallowing her feelings and accepting the arrangement. I don't think the guy is interested in her more than an FWB. He has likely has too much on his plate to offer anything more than some bedroom frustration release. The OP doesn't just want sex, but doesn't want to give him up either. She may even have a desire to wait it out and slowly try to fix him and mold him into what she's looking for. She's not the first woman to do that and she won't be the last.
The issue is that she wants more of a traditional relationship, and in her gut, he's not going to give her that. She knows what the situation is; however, is having difficulty with swallowing her feelings and accepting the arrangement. I don't think the guy is interested in her more than an FWB. He has likely has too much on his plate to offer anything more than some bedroom frustration release. The OP doesn't just want sex, but doesn't want to give him up either. She may even have a desire to wait it out and slowly try to fix him and mold him into what she's looking for. She's not the first woman to do that and she won't be the last.
That could be true (that she's just a FWB), but it could be just as true that the guy was serious when he said he was looking for more. He's coming to the end of writing a dissertation and they've only been dating a few weeks. He may see them as casually dating and seeing were it leads.
Either way, the OP just refuses to tell the guy how she feels and why then see how he reacts. Dude has no idea she's reading his every move for the secret squirrel signs. LOL
But I already told him I wasn't looking for anything casual. And he is done btw with his dissertation. Now, he is applying for a new position (full time job) and is in the process of interviewing.
As I said, depends how I feel and what he suggests for next date. I might or might not accept it.
That could be true (that she's just a FWB), but it could be just as true that the guy was serious when he said he was looking for more. He's coming to the end of writing a dissertation and they've only been dating a few weeks. He may see them as casually dating and seeing were it leads.
Either way, the OP just refuses to tell the guy how she feels and why then see how he reacts. Dude has no idea she's reading his every move for the secret squirrel signs. LOL
Of course. Why risk something when it's not all bad? I mean, she is getting sex that she enjoys (somewhat sarcastic). I think we've all been here before. Knowing we want more, but unsure if the person can, or is unwilling, to give us that. You're also afraid of communicating your wants, because you already feel you're on some rather shaky ground with the person. You're in that I'm not so sure stage, to where you feel one false move can jeopardize the whole situation. It's a tough spot to be in.
Of course. Why risk something when it's not all bad? I mean, she is getting sex that she enjoys (somewhat sarcastic). I think we've all been here before. Knowing we want more, but unsure if the person can, or is unwilling, to give us that. You're also afraid of communicating your wants, because you already feel you're on some rather shaky ground with the person. You're in that I'm not so sure stage, to where you feel one false move can jeopardize the whole situation. It's a tough spot to be in.
It is not at all like that. Yes, I am unsure about what he wants. Actually, I think he wants fwb situation. However, the reason I am not communicating is because I have already brought it up and got the answer. So what would be different this time? He will say he enjoys spending time with me and hopes for more. Yeah right. I wont believe it because his actions dont really communicate that.
If you remeber, I already left once, and this time I approached the whole situation with caution. It won't be much more difficult to walk away again. The reason I am staying is that he is nice, treats me well when we are together, and I have a little hope he might really want something more. How longer am I going to put up with that? Not sure. I might also talk to him (in person this time) and walk away or just be fed up and text him.
But I already told him I wasn't looking for anything casual. And he is done btw with his dissertation. Now, he is applying for a new position (full time job) and is in the process of interviewing.
As I said, depends how I feel and what he suggests for next date. I might or might not accept it.
You told him you didn't want casual, but you didn't tell him what you see as clear signs he's serious. He doesn't know he's being judged harshly and why.
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84
Of course. Why risk something when it's not all bad? I mean, she is getting sex that she enjoys (somewhat sarcastic). I think we've all been here before. Knowing we want more, but unsure if the person can, or is unwilling, to give us that. You're also afraid of communicating your wants, because you already feel you're on some rather shaky ground with the person. You're in that I'm not so sure stage, to where you feel one false move can jeopardize the whole situation. It's a tough spot to be in.
... just like he might stay as-is or he might profess his love. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
At some point, one of y'all is gonna have to say SOMETHING.
Hahahaha "profess his love." I am afraid he will give me the same answer as before (the answer I want to hear). I would rather see his actions first (this time) and decide what I want.
Being willing to take whatever you get and hoping that it might change is not something any good relationship should consist of.
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