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He got sex with pretty much no investment in you... seems like he doesn't need any more investment to have sex and like to see if there is any mileage left before finding someone else that required more investment for something long term... in other words, he is using you but you can't blame him because it was a bit too easy..
We do talk before and after sex. We also watch movies or get food at his apartment.
We stayed longer in bed in the morning just talking and spent 3 hours talking at the breakfast place (last time we had sex). He also kisses me a lot when in bed (head, cheek and hand kisses and regular too,lol). But we never kissed outside of his apartment.
Our convdrsation in general are very good. I rarely connect with people (and cant talk to new people) but with him, I never had that problem. We could talk fo hours...
That's a great sign.
Honestly, it sounds like you're jumping the gun.
I'm not convinced that he's using you. Just let things ride for a while. Show him how you want to be treated. If you want more contact, contact him. Not in a scolding or expectant way but just with genuine care and interest.
As you spend more time together, assuming you want to, you will be able to tell him something like, "I really miss you during the week. I would love to text or call more if you're into that." And his answer will tell you a lot, either "Yeah I'm not a great texter but I can ____" or "Great! I didn't want to be pushy!!" Or "I would rather keep my weeks to myself," at which point you can decide if that works for you, or whatever.
Right now, you guys skipped a few "physical" steps and you need to make up some mental/emotional ground.
No, my question was if it is possible that he was honest when he asked for another chance. Is he really looking for a relationship or only wants to continue the situation where he gets casual sex. The lack of communication in between dates bothers me.
You haven't asked him yet? Why are you asking us?
OP, you complain about there not being enough communication with him, yet you continue to fail to communicate your most important concerns with him.
He's having long talks with you and initiating get togethers. Conversations flow easy. He treats you intimately before, after and during sex. You asked him if he was looking for something serious and he said yes.
OP, there doesn't seem to be a problem here other than you want more between-dates conversation.
The problem here is you EXPECT him to do particular things and keep assigning negative meaning when he doesn't, AS IF THESE ARE THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW. But, people are different. It is perfectly possible he thinks he's showing how much he takes you seriously. If I was dating this guy, I'd think he was really into me. He has a job and is writing a dissertation, I would not expect a lot of daily texts. I mean it's only been maybe a month?
You need to tell the guy what you need to feel wanted. Let him step up or not. But you can't keep being passive aggressive about it. It's not fair.
Met a guy online. Went on two dates. In between dates, we rarely kept in touch, knly to set up and confirm time and location (done by him). Third date he asked me over to watch a movie. We ended up having sex. When I was leaving in the morning he gave me a book that I really liked. Again, he kept in touch but not every day. He also set up the next date and I went over again to his place. Had breakfast in the morning. Few days afterwards, I asked him (via text) what he was looking for. He said he thinks there was chemistry between us, so we should see where it goes. And he also said he wasnt looking for anything casual. When I didnt hear from him in the next two days, I ended things. Two weeks later, he contacts me, apologizes for being distant and not keeping in touch (he is working on his PhD paper) and asks me if I wpuld give him another chance and have dinner with him.
Is it possible he is honest and want something serious? Should I go out with him?
Additional info:
On the first date, he got the check (well I let him walk to the bar and pay for the two drinks we had). It was really a cheap date and I didnt chase him to split the bill.
The second one, he asked me out and picked the restaurant. The bill was about 100$ and we split it. I have heard when the guy lets you split the bill this early he just doesnt care how you see him, because he is not that intrested. Then he asked me over to go to his place on the third date. (another red flag?) Also both times we had sex, and I was leaving his place, he would only give me a peck on the cheek.
All of these, with the minimal contact in between dates made me think he is not that intrested.
Now, he wants to try again....
Two days was a little harsh. I'd give him a chance. Maybe try not to have sex this time.
He's having long talks with you and initiating get togethers. Conversations flow easy. He treats you intimately before, after and during sex. You asked him if he was looking for something serious and he said yes.
OP, there doesn't seem to be a problem here other than you want more between-dates conversation.
The problem here is you EXPECT him to do particular things and keep assigning negative meaning when he doesn't, AS IF THESE ARE THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW. But, people are different. It is perfectly possible he thinks he's showing how much he takes you seriously. If I was dating this guy, I'd think he was really into me. He has a job and is writing a dissertation, I would not expect a lot of daily texts. I mean it's only been maybe a month?
You need to tell the guy what you need to feel wanted. Let him step up or not. But you can't keep being passive aggressive about it. It's not fair.
Have you tried calling or texting him in between dates to initiate an actual conversation and if you have what was his response like?
He seems like he's into you but maybe he's just not a big phone person. I think you're not really into him though. It feels like you're just looking for an excuse to dump him. And ghosting is petty and cowardly. If you don't want to see him anymore just be a grown up and tell him.
Anyway, I wish people would stop s&#t shaming on here. So she slept with him on the third date, big deal.
Have you tried calling or texting him in between dates to initiate an actual conversation and if you have what was his response like?
He seems like he's into you but maybe he's just not a big phone person. I think you're not really into him though. It feels like you're just looking for an excuse to dump him. And ghosting is petty and cowardly. If you don't want to see him anymore just be a grown up and tell him.
Anyway, I wish people would stop s&#t shaming on here. So she slept with him on the third date, big deal.
I think I initiated only once (during the first two weeks). He replied within 10 min and I believe he tried to see me that evening but I had to work. And we set up something for the weekend. And I initiated whwn I asked him "what he was looking for."
I dont know if it matters but he is new to town and sometimes I feel he also might be lonely and just needs a company. Just a thought.
I think I initiated only once (during the first two weeks). He replied within 10 min and I believe he tried to see me that evening but I had to work. And we set up something for the weekend. And I initiated whwn I asked him "what he was looking for."
I dont know if it matters but he is new to town and sometimes I feel he also might be lonely and just needs a company. Just a thought.
You're expecting all this communication and you don't even initiate often
You're expecting all this communication and you don't even initiate often
Keep in mind that it was only two weeks and he initiated every second or even third day. So he didnt do as much work either.
When he asked for another chance, I told him I would be free the following week (which was 7 days away) and never initiated during this time.
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