Ladies of CD -- have you dated/married a 'less attractive' partner? (husband, older)
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For me, just because someone is traditionally good looking doesn't mean I'll be attracted to them. I dated a guy for about six months who wasn't conventionally attractive at all, but we had crazy chemistry and he was the one who decided not to keep dating. My ex husband was average at best in the looks department and I never felt all that attracted to him to be honest...just one of many problems in our relationship. He didn't treat me all that well and I think that was a huge part of it. It's hard to be attracted to someone when they make you feel like crap. My current beau and I are about equal in the looks department. I think he's incredibly handsome and we have a lot of chemistry!
I agree with another poster that you shouldn't assume because you're better looking than the guy that he'll treat you nice or appreciate you more than anyone else. In my dating experiences, how attractive the other person was didn't seem to have anything to do with how they treated me. And even though I get where you're coming from, it seems arrogant to me to target less attractive guys like you're doing them a favor giving them a chance with someone better looking than them. I don't think you're coming from a mean place in your post, but that is how it might feel to the guy you go after.
And to a lot of people, this is unrealistic for whatever reason. I'm the exact same way. I can't tell you how many times I was bombarded with, "I've been understanding, kind, I offer you things, I have this, and I have that. Why don't you like me?"
Sounds like a stereotypical NiceGuy(R) mindset. The old "give kindness, get romance" cliche.
As I got older, I even found myself on the receiving end of the cliche on a few occasions. Namely, a woman I'm not attracted to for whatever reason---like not my physical type, too much of a homebody, or wants kids---would show interest in me, and I'd turn her down; either by honesty or by ghosting. It's something I viewed as unthinkable ten years ago. Of course, that was also before I developed an intense aversion to relationships altogether, but I digress.
Both men and women get told the same thing regarding trying to date others who may not necessarily be their cup of tea. You have to do what works for you. If you're able to date someone you don't find all that attractive and you're sure that you can be in a long-term relationship with them then go for it.
Some people begin to find others who they originally considered not so attractive, to be more attractive, after becoming more acquainted and getting to know them/their personality better. To each their own. I personally have an extremely hard time bending when it comes to physical attraction. It just doesn't work. Something is either there or it's not. You can't force it, and just as I want someone who is 100% into me, others deserve someone who is 100% into them.
Sorry for missing a few posts where I'm mentioned , I really would like to say thank you to you all for your kind words about me and am touched by them
MP: YES!!!! Great memory .... I remember my shock LOL! when you mentioned you like Benedict cumberbatch. In terms of British actors I usually hear the usual Tom hardy, Jason statham and Jude law etc.. ( All Londoners btw lmao ) but never Benedict cumberbatch so yes completely agree attractiveness is subjective
Any guy I've dated for his *personality* eventually just got on my nerves, like an annoying brother.. And I don't take crap from men I don't wanna sleep with- lol.
Sex is a big deal to me so mutual attraction reeeally has to be there to keep me interested and in check.. Otherwise, I'm out and I'm probably lining up my other options already..lol
Sorry for missing a few posts where I'm mentioned , I really would like to say thank you to you all for your kind words about me and am touched by them
MP: YES!!!! Great memory .... I remember my shock LOL! when you mentioned you like Benedict cumberbatch. In terms of British actors I usually hear the usual Tom hardy, Jason statham and Jude law etc.. ( All Londoners btw lmao ) but never Benedict cumberbatch so yes completely agree attractiveness is subjective
Benedict is...ok. For British actors, I'm partial to Ben Barnes and Alex Pettyfer (although I hear he's a jerk).
We would see if it's the same on a date. Don't' be daft.
I'm not one of those guys that take a woman's word as gospel. That is because I am a man that owns this game.
Your words aren't crap to someone like me. It's called dominance, and all my women know it.
You say, "a smart woman knows whether it's game or not", and I actually agree. I think that it is cringeworthy when guys go out "gaming" women. And they do it because they are trying to protect themselves. That is something that I am well over.
And if you haven't heard me talk about a man's insecurities, then you aren't paying attention. I always talk about that.
In my own life, I'm more important than anybody. That includes the women that I am seeing. That includes anyone.
To think that any woman is the "only one", I ask why? Actually answer that with any logic. The skills that I used to get you are just as easily applied to others, and the natural masculine frame is to go after multiple women.
Just what are you on about? Be specific, and I'll deal with you.
You are funny. Welcome to City data.
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.... I remember my shock LOL! when you mentioned you like Benedict cumberbatch. In terms of British actors I usually hear the usual Tom hardy, Jason statham and Jude law etc.. ( All Londoners btw 
lmao ) but never Benedict cumberbatch so yes completely agree attractiveness is subjective 
