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So I met this girl at a function and we talked for a while. I asked her for her number, got it, and said "maybe we can meet up for coffee or dinner sometime" and she nodded responded "I'm sure I'll see you at these events in the future"
Question 1: Was I too forward?
Question 2: Should I go ahead and text her to get together?
Question 3: Dinner or coffee?
Question 4: How long do I wait to text her? I met her this evening.
Thanks in advance!
No you did great! Men need to be confident and assertive irregardless the outcome.
Yep text her to see if she'd like to get together for coffee not dinner.. save that for later. keep it casual.
Wait a day or two and then text her.
Of course don't text again until (if ever) she texts back. Don't expect a response, and don't wait around for one. Move onto the next one.
So I met this girl at a function and we talked for a while. I asked her for her number, got it, and said "maybe we can meet up for coffee or dinner sometime" and she nodded responded "I'm sure I'll see you at these events in the future"
You blew it by being so vague, i.e., "maybe we can...sometime."
Women don't respond well to that. They much prefer directness -- at least that has been the case in my experience.
Her answer was the only possible one she could offer, as there was nothing to say yes or no to -- you did not define where and when you wanted to meet for coffee or anything else. She will not do all the work for you.
Had you told her a specific time and place, the outcome would likely have been different.
I appreciate your advice and the advice of everyone on here, you all are really great people.
I ended up texting her at 3 p.m. EST. time yesterday (I said how nice it was to meet her and if she was free for coffee next week) and as of 11:30 a.m. EST. this morning, I have not heard back from her. Unfortunately, it seems that she is obviously not interested. I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed, because I am very disappointed, but this is outside of my control.
Then why would she give the OP her phone number? I think that's an opening.
GO for it!
Because a) she didn't want to be rude, and b) she knew she could always screen her calls, and not respond when the caller ID showed it was him, and c) she may have been a little interested, but not THAT interested. Yet.
OTOH, Mir86 could be right on the money. Maybe she was never interested, but didn't want to be confrontational about the phone number.
Unfortunately, it seems that she is obviously not interested. I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed, because I am very disappointed, but this is outside of my control.
Thank you all again.
You put yourself out there perfectly without accidently stepping on yourself in the process, so well done IMO. There's no way that most men could have honestly deciphered what in the hell she's intending by giving her number and making the statement about seeing you at future events. You'll have many more scenarios similar to that.....about 40-60% of which you will succeed if you continue to take risks.
If you, in fact see her again at some future work event....... full ignore.
Because a) she didn't want to be rude, and b) she knew she could always screen her calls, and not respond when the caller ID showed it was him, and c) she may have been a little interested, but not THAT interested. Yet.
OTOH, Mir86 could be right on the money. Maybe she was never interested, but didn't want to be confrontational about the phone number.
My answer could have saved a 4 page thread lol. At the most, he should've called later to see if maybe she's an exception to the rule..but likely she isn't.
Props to the OP for putting himself out there though! most men don't. Eventually someone will say yes.
I'm in this woman's shoes many times. I wouldn't be comfortable to go out with a man unless I know him well. Even she's interested in you, she would want to get to know you better before going out with you. Giving out her phone is a good sign. Keep email her, and ask good questions so both of you get to know each other more. Then call (do not text) to ask if she would like to go to lunch with you sometimes. If she said yes, ask her what day(s) this week or next week will she be available for lunch. When you get the day/time, pick a few places close to her work if weekday, then email her the links for her to choose from, then go from there. Insist pay for the lunch so at least you give the vibe that it's a date, that you're not just interested in her as just a colleague.
I read your answer and disagree (maybe not on the pages and pages though).
I've been in his scenario a time or ten, have taken the same risks......... and many, like you have used that play to get me politely out of the way. However, more than a few I've ended up in some form of uh, "relations with" ()...none of which, would have occured without me having some initial hope.
So, no.......not all women who give out their phone numbers in conjunction with random, open ended statements like that are "push aways". Quite the contrary.....once he has some practice.
My answer could have saved a 4 page thread lol. At the most, he should've called later to see if maybe she's an exception to the rule..but likely she isn't.
Props to the OP for putting himself out there though! most men don't. Eventually someone will say yes.
Absolutely! Don't let this put a damper on your putting-yourself-out-there, OP!
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nut4sweets
I'm in this woman's shoes many times. I wouldn't be comfortable to go out with a man unless I know him well. Even she's interested in you, she would want to get to know you better before going out with you. Giving out her phone is a good sign. Keep email her, and ask good questions so both of you get to know each other more. Then call (do not text) to ask if she would like to go to lunch with you sometimes. If she said yes, ask her what day(s) this week or next week will she be available for lunch. When you get the day/time, pick a few places close to her work if weekday, then email her the links for her to choose from, then go from there. Insist pay for the lunch so at least you give the vibe that it's a date, that you're not just interested in her as just a colleague.
Isn't that the point of going out on the date? Dates are for getting to know a person while doing activities that are mutually enjoyable in my book. But I'm just a woman who actually dates , so what would I know?
Oh Bluegrass guy you need to come to the IBMA in Raleigh NC.
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There's no way that most men could have honestly deciphered what in the hell she's intending by giving her number and making the statement about seeing you at future events. You'll have many more scenarios similar to that.....about 40-60% of which you will succeed if you continue to take risks. 
)...none of which, would have occured without me having some initial hope.
