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No, I'm not here to just argue, I'm just trying to get a more detailed answer than "that's just what works for some people" I understand that, I'm more interested in why than just "it works"
There are as many different reasons as there are couples. What works for some doesn't work for others. It really is a pretty simple concept.
My former wife and I had a passel of children. We both wanted her to be a SAHM. Besides, the cost of child care was more than she would likely have earned. It worked for us!
Well, if the SAH partner not "working" means that the spouse that has a real job never has to do laundry, vacuum, grocery shopping, food prep and cleanup, take a day off to wait for a plumber, and spend their entire weekend catching up on chores, is there no value in that?
I'll bite. My brother and sister-in-law both had Ph.D.'s soon after they married. My sister-in-law just happened to be the first to get a high paying job. They began having kids and my sister-in-law's high profile job required her to travel the world, much of the time. Rather than pay a stranger to watch their kids, with a mom who is frequently gone, they agreed it would be better for their kids if my brother stayed at home and raised them, while she worked. She made plenty of money and that was their decision. The kids are now grown, all well adjusted and independent and my brother (after 12 years of being a stay at home dad), now works full time as well. That is what worked for them.
I never said I was entitled to anything. I'm just here asking a question, because it's something I just can't wrap my head around. Also, if you just do something without being able to list good reasons for it, maybe you should rethink what you're doing. I can give you reasons for all of the decisions I make.
It's not that you're asking the question- it was the way in which it was asked.
I could give you many reasons right now, but I won't because I expect that it will not be "good enough" for you. It's not something that you need to "wrap your head around".
I think kids are a HUGE reason some parents stay HOME. Day care is expensive and compounded when you have more than 1..
Lots of stay at home parents then move into HOME SCHOOLING once the kiddos get school age.. which is a great alternative to Public School, IMO..
Most of the dual income families that I know, do it only because they MUST in order to make ends meet. I would LOVE it if my wife would stay home, clean the house, take care of the kids, even home school. Life would truly be soooo much easier for us (specifically, me!).. but alas, she ENJOYS her job and realizes that working is a helluva lot easier than being a STAY AT HOME MOM!!!
It's not that you're asking the question- it was the way in which it was asked.
I could give you many reasons right now, but I won't because I expect that it will not be "good enough" for you. It's not something that you need to "wrap your head around".
Thanks for trying to tell me what I should be thinking about. Condescend much? I don't know why you're coming at me with this attitude when all I did was pose a question, but it's uncalled for.
OP, how many couples do you know personally, actual people, that you are friendly with, who have this sort of arrangement? I am talking about situation where one of them does not work outside the home at a FT job or inside the home as a caregiver.
Just give us a rough estimate, like...between 0 and 1?
Because I think you may be getting agitated over something that is so rare as to barely exist except among very wealthy people and those who have the sort of careers where they don't resent going to work.
As for your premise, if I had a comfortable, enjoyable career that could support a family easily, and my partner was happiest staying out of the rat race and taking care of the home or pursuing hobbies, of course I would support that, because I, you know, love them and want them to live the life they enjoy.
I think kids are a HUGE reason some parents stay HOME. Day care is expensive and compounded when you have more than 1..
Lots of stay at home parents then move into HOME SCHOOLING once the kiddos get school age.. which is a great alternative to Public School, IMO..
Most of the dual income families that I know, do it only because they MUST in order to make ends meet. I would LOVE it if my wife would stay home, clean the house, take care of the kids, even home school. Life would truly be soooo much easier for us (specifically, me!).. but alas, she ENJOYS her job and realizes that working is a helluva lot easier than being a STAY AT HOME MOM!!!
We just had this thread a month or two ago, it seems.
I think if a household can swing one parent working and the other at home that would be ideal for a lot of people and for the kids sake. People are say how great day care is... IDK, not sure it's all that people make it out to be. I'd still rather family deal with my small child. Sometimes you just can't do it. Like you mentioned you really need to look at the second income and see if it makes sense for all of the costs associated as gas, wear and tear on a second car, insurance, clothes, etc etc. If that second income is making 9 dollars an hour it might not be worth it, depending on where you live and your financial situation.
OP, how many couples do you know personally, actual people, that you are friendly with, who have this sort of arrangement? Just give us a rough estimate, like...between 0 and 1?
Because I think you may be getting agitated over something that is so rare as to barely exist except among very wealthy people and those who have the sort of careers where they don't resent going to work.
As for your premise, if I had a comfortable, enjoyable career that could support a family easily, and my partner was happiest staying out of the rat race and taking care of the home or pursuing hobbies, of course I would support that, because I, you know, love them and want them to live the life they enjoy.
You never loved anyone, I'm guessing.
I can think of 4 guys that I work with that their wives don't work (and they are not rich by any means), my next door neighbors wife doesn't work. That's all I can think of off the top of my head but I know there's plenty more out there.
My whole point is I'm not going to work my life away so SOMEONE ELSE can live the good life.
Thanks for trying to tell me what I should be thinking about. Condescend much? I don't know why you're coming at me with this attitude when all I did was pose a question, but it's uncalled for.
No! You started off arguing with the very first response you received.
Look, here's a simple concept. It's a very individual choice for couples, especially those with children and that's as simple as it gets.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmy12345678
I can think of 4 guys that I work with that their wives don't work (and they are not rich by any means), my next door neighbors wife doesn't work. That's all I can think of off the top of my head but I know there's plenty more out there.
My whole point is I'm not going to work my life away so SOMEONE ELSE can live the good life.
Then don't. Issue solved!
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