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I don't know her personally, but it makes me think. Would she be happy regardless? I don't know the extend of the relationship but video games and a messy home doesn't mean he wasn't there for her. The rape issue is a problem, and should have been addressed by him differently. Just a thought, not trying to be an a hole.
She didn't kill herself over him. She killed herself because she was unhappy in the situation she put herself in and didn't seek to change it. We can't blame him or love or video games.
This.
When someone chooses to take their life, it's all about them, not their family, friends or relationships. There is no 'blame', but there is a lot of finger pointing after the fact.
I was heartbroken to wake up this morning to find that a friend had taken her life after a breakup with her fiancee. She was heartbroken by the breakup and threatened to kill herself last night. My friends and I tried to talk her out of it in vain. Now we are all left to mourn that this woman gave her all to a man who gave her nothing.
- She moved to his country to live together.
- He didn't have a job.
- He played video games all day.
- He kept a messy home with no utilities
- He threw secrets she trusted him with in her face even including being raped.
In short, she was the worst kind of lonely, with someone else who had no regard or care for her. Her final FB post blamed herself for his lack of regard. It sickens me to the pit of my stomach to read that damn post and realize she killed herself over a dude that had no love or regard for her even as a person.
This is one of my biggest fears. Giving myself to a person who has no regard for me. I'm not going to use this tragedy as an excuse to not put myself out there. I have issues with putting myself out there but I want an honest chance to love someone who will return that love. I know I can write the story differently. I saw my mother get into many different relationships like my friend's but she is a strong no nonsense woman who was aware and left before those relationships sucked the life out of her. This young woman tragically didn't have that awareness or strength.
This is just a devastating tragedy that I hope CD can learn from.
Never give your life to someone who wont even give a damn to you. RIP KN.
I'm sorry about your friend.
All love is a risk. There's no guarantee.
We could say a lot of different things about this particular situation, but right now I just want to say I'm sorry for your loss.
This is the phrase that sets suicide families' teeth on edge. :
Depression and anxiety are most certainly not a temporary problem. Data from AFSP is clear. 90% of suicides are due to mental illness of some form or another.
It is insulting to the friends/family/survivors to imply that suicide is an impulsive act. It does nothing but stigmatize the people who suffered for years before losing their lives.
Thank you for saying this. I really hate that "temporary problem - permanent solution" expression because it's such BS. Although of course some people will impulsively act and perhaps be successful in dying.
My sister and second husband as well as friends and other family have killed themselves. Except for my husband the others suffered for years upon years and there was never going to be a recovery, cure or resolution.
Regardless of Dis's friend's situation, this is so sad and others are left with "what ifs". I'm sure plenty of us were in positions at one time in our lives where we wanted to give up and not deal with pain anymore but thankfully we did. Perhaps she would have made it through and life would have gotten good again. I'm really sad to think she would be over this in a year and new opportunities made her smile again.
This thread does make me appreciate the ones that are still in my life. I've had tons of friends and people I knew die for various reasons. One friend committed suicide before I started high school. Took my mother's gun and blew his brains out.
For people reading this poor lady's fate, know that if you have a friend who is in such a state, call an ambulance and don't leave her alone. Second guessing whether your friend is going to do it or not, don't take the chance. 911.
I was heartbroken to wake up this morning to find that a friend had taken her life after a breakup with her fiancee. She was heartbroken by the breakup and threatened to kill herself last night. My friends and I tried to talk her out of it in vain. Now we are all left to mourn that this woman gave her all to a man who gave her nothing.
- She moved to his country to live together.
- He didn't have a job.
- He played video games all day.
- He kept a messy home with no utilities
- He threw secrets she trusted him with in her face even including being raped.
In short, she was the worst kind of lonely, with someone else who had no regard or care for her. Her final FB post blamed herself for his lack of regard. It sickens me to the pit of my stomach to read that damn post and realize she killed herself over a dude that had no love or regard for her even as a person.
This is one of my biggest fears. Giving myself to a person who has no regard for me. I'm not going to use this tragedy as an excuse to not put myself out there. I have issues with putting myself out there but I want an honest chance to love someone who will return that love. I know I can write the story differently. I saw my mother get into many different relationships like my friend's but she is a strong no nonsense woman who was aware and left before those relationships sucked the life out of her. This young woman tragically didn't have that awareness or strength.
This is just a devastating tragedy that I hope CD can learn from.
Never give your life to someone who wont even give a damn to you. RIP KN.
Thanks for posting this! RIP to your friend. Yes this is something to learn from for people like me and many others on CD who chooses to stay in a relationship thinking things will get better later on. It's always good to get out when you notice some red flags or when someone doesn't value you and I am learning this hard way.
I'm sorry for your loss. That's so very sad. I hate that that happened. Her life's over, but he couldn't care less.
I can't help thinking that it seems that her parents/family didn't raise her to be a strong individual & to have healthy self-esteem & self-worth. Perhaps she came from a bad home life that didn't talk about that kind of thing...don't know.
No one should allow mistreatment from anyone else, but would that person (the victim) RECOGNIZE they're being mistreated OR even if they do, will they NOT BE IN DENIAL & take their power & take action (stand up for themselves, end the situation, etc.)?
NO relationship's worth being unhappy. Life's way too short for that.
I’m sorry to hear about your loss Diss and Zen! That’s a horrible way to lose your loved ones.
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