Ever Cheated and Got Your Ex Back? How? (dating, boyfriend, girlfriend)
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I recently got caught cheating by my ex, who I had been dating for three months. And it's wasn't a one time thing either.. I had been having sex with my ex for about a month or two.
So yeah the gf got a hold of my ex and they talked and even compared dates. So everything is out in the open, all about how I'd have sex with one girl one day, and the other the next.
The gf confronted me and basically I told her look, you had broken up with me several times over what I think are stupid things. After the first time you broke up with me, you had asked me are we exclusive? And I told you specifically that "there is no point in us being exclusive and me being loyal to you if you can just break up with me any time you feel like and date other men."
Admittedly, this little technicality is a poor excuse. I lied to her a lot about where I was and that I was not with any other women.
So I admit I was a huge jerk and I hurt these two women a lot but the point is I really miss my gf (well now my ex) and would really like her back. I feel really bad about how I hurt her. My argument is that we were not exclusive. I had asked her to be my girlfriend and she had said no (she wanted a big production out of it) and although we told each other we loved each other and we spent all our time together there was no formal agreement between us to be monogamous and exclusive. However she disagrees and asks me how can I love her if I am having sex with my ex. I told her she kept breaking up with me and that was very hard on me and I was always upset so I would go to my ex to make me feel better.
So bottom line, I feel really horrible for what i did and would like to have her back. Problem is, she has blocked my phone and hasnt responded to my last two emails. She has told me she never wants to speak with me again. Now I know that sometimes women say things out of extreme anger that they don't mean, but i'm not sure if she means it or if I should try again to reach her. The breakup was 10 days ago, and we haven't spoken in a week. I can block my number to call her, but obviously I don't want to do that because (a) i look like a stalker and (b) there is no point trying to talk to someone who has blocked you.
Has any one here cheated on your bf or gf? How did you get them back?
If you would really have loved her, you wouldn't have had sex with the ex. She is right about that.
How did you get caught?
Forget about getting any of the two back. Find a new one and better don't tell her you cheated on your last. And don't cheat on her if you have a fight! I hope you learned your lesson.
... there is no point trying to talk to someone who has blocked you.
Don't try to call her.
It sounds like you overlapped two girls, but they didn't know that. So it doesn't really matter that you didn't have a signed and notarized agreement of exclusivity: In their minds, you cheated, which you did because you got something by being deceitful. That's basically the definition of cheating.
I would not TRY to get this girl back. You may run into her around town anyway, and you can talk about stuff then.
Instead, I would spend some time thinking about whether you are ready to tell someone you love them and if you really know what love means. oh-eve is right. None of the behavior you described comes from love for someone else.
If you would really have loved her, you wouldn't have had sex with the ex. She is right about that.
How did you get caught?
Forget about getting any of the two back. Find a new one and better don't tell her you cheated on your last. And don't cheat on her if you have a fight! I hope you learned your lesson.
Thanks for the response.
I got caught because my gf demanded to know my iphone password so she could trust me. She was very bossy and controlling. I resisted, but couldn't take the pressure. One of our fights revolved around her coming to my house and cleaning up and she found some old porn dvd's. She told me to throw it out. I told her no, I won't throw it out, but out of respect for her I will put it in an old box and throw it in some old corner of my basement. I knew she was a little upset, but i didn't think it was such a big deal. She ended up leaving my house angrily that night, and the next day she broke up with me saying I would chose to keep an old porn dvd that I don't even watch anymore and hurt her feelings because of it. I told her it was my house and she can't come into it after only dating me for a month and demand that I throw out my personal possessions, no matter how distasteful she may think they are.
She also demanded to go through my computer, and when she did she found some old racy pics of exes that I had and she demanded I throw out those too. I deleted as many items as I could, but she found one and flipped out on me one time. This is what life was like with her. I loved her, which is why I put up with her behavior. But I gave in to her, I felt stupid being part of an argument over such stupid things But they were important to her, because she felt like why would I start such a big fight over such unimportant issues.
So anyway, one day she went through my iphone and although I had deleted most messages she managed to find one where I called my ex "babe." She called her and that's when everything came out. Despite my cheating, I feel as if though I really do love her. Sometimes couples who love each other hurt each other through arguments, name-calling, cheating, and other bad behavior that happens in the intensity of the moment or due to circumstance.. In my case I think i did it because I feared my gf would leave me and I wanted my ex there as a back up.
I'm not excusing my behavior, I know it was wrong. But I'm not really looking for advice such as "it's over move on you cheated it's done" because we all know that couples get back together all the time after cheating occurs. And it doesn't necessarily mean they don't love each other. And I don't really need to hear things like what I did was wrong, because I already know that and feel really bad about it.
What I"m looking for are examples of anybody getting back their ex after having cheated.. and how they managed to do it.
I have done some shady things toward the end of my marriage, but at that point I considered the relationship to be over. FWIW, I made it clear many times that I wanted out and he kept fighting it for the longest time. Obviously I did not want to get him back... that, and he never found out. Probably suspected though.
I got caught because my gf demanded to know my iphone password so she could trust me.
She was very bossy and controlling.
I resisted, but couldn't take the pressure.
One of our fights revolved around her coming to my house and cleaning up and she found some old porn dvd's. She told me to throw it out.
She ended up leaving my house angrily that night, and the next day she broke up with me saying I would chose to keep an old porn dvd that I don't even watch anymore and hurt her feelings because of it.
She also demanded to go through my computer, and when she did she found some old racy pics of exes that I had and she demanded I throw out those too. I gave in to her, I felt stupid being part of an argument over such stupid things
She went through my iphone
I feared my gf would leave me ....
Wow, this ^^ is unbelievable.
I have reconciled with an ex after infidelity, but that was different from your situation and in my opinion you should be glad this controlling woman is out of your life.
The stuff you described is NOT love. She didn't love you. She wanted to control you.
I got caught because my gf demanded to know my iphone password so she could trust me. She was very bossy and controlling. I resisted, but couldn't take the pressure. One of our fights revolved around her coming to my house and cleaning up and she found some old porn dvd's. She told me to throw it out. I told her no, I won't throw it out, but out of respect for her I will put it in an old box and throw it in some old corner of my basement. I knew she was a little upset, but i didn't think it was such a big deal. She ended up leaving my house angrily that night, and the next day she broke up with me saying I would chose to keep an old porn dvd that I don't even watch anymore and hurt her feelings because of it. I told her it was my house and she can't come into after only dating me for a month and demand that I throw out my personal possessions, no matter how distasteful she may think they are.
She also demanded to go through my computer, and when she did she found some old racy pics of exes that I had and she demanded I throw out those too. I deleted as many items as I could, but she found one and flipped out on me one time. This is what life was like with her. I loved her, which is why I put up with her behavior. But I gave in to her, I felt stupid being part of an argument over such stupid things But they were important to her, because she felt like why would I start such a big fight over such unimportant issues.
So anyway, one day she went through my iphone and although I had deleted most messages she managed to find one where I called my ex "babe." She called her and that's when everything came out. Despite my cheating, I feel as if though I really do love her. Sometimes couples who love each other hurt each other through arguments, name-calling, cheating, and other bad behavior that happens in the intensity of the moment or due to circumstance.. In my case I think i did it because I feared my gf would leave me and I wanted my ex there as a back up.
I'm not excusing my behavior, I know it was wrong. But I'm not really looking for advice such as "it's over move on you cheated it's done" because we all know that couples get back together all the time after cheating occurs. And it doesn't necessarily mean they don't love each other. And I don't really need to hear things like what I did was wrong, because I already know that and feel really bad about it.
What I"m looking for are examples of anybody getting back their ex after having cheated.. and how they managed to do it.
Too much happened. Her being already controlling and suspicious before she found out. Even if you get back together, she is not the kind of person who will just forget what happened. She would go through your stuff all the time with the justification "you are a cheater, I need to check on you."
You'll fight even more. Save your time and effort and find somebody else.
You most likely will not get an example here of anybody getting back a partner whom they had so much problems with before the cheating even happened. It just isn't realistic. Sorry.
Too much happened. Her being already controlling and suspicious before she found out. Even if you get back together, she is not the kind of person who will just forget what happened. She would go through your stuff all the time with the justification "you are a cheater, I need to check on you."
You'll fight even more. Save your time and effort and find somebody else.
You most likely will not get an example here of anybody getting back a partner whom they had so much problems with before the cheating even happened. It just isn't realistic. Sorry.
But are the problems we suffered really that bad? I just didn't think it was a big deal! I mean who breaks up with a guy just because he put an old porn dvd in an old box in a basement rather than just throw it out?
I don't mind allowing her go through my iphone and computer. I have already deleted almost all previous bad messages and pictures anyway.
Has anyone gone back to a cheating boyfriend? Blocked him? What happened so he got you back?
There's lots of situations where people get back together after cheating.. someone here must have some good advice on what to do to get her back?
But are the problems we suffered really that bad? I just didn't think it was a big deal! I mean who breaks up with a guy just because he put an old porn dvd in an old box in a basement rather than just throw it out?
I don't mind allowing her go through my iphone and computer. I have already deleted almost all previous bad messages and pictures anyway.
But are the problems we suffered really that bad? I just didn't think it was a big deal! I mean who breaks up with a guy just because he put an old porn dvd in an old box in a basement rather than just throw it out?
I don't mind allowing her go through my iphone and computer. I have already deleted almost all previous bad messages and pictures anyway.
Has anyone gone back to a cheating boyfriend? Blocked him? What happened so he got you back?
There's lots of situations where people get back together after cheating.. someone here must have some good advice on what to do to get her back?
Yes, she was overly jealous and controlling - and then she found exactly what she is looking for. She will NEVER trust you because she NEVER trusted you. If you get back together, she'll be miserable and even more controlling and your whole relationship will be miserable.
Yes, tons of people get back together after cheating, BUT
a) they were together longer and have more history together
b) have kids
c) it was a one time only
d) the cheater came clean and didn't get caught
e) Counseling was involved
f) they were happier before the cheating occurred.
Sorry, dude.
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agreement of exclusivity: In their minds, you cheated, which you did because you got something by being deceitful. That's basically the definition of cheating.
