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Say a woman you met online tells you that she just wants to be friends "for now", still wants to hang out with you, but expects you to pickup the entire tab when you go out... is that a valid expectation? I guess I am asking what the expectation is of splitting the cost of dating these days when it's really "dating limbo" i.e. hanging in there to see if it becomes more than just friends?
My thinking was that when she mentions "just friends" it's automatically dutch whenever you hang out? Seems right?
This is also a scenario where you meet someone from OkCupid who lists what they are looking for as "a friend or dating"... so what are you initially? Just hanging out as friends? Or dating? How do you know? And who pays?
"Two checks please."
"I thought it was going to be one check?"
"Aww, that's so sweet of you."
"Umm waiter? She said she wants to take the bill one one check."
"Again, thanks. That is so sweet of you to pick up the bill."
Lots of places around here in the Pacific Northwest automatically give a bill that separates out what each person ordered.
Yes, they can do that here in NYC also but for the server having to deal with a large # of separate checks is absurd and they'd have to itemize every drink or food item for each guest.
Last edited by bellakin123; 01-30-2017 at 02:50 PM..
When I was online dating, I have no problem NOT paying anything. I think about the only one that made a big deal about is, is that one guy, not directly but I have a feeling he told me he felt no 'sparks' after he paid for that 1 and only time we met.
Yes, they can do that here in NYC also but for the server having to deal with a large # of separate checks is absurd and they'd have to itemize every drink or food item for each guest.
I've been to many places where they automatically do it (i.e. it doesn't need to be requested). Guess they have a procedure in place where it doesn't unduly burden the servers.
I've been to many places where they automatically do it (i.e. it doesn't need to be requested). Guess they have a procedure in place where it doesn't unduly burden the servers.
If it doesn't burden them that's great I guess they already anticipate the multiple "separate checks, please" lol...often times, when our group of friends go out we're anywhere between 14-20 people (mostly couples) and just split it evenly. It's not an outing that we do very often so scrutinizing who ate what or who had how many drinks is a non-issue.
If a few couples are just hanging out at a bar, we alternate buying rounds. Never seemed so complicated lol
nope. Unless my friend can't afford to go out to eat or for drinks and i really wanted to go with a friend, I'd be willing to pay. But if she wants to be friends "for now" which sounds super shady, I would not be OK with it. If she isn't willing to date me for any reasons and wants to be friends and not date for a period of time that's fine, but she's paying her way whether she likes it or not. If she wants to start dating me, I'll start picking up the bill.
There isn't much gray area here. You're either interested in dating or you want to be friends.
If I ask someone to go to a game it's because I already have the tickets. If they drink or eat it is on them.
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I guess they already anticipate the multiple "separate checks, please" lol...often times, when our group of friends go out we're anywhere between 14-20 people (mostly couples) and just split it evenly. It's not an outing that we do very often so scrutinizing who ate what or who had how many drinks is a non-issue. 
