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I think he is a case of self imposed cluelessness.
Once all this blows over, you two need to address this, it can really cause problems in a marriage later.
My late husband was similar, and YES it caused problems. He seemed to have everyone's back but mine.
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flowerashes, this doesn't have to be awkward or weird or anything just a matter of fact.
"So when are you planning on leaving?"
Enter her answer.. which is probably vague without a precise date..
"While it's been nice to get a chance to meet you, my boyfriend and I need some time alone. We'll have to ask you to be on you're way by ______." .. Kill her with kindness so she can't label you as the bad guy, but be firm on a time she's expected to be on her way.
Don't let her turn you into the bad person here. Talk to your boyfriend about this prior to so you're both on the same page. If he gives a damn about you, he'll be supportive.
You don't have to kick her onto the street with short notice, but you've been more than hospitable to her.
Her on the other hand, seems like a complete fruit loop that is rude as all hell. You're bf sounds afraid, weak, and not the brightest bulb in the closet either. He's actually the one to blame for all of this as he is the enabler. He's displayed a total lack of intelligence and regard for you.
There's nothing wrong with politely letting her know that you want the place to yourself by a certain time.
Do NOT leave it up in the air however, unless you want her to move in permanently under the radar as she has been doing.
This thread has more strange going on it than your average thread. I guess that's why it's gone on so long.
You are going to come home one day to find they have changed the locks on you. Oh, well. We all tried to tell you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by linttrap
Since you know she has to be there tonight, why don't you fry up some fish, or cook a couple of steaks, or fry some chicken?
Quote:
Originally Posted by asianrocker
So your BF is making 'friends' with backpack girls while you're away? You better get to thinking why is that?
People love DRAMA!
Quote:
Originally Posted by flowerashes
Got some good advice though and confronted my boyfriend. And now he either tells her to leave today or I will. Problem solved, for now,
A little drama-y but, that's what happens when there's no communication.
Quote:
but after she leaves there will still be a conversation about his boundaries and his problems to say no.
There needs to be a conversation, but I'm not sure that this is the right one.
There's nothing wrong with inviting people to stay with you. Some people would even consider it a positive. Some people even make it a lifestyle. But, of course, everybody in the domicile needs to be onboard.
The two biggest problems aren't this girl, they aren't his boundaries or his problems saying no. They problems are
1-his dismissive attitude towards your feelings
2-the lack of communication between the two of you (which, of course, influences the first problem)
I think he is a case of self imposed cluelessness.
Once all this blows over, you two need to address this, it can really cause problems in a marriage later.
My late husband was similar, and YES it caused problems. He seemed to have everyone's back but mine.
Nope. The guy is afraid of confronting the situation, but he's playing the dumb card IMO. Who knows. Maybe he is getting some action on the side and that's a possible motivating factor. Maybe not. Who knows.
He is not showing any regard for the OP after she's made it clear she is uncomfortable (which should be obvious).
He should be the one stepping up to the plate to handle the situation not the gf who he's put in a position where she doesn't feel comfortable in her own home.
Fail on his part entirely. He should have talked to this girl directly after discussing with flowergirl regarding how long she was planning on staying. Actually that should have all been discussed prior to fruit loops visiting.
One can be nice and communicate in a way that is effective. "Hey feel free to stay. We have plans Saturday". "We'd be glad to help you on your way". etc.
I would serve red meat and eat red meat everyday until she's gone. That's just me.
I might serve more beans too. Who knows I might be able to stink the place naturally and she might leave. I need all the help I can get.
Nah, I even hear them talking from the living room. Talking and laughing. I know there isn't anything going on right now, and I don't even think I should be worried, but as I said, it's her whole behavior and making me feel like I'm the third wheel.
You're very naive. You think your boyfriend isn't going to stray when you have a job that has you gone months at a time?
Wake up and smell the coffee. Neither of you have much time invested in this relationship, add in you have been gone for a good part of it.
It's right in your face.
Perhaps you need to chose between job and relationships. Sounds like you have an interesting career. I would focus on that and maybe look at relationships down the road when you have a job that doesn't require to be traveling so much.
This thread has more strange going on it than your average thread. I guess that's why it's gone on so long.
Yeah. And the active participation from the OP.
Although the excuses put forward for the boyfriend are starting to wear thin. Again, he's not 'too nice.' Nice people are actually aware of what's going on around them and make steps to support the one they love and make them feel comfortable. This guy is cowardly, unless he steps up and asks his friend to leave, and I doubt he will.
Too late, they left to the beach together half an hour ago. I mean I was invited but I really didn't want to go.
And I wish we had sex, seriously. We obviously didn't have sex for the two months I was gone, and we only had sex once since I'm back, that was the night I came back, a few hours before she arrived. Ever since, she's around all the time, and last night he talked alone to her til 1am, so no time to even try to have sex with him.
Don't worry, he's having sex. You're just not involved in it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Axxlrod
She was out of the country for 7 months or something like that. One session of sexy-time does not make up for that absence. And then he immediately moves another girl in to their house. Um, hello?
Hello is right.
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It really stinks. Go for it 
You better get to thinking why is that?
