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So, another update. Bf finished work and picked me up at my office, and we went home together. We met that girl in the door, she was all dressed up and goes 'I'm leaving' and I'm like 'Ah cool, to XX (insert city)?' and she's like 'Nope, just to XX square, there is an event there' and then she asks my bf to join her, but he's like 'Nah, I'm tired, but have fun!' and she gives him a big hug and leaves, without saying one word to me.
We close the door behind us and I'm like (in a calm, almost amused tone) 'What was that?' and he goes 'What do you mean?' And I tell him that I found it pretty weird that she would give him a big hug and doesn't even say a word to me. I also told him that she also didn't talk to me all morning while both her and I were here. He's like 'If you wanted her to talk to you, why didn't you say something first? Like she HAS TO come to the living room and talk to you only because she hears that you're there?' He also told me to to be so jealous.
I almost lost it, but once again, I explained my problem to him, why I want her to leave and why HE should tell her. He got pretty pissed and said he really doesn't get my problem and that I'm just like that because I personally don't like her. And that he wouldn't tell my friends to leave 'two days' after getting here. And that he thinks I never want him to have visitors. I explained everything AGAIN but I doubt that he really gets the point. In the end he said he's going to ask her when she leaves, but he's not going to tell her when she HAS TO leave. I'm like 'So what's your limit? Would you let her stay another two weeks or a month if she wanted to?' He said I don't know. I then told him that if she doesn't leave til Sunday, I will be the one leaving.
We close the door behind us and I'm like (in a calm, almost amused tone) 'What was that?' and he goes 'What do you mean?' And I tell him that I found it pretty weird that she would give him a big hug and doesn't even say a word to me.
Honestly, that does seem petty, and it weakens your position. You really could have let that one go. Despite what some of the drama-mongers here want you to think, this isn't about any perceived supposed sexual tension between them, but now that you objected to it, it confuses the issue.
His refusal to even try to understand your feelings is disturbing.
Honestly, that does seem petty, and it weakens your position. You really could have let that one go. Despite what some of the drama-mongers here want you to think, this isn't about any perceived supposed sexual tension between them, but now that you objected to it, it confuses the issue.
His refusal to even try to understand your feelings is disturbing.
I guess we will see what happens Sunday.
Why petty? She didn't even say bye to me, while she invited ONLY my bf to join her and ONLY bye said to him. I found that rude, and weird. It's not about sexual tension, it's about manners.
But ya, I guess we'll see on Sunday. It makes me so mad that he makes me look like the bad person who doesn't want him to have any friends stay with him/us.
Why petty? She didn't even say bye to me, while she invited ONLY my bf to join her and ONLY bye said to him. I found that rude, and weird. It's not about sexual tension, it's about manners.
Because your clueless boyfriend isn't going to know that. He's going to focus on the hug part of it, and the way you phrased the question, "What was that?" implies that he was in on it and has any idea what it was rather than giving him the opportunity to rally to your side.
If you had said, "That's exactly what I've been telling you about. She only invited you and she ONLY said bye to you, and ignored me. Now do you see?"
At that point, he might have gotten a clue. Now he's still putting you in enemy territory because he thinks you're jealous instead of tossing her because SHE is inconsiderate.
Some of you actually need to read the thread before making huge pronouncements from up on high.
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Because your clueless boyfriend isn't going to know that. He's going to focus on the hug part of it, and the way you phrased the question, "What was that?" implies that he was in on it and has any idea what it was rather than giving him the opportunity to rally to your side.
If you had said, "That's exactly what I've been telling you about. She only invited you and she ONLY said bye to you, and ignored me. Now do you see?"
At that point, he might have gotten a clue. Now he's still putting you in enemy territory because he thinks you're jealous instead of tossing her because SHE is inconsiderate.
Oh I did, I explained that to him too. Sorry if that wasn't clear. But he didn't really say anything to it, probably he didn't even notice that.
Because your clueless boyfriend isn't going to know that. He's going to focus on the hug part of it, and the way you phrased the question, "What was that?" implies that he was in on it and has any idea what it was rather than giving him the opportunity to rally to your side.
If you had said, "That's exactly what I've been telling you about. She only invited you and she ONLY said bye to you, and ignored me. Now do you see?"
At that point, he might have gotten a clue. Now he's still putting you in enemy territory because he thinks you're jealous instead of tossing her because SHE is inconsiderate.
Yep.
This is the crummy part, you have to walk (talk) on eggshells so he won't get madder. At you.
Heck, this is one of the first threads where most of the GUYS are on your side.
To me, you need to emphasize that you work at home, and you and BF have not had time alone. Well you ended up with time tonight, but I'm guessing you are not too much in the mood? The fact that she is letting you guys fund her dining would get to me too, but I'm guessing your BF doesn't care, and it's his money.
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In the end he said he's going to ask her when she leaves, but he's not going to tell her when she HAS TO leave. I'm like 'So what's your limit? Would you let her stay another two weeks or a month if she wanted to?' He said I don't know. I then told him that if she doesn't leave til Sunday, I will be the one leaving.
Welp. He's made his choice. Now you can think hard about whether you want to spend the rest of your life with a person like this.
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