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You are upset that he doesn't get your hints. Men don't get hints. You have to be direct. I'm positive that you have never told him about your expectations for exchanging gifts. He knows what his brother and parents expect but you have let it slide before.
You ARE pouting. I guarantee you that he is clueless trying to decipher all of this.
Yes, I have told him. More than once- In 2014 he also 'forgot' to get me a gift so we had that conversation again. I'm not hinting. I'm open and he's well aware of it.
Nope, still not pouting. But you're welcome to think whatever you want.
Flowerashes, your boyfriend may be a great guy with a few communication problems, I don't know. What I do know is that getting married is not going to change him, so are you willing to live a life with this kind of interaction just because you have a ring on your finger?
Think carefully about this entire situation. I know you love him, and he probably loves you. That is simply not enough. Also, he has pretty much told you how he feels about getting married. I would encourage you not to waste time wondering if he doesn't want to get married ever to anyone or if it's just you. Then, give some thought to how long you want to wait to get married and have children. Didn't you say you are quite young? I would encourage you not to even think about having children until you are in your late 20s because, married or not, we all change so much during that decade. If you want to give your current relationship time to breathe, do it, but if you really are set on getting married, you should talk with him honestly, at a time when you are both relatively calm and happy, and then decide what you want, what is best for you. You won't change him without counseling and an effort on both your parts to learn to communicate better; and you won't suddenly be happier because he reluctantly married you to keep you with him and not because he thinks marrying you is the best thing in the whole world and he wants to shout out to that world that he loves you and wants to marry you.
You have a lot to think about -- I wish you lots of luck and wisdom.
You're right, it's not enough. I don't know if I could live with it if he doesn't even want to try o work on it. I turn 29 in 3 days actually, so not that young anymore.
You've been dating this guy for 4 years and you're still trying to train him to be as into the whole gift giving thing as you are. It's not going to happen. If giving and receiving gifts is a big deal (it obviously is and there's nothing wrong with that), then you need to quit throwing good time after lost time and move on to another guy. One who won't try to blame you every time you're not happy.
Yes, I have told him. More than once- In 2014 he also 'forgot' to get me a gift so we had that conversation again. I'm not hinting. I'm open and he's well aware of it.
Nope, still not pouting. But you're welcome to think whatever you want.
I could buy this if you hadn't used the same classic passive-aggressive behavior with the guest.
Honestly right now, I'd love to cancel. I don't see how this is going to be a great trip when we haven't even resolved our discussions from this week, from TODAY even. But I'm worried that if I tell him i want to cancel I'll screw up everything more than it is already.
I advice you not to cancel. And also to stop checking this thread or posting here. I read your last few posts and when you said you don't even know why that happened line on that one post?
I ACTUALLY know what happened and that is us, perfect strangers, and this thread messing up with your head. You know your BF more than we do. Stay off this forum. Go on your vacation don't go on this forum.
I honestly can't relate with that gift exchange hangup. But you are not getting any younger. You really need to have a serious talk on that marriage. Use that vacation to have that talk with no outside influence aka this forum.
Hopefully before you went back home after your vacation with him, you know by then ON YOUR own, your own feeling, decision, what will happen next in this relationship. Good luck.
I advice you not to cancel. And also to stop checking this thread or posting here. I read your last few posts and when you said you don't even know why that happened line on that one post?
I ACTUALLY know what happened and that is us, perfect strangers, and this thread messing up with your head. You know your BF more than we do. Stay off this forum. Go on your vacation don't go on this forum.
I honestly can't relate with that gift exchange hangup. But you are not getting any younger. You really need to have a serious talk on that marriage. Use that vacation to have that talk with no outside influence aka this forum.
Hopefully before you went back home after your vacation with him, you know by then ON YOUR own, your own feeling, decision, what will happen next in this relationship. Good luck.
Remember this is YOUR life, your decision.
Oh, please. You had no problem consulting the board about that atrocious "gift" idea you had for your husband. This board is a good sounding off place as long one's willing to be honest and open to different perspectives.
Nobody here is messing with her head, except the BF-- and the OP needs to decide whether she can handle it or not.
If I were you, you should go to the beach with them, make sure you wear the most sexiest bathingsuit you can find, and when you are all over at the beach, you grab your man by the hand and drag him to the ocean and makeout like crazy in front of her!
You've been dating this guy for 4 years and you're still trying to train him to be as into the whole gift giving thing as you are. It's not going to happen. If giving and receiving gifts is a big deal (it obviously is and there's nothing wrong with that), then you need to quit throwing good time after lost time and move on to another guy. One who won't try to blame you every time you're not happy.
But it wasn't always like that. The first few years, he always got me something for Christmas and bdays. Apparently this year and two years ago he just decided to not get me anything even though we agreed to get us something.
I predict that the OP will return from the trip with the announcement, "We're engaged!"
All the red flags will have evaporated for the time being, much like the miraculous disappearing act by the squatter.
Haha, I'm a 100% sure he will NOT propose.
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