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Welp, I've given this guy the benefit of the doubt about as much as I can. If he is willingly being this obtuse, I think you're within your rights to spend today packing up some stuff and going to a hotel.
It could be a wake-up call for him, or it could give him the opening he needs to say, "Listen, we need to talk about what I've been doing and feeling while you've been gone ...."
I certainly would NOT be around as an observer of their antics tonight.
yeah, you won't be able to hide your feelings. Even if you don't say anything, it will be written all over your face. He will be annoyed about it and she will feel the power and makes it even worse with exaggerated behavior. If you stay, you will have another fight. If you hide in the bedroom - same thing.
And - don't stay and drink your anger away - this will backfire big time.
So she should leave until???? The girl has no departure date.
Who's name is on the lease?
I wouldn't leave without explicitly telling him we are through. But I'm really bad in situations like this, my temper gets the better of me.
"I don't just burn my bridges, I nuke them. That way people know I take my crazy seriously."
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So she should leave until???? The girl has no departure date.
Who's name is on the lease?
I wouldn't leave without explicitly telling him we are through. But I'm really bad in situations like this, my temper gets the better of me.
She doesn't need to MOVE out, but she should not be there when he gets home from the beach.
I would make plans for a night out or just treat myself to a nice hotel. When I came back in the morning, I probably would take Ms. Heifer aside and tell her that BF and I had some things to work out and it's time for her to GTFO.
Welp, I've given this guy the benefit of the doubt about as much as I can. If he is willingly being this obtuse, I think you're within your rights to spend today packing up some stuff and going to a hotel.
It could be a wake-up call for him, or it could give him the opening he needs to say, "Listen, we need to talk about what I've been doing and feeling while you've been gone ...."
I certainly would NOT be around as an observer of their antics tonight.
He seemed to be super excited about me coming back, I mean before I got back we skyped and messaged each other every single day, I don't think his feelings for me have changed, I just think he maybe enjoys the attention and really doesn't understand what is appropriate and what isn't, which is unacceptable. For now I'm gonna stay at the apartment, don't wanna go to a hotel yet, but for sure I'm not going to sit next to them third wheeling them (ok to be fair, he didn't make me feel like a third wheel yesterday til I went to bed and he didn't follow me, but she did the entire day), so instead I'm just getting some work done.
He seemed to be super excited about me coming back, I mean before I got back we skyped and messaged each other every single day, I don't think his feelings for me have changed, I just think he maybe enjoys the attention and really doesn't understand what is appropriate and what isn't, which is unacceptable. For now I'm gonna stay at the apartment, don't wanna go to a hotel yet, but for sure I'm not going to sit next to them third wheeling them (ok to be fair, he didn't make me feel like a third wheel yesterday til I went to bed and he didn't follow me, but she did the entire day), so instead I'm just getting some work done.
That's fine. You know the situation better than we do.
You also have 4 years with him under your belt. You have to get through to him somehow.
So she should leave until???? The girl has no departure date.
Who's name is on the lease?
I wouldn't leave without explicitly telling him we are through. But I'm really bad in situations like this, my temper gets the better of me.
"I don't just burn my bridges, I nuke them. That way people know I take my crazy seriously."
Both of our names are on the lease. Usually I don't mind a friend of his staying with us, I've also had friends of mine (only girls though) stay with us for like 2-3 days but this is different. It's really hard for me to stay calm through all this. He just thinks I'm exaggerating. Don't wanna move out yet though, I still hope she will just leave in a day or two and he will talk about this without getting angry.
That's fine. You know the situation better than we do.
You also have 4 years with him under your belt. You have to get through to him somehow.
Maybe go visit some family/friends and leave them alone until she is gone? You have been gone for so long, it is a justified move without seeming you are running away. Act all lovey dovey and tell him your friend/mom just called and invited you over. Ask him if he is coming with you or if the friend is staying throughout the weekend.
This will mean they will either shack up while you are gone. Or not. She will be happy you are gone and tries to make a move on him and he either realizes you are right and throws her out. Or they will have sex and you'll find out once you return.
Both of our names are on the lease. Usually I don't mind a friend of his staying with us, I've also had friends of mine (only girls though) stay with us for like 2-3 days but this is different. It's really hard for me to stay calm through all this. He just thinks I'm exaggerating. Don't wanna move out yet though, I still hope she will just leave in a day or two and he will talk about this without getting angry.
It's a difficult situation. I'm not sure what advice is appropriate in this situation. I would not give her the satisfaction of losing my cool or leaving (probably).
It's hard because we have no idea what he is like normally.
If you just waltz back in there like you two aren't arguing "So what time are we leaving for the beach?" will he treat you decently if you go with them? How do you feel about someone who wouldn't?
This really sucks.
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So you're gonna stay on the merry-go-round, keep wishing and hoping, and going around in circles.
Okay.
Good luck with all that.
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