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I'm going through bit tough times & any suggestions are truly helpful.
So my colleague at work introduced me to an amazing man few months ago. I'm 33 , single, qualified, independent & working in corporate. I met this guy who is amazingly equally qualified like me working in corporate as well.
I have to confess, Mod cut.
I wasn't attracted to him initially but in due course I started to like his personality eventually, we started dating in no time. He is barely 4 months older to me.
One day he has informed me , he would like to keep the dating casual & low profile for the first few months & he doesn't want to post anything on social media about our dating until we both get to know each other better. He has informed he all his previous relationships lasted for barely few months so this time he would like to take his own time, keep it low profile & take it slow for the first couple of months. It doesn't mean it is casual but we decided to keep it normal , low profile, see how it goes & then socialize. We both decided to keep it exclusive to each other.
I was fine with all of this & it did made sense to me. He has a pretty boyish look , petite , tiny frame.
Within the first few months of dating, we started to get physical. We happen to see each other like 3 to 4 times a week & things were going smoothly. Within few weeks I realized , sex with him wasn't great . Mod cut. I started to love him , I did give him all the pleasure every time.
Mod cut.
I decided to bring this up many times, but was hesitant he would get hurt. He seemed to have his own deep insecurities , he is also the youngest child in his family & I have to say he lead a pretty comfortable life financially ( his parents are very wealthy). I didn't think he has been through any tough times in his life , nor seen any hurdles and hence grew up very polished, soft spoken with a very sensitive heart.I decided to not offend him & hurt his feelings so kept it low.
Last Saturday, he was with his guys out drinking & I was with my own girls partying. He texted me around 1:00 AM stating he wants to see me & he misses me. He came over to my apartment around 2:00 AM , we started kissing passionately & was about to have sex. Mod cut. , unsure what triggered me ( I was drunk, we both were drunk). I just looked straight to his eyes & said ' You have a small [penis] ( This is exactly what I said, I'm sorry, I was drunk. I know this is profanity) .
He stopped right away , started weeping like a baby & kept saying it was so rude of me to say that.
He refused to show his naked body to me, turned away on the other side of the bed & refused to even see me, or touch me or show his naked frame. I kept hugging him from behind, kissing him , caressing him apologizing that I was drunk asking for forgiveness. We fell asleep like that.
The next morning , he approached me on bed & tried to have sex with me again. While we were having sex, I again yelled at him asking him to Mod cut., he kept staring at me while I was yelling the profanity term , kinda shocked.
He couldn't even last for a minute & was done.i was so agitated, I simply said , ' I lost interest in you'. He was astonished , shocked since he has never seen me with this behavior & immediately said ' Really?'.
I was dissaapointed, he was done so quickly & went on to the couch. Mod cut.
He then decided to leave, showered, dressed up & kissed me on my forehead, hugged me telling me we will hangout soon again. While he was leaving my apartment, I offered him a bottled water, he thanked me telling me 'You are the best, best, you are the best' & he left.
I texted him after an hour to make sure he got him safe. I have also asked him ( first time ever), Mod cut. He responded, I was just too drunk & tired.
Fast forward, after five days, no texts, at all. HE completely disappeared . On Thursday, I texted him asking how his week been so far & also gave my true apologies over text messgs for offending him manhood the other night.
No response, I sent him 8 long detailed texts in the last 4 days, called him , left voicemails, no response at all. I'm just heartbroken, I have been bedridden, unable to resonate, not knowing what is happening & what to do next.
I do not want to call & text him repeatedly. He is a man who would reply to my texts within 2 mins doesn't matter even if he was on christmas vacation with his parents in Florida. The same man now completely disappeared. How do I handle this now . I don't want to stand in front of his apartment uninvited, or show up at his work.
Is this completely over? Do I need to give some more time?
- Is he really offended to this level that I have insulted his manhood/sexuality when I said he has a small penis, he is heartbroken & upset that he is totally humiliated?
- He simply isn't interested anymore & was looking for a way out & found it?
- Is he upset b/c I used the 'F' word while having sex ( was it a shocker to him) but I was hungover.
- or is he upset b/c I offended him the next morning again telling him on his face that I lost interest.
I'm confused, he needs to give me a closure. People have issues, I regret for what I said, I was drunk, I have been saying sorry over text messgs, he simply wouldn't respond. when people have issues in a relation, they make things work out or take a break.
Even if he wants to end it after all this, I'm fine. I just want him to reply to me once, accept my apologies, end it amicably , I wish him nothing but the best. Why would he not give me a closure.
I love him & still want him. He is a down to earth polished man, sophisticated & soft spoken. We have spent so much time personally & do not want to let him go. I'm heartbroken, been bedridden for three days, so weak & emotionally so down weeping. How do I fix this? - I want to make this work
Will he ever forgive me? what should I do now. Is this truly over?
Please no trolling or humiliating me. I have spent over 30 mins typing all this. I need some genuine valuable suggestions, please help me get through this.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 02-05-2017 at 09:53 PM..
Reason: Not PG-13; other violations as well.
You are incompatible with each other. You insulted and humiliated him about his member during the deed. You shouldn't be surprised by his silence. He doesn't owe you any closure--you need to find that for yourself and then move on.
Leave the man alone, move on, respect his no contact, find someone who is compatable with you on all levels, seek
professional guidance from a sex therapist since this is not a sex therapy forum, don't date people you work with, near, in the same company, within 6 miles of the same company, don't talk about Religion or politics at work either and
quit getting drunk.
Chances are he's done. You tell him he has a small penis, then tell him you lost interest in him. Why would be spend time with someone who mocks his body one night, then tells him the next morning they're not interested?
It's like you getting ready to have sex with a man and he insults your body -telling you your breasts are saggy and old-looking , or that your butt looks like bread with all the cellulite. etc. Doesn't exactly make a person feel sexy.
If you can't control what you say when drunk then stop getting drunk, or don't get drunk around other people.
Last edited by HappyRain; 02-05-2017 at 07:13 PM..
First and foremost, he doesn't have to give you "closure".
That you regret what you said doesn't mean that he has to continue in the relationship.
You said something very ugly. Hopefully you learn from this experience.
I agree.
OP, what you are experiencing is called "consequences." It's difficult, but I'm sure it was difficult for him to deal with the way you treated him. Alcohol is no excuse.
Wow Gloria is bringing the heat. Do you really have to ask if it's over after what you said?
If you believe what you said then why do you care that it's over? If you started to "love" him I would presume you wouldn't have diced him up so badly.
Gloria, remember you are an accomplished 30-yr-old corporate career woman. You don't need to be bedridden for three days because of this.
You treated him incredibly badly, and now you're experiencing the fallout. Stand up and move forward, and don't do it again.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 02-05-2017 at 09:34 PM..
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