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Commitmentphobe? They've been on 6 dates in 2 weeks and already had sex. He texts her incessantly. She's not entitled to say "Can I let you know?" lol
He says she does it every time? She can't ever just make a plan? I get that it's been a lot of dates and I'm not talking about committing to marriage but she can't ever just make a plan? He never said he's constantly texting her.
Of course, that begs the question of how 6 dates came to pass without her ultimately letting him know 6 times. Given that not much time could have passed between dates I'm guessing that maybe she did let him know and made firm plans at least some of these times? /shrug
Sounds to me as though it is the 'casualness' of the whole way that people seem to 'date' these days ... the 'wanna hang with me' stuff .. that allows her to be dismissively casual back to you. She doesn't commit perhaps because 'hanging' without any real definition of what that means (although maybe your generation 'gets that' but I doubt mine would) doesn't sound as though you much care if she does or she doesn't.
If you want a better answer, a more definitive one, I would be much more specific even if you just say 'do you want to come over and watch x movie with me?'. If she still responds with 'can I let you know?', I would say that a) she isn't really that interested in you and say 'ok, I understand. I won't bother you again' or b) you can press her further but don't let it go till you get an answer one way or the other if you have decided you like her but aren't really sure she feels the same. Sounds as though you may have to teach her how to treat you. Right now you are getting the answer you deserve but not the one you want.
Gut instinct would be she's waiting for a better offer. Is she giving you any sort of explanation - like she has to work, she has a doctor's appt., etc. or is it just "Can I let you know?"
If I need to let someone know, I let them know why I can't give an answer at the moment so they know I AM interested but need to verify that time and date does work for me.
He says she does it every time? She can't ever just make a plan? I get that it's been a lot of dates and I'm not talking about committing to marriage but she can't ever just make a plan? He never said he's constantly texting her.
Read one of his other threads.
He's seeing her on Sunday. Apparently she has plans Thurs or Fri because she said Wednesday might be better. So essentially, she did let him know.
He's seeing her on Sunday. Apparently she has plans Thurs or Fri because she said Wednesday might be better. So essentially, she did let him know.
I think you were editing your post when I commented
Quote:
Originally Posted by CAOU812
He says she does it every time? She can't ever just make a plan? I get that it's been a lot of dates and I'm not talking about committing to marriage but she can't ever just make a plan? He never said he's constantly texting her.
Of course, that begs the question of how 6 dates came to pass without her ultimately letting him know 6 times. Given that not much time could have passed between dates I'm guessing that maybe she did let him know and made firm plans at least some of these times? /shrug
I don't know. Does she let you know later? Like in a reasonable amount of time not the same day?
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Been dating this girl for over two weeks now. Been on 5 dates and everything seems to be going good. I set up a date for this Sunday to go see the impractical jokers. I asked her to let me know if she wanted to hang out before then. Well, I ended up asking her if she wanted to hang out Thursday or Friday. This has been a common occurrence with her as in everytime I've asked her to hang out she says "Can I let you know?" She does let me know but when I asked her if she wanted to hang out Thursday or Friday. She said Wednesday would be be better or maybe Thursday. Can I let you know? I have made specific date times before with her but even when I say Friday st this time, she still says "Can I let you know?"
Just curious as to why she keeps doing this?
Well, first off, stop being a control freak. For all you know, she has friends coming to town, business obligations or a host of other commitments.
I agree with others. Five dates in two weeks is too much.
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84
I've gotten the "Can I get back with you" explanation many times. They let me know, by prolonging again and we ended up never spending any time together. Why are people just not honest and say I have commitments this week, but I'm free on such and such day this weekend or the week after?
Because they are waiting for someone else who said, "Can I let you know?" Then when that person lets them know, they will let you know.
I no longer accept "can I let you know" unless there is a very good reason such as "my son might be home on leave this weekend, but if he is not I can go. Can I let you know?"
Otherwise when people say "Can I let you know?" I now say, "It sounds like you are very busy. You and I can catch up another time. Give me a call when you are free." Then I make plans with somebody else. My days of waiting around for other people to decide whether they want to see me or do something else are over. I ask you to go somewhere, you look at the calendar on your phone, you see the date is either free and you say yes or you already have plans and you say no. Otherwise goodbye flaky flake flake.
I agree with others. Five dates in two weeks is too much.
Because they are waiting for someone else who said, "Can I let you know?" Then when that person lets them know, they will let you know.
I no longer accept "can I let you know" unless there is a very good reason such as "my son might be home on leave this weekend, but if he is not I can go. Can I let you know?"
Otherwise when people say "Can I let you know?" I now say, "It sounds like you are very busy. You and I can catch up another time. Give me a call when you are free." Then I make plans with somebody else. My days of waiting around for other people to decide whether they want to see me or do something else are over. I ask you to go somewhere, you look at the calendar on your phone, you see the date is either free and you say yes or you already have plans and you say no. Otherwise goodbye flaky flake flake.
That is a GREAT outlook and works well when you have a strong sense of self and don't need to be validated by others.
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