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But he's not saying he can't commit because of the cancer, he's saying that he will most likely relocate back to his home country, and he's looking for sex without making any long term commitment. OP doesn't give enough details on his medical condition and prognosis to know if that's a factor or not.
Okay, than seeing it without emotions and just considering the facts:
- he is very sick
- he might not be around much longer
- he will move away
- he is not interested in a relationship
- he is probably not much fun to be around right now
WHY do you want him? Do you have a helper syndrom?
Go find a healthy dude who really wants you and get a rescue dog.
I know what I want a long lasting long term relationship one day not necessary marriage I do deserve an happy ending. I just don't want to be a booty call from him when ever he wants it. I don't want to be feel like I'm being used or being taken advantage of. He assures me it's not like that. How do I know it's not. That's where I'm having a hard time with. I don't want to get used again, I don't want to go through the torture again. He told me the other night if you think this is too much for you let's just cut ties. And this wasn't based on what his friend said it was my decision and when I tried to cut ties with him he called me asking me what's wrong. I love him and he loves me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123
If you're unsure what you want from dating, don't date.
You're not wrong for feeling what you're feeling (you cannot help how you feel) but you're confusing yourself by being unable to separate your feelings from the purpose in your actions
Okay, than seeing it without emotions and just considering the facts:
- he is very sick
- he might not be around much longer
- he will move away
- he is not interested in a relationship
- he is probably not much fun to be around right now
WHY do you want him? Do you have a helper syndrom?
Go find a healthy dude who really wants you and get a rescue dog.
zero facts in evidence to know whether he's very sick and might not be around much longer. Depends completely on info we do not have about what kind of cancer, what stage it was discovered, what his prognosis is, etc, etc, etc.
but in any case, the bottom line is that the guy has said he's just looking for sex, whatever his reasons. OP is on notice and should act accordingly.
You only recently started dating him. Walk away before you get in any deeper, he's telling you up front that he's not in this for the long term, and your expectations aren't going to match what he's saying he's looking for.
His friend was the one that said he's not looking for long term. He did ask me to be his girlfriend on our first date. I dont just want a booty call for him. I want us having sex to mean something. He wants sex without attachment.
I know what I want a long lasting long term relationship one day not necessary marriage I do deserve an happy ending. I just don't want to be a booty call from him when ever he wants it. I don't want to be feel like I'm being used or being taken advantage of. He assures me it's not like that. How do I know it's not. That's where I'm having a hard time with. I don't want to get used again, I don't want to go through the torture again. He told me the other night if you think this is too much for you let's just cut ties. And this wasn't based on what his friend said it was my decision and when I tried to cut ties with him he called me asking me what's wrong. I love him and he loves me.
you just started dating him. You may be infatuated, but that's NOT the same thing as love.
His friend was the one that said he's not looking for long term. He did ask me to be his girlfriend on our first date. I dont just want a booty call for him. I want us having sex to mean something. He wants sex without attachment.
Sorry, I did not specify he has stage 3 lung cancer. He has shortness of breath and is really sensitive to smell. He went through chemo and radiation back in his home country. Which was a success but needs more surgery here to repair the damages. I'm already into it deep because he has shared everything with me. And I don't want to leave him hanging like this on his own, I do love him and he loves me. Sex without attachment is not enough with me. And finally I found someone that excepts me for me and wants to be with me and I don't want to loose the best thing that has happened in my life. We have so much fun together. He respects me in every way possible. But when it comes to sex that's the one thing that bothers the hell out of me. I want it to mean something. Not just a booty call. Am I wrong for feeling this way ?
The other night he said if you think you cant handle sex without attachment lets cut ties. And thats what I try to do last night he freaked out and called me.
His friend was the one that said he's not looking for long term. He did ask me to be his girlfriend on our first date. I dont just want a booty call for him. I want us having sex to mean something. He wants sex without attachment.
Well yeah. This is how it's been between men and women for about as long as there have been men and women on this earth...
His friend was the one that said he's not looking for long term. He did ask me to be his girlfriend on our first date. I dont just want a booty call for him. I want us having sex to mean something. He wants sex without attachment.
You lost me. Which one is it???
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