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Old 02-16-2017, 01:01 PM
 
14 posts, read 6,961 times
Reputation: 17

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The guy I'm dating tends to talk about girls he's dated or his 'gal' friends. I don't know why he does this because I NEVER once brought up my exes or differentiate my girl/guy friends.

Examples:
"Oh, I don't mind. I've dated taller girls than you."
"I don't have problems getting dates, it's whether we have chemistry or not."
"You're usually not the type of girl I date." - we met at a bar and were just talking about our first impressions.
He's going on vacation with his friends this weekend. I asked how many of them and he said: "about 10 of us.. not sure if any of my girlfriends are going, though." I don't get this? Why does he have to differentiate his guy/girl friends?
"I have more girlfriends than guy friends. They're just less stressful to hang out with"
"My best girlfriend, blah blah blah.."
"One of my girlfriends told me this joke, blah blah"
There's more. I just can't remember all of them......

Also, on our 6th date, he said, "I would really appreciate if you OFFERED to pay for small things even though I would not have you pay. Then I would take you on better dates. I don't want to feel like a provider."

Mind you, yes, I haven't paid for **** or offered but c'mon, we've only been out 6 times and I'm still trying to figure out this guy. I totally get why he said this. Maybe he's setting his standards. I'll start paying, no problem BUT what he said after pissed me off.

"For example, I once dated this girl who was a student, and she offered to pay even though she was on a low budget." I was like ok.

Is this a form of open communication and him telling me how he feels? I have never had my date tell me to offer to pay and I rarely pay on first few dates lol..

I kind of sense he's a jealous type or maybe he's insecure? He comes off as a VERY confident guy, though.
BTW, I'm 23 and he's 31.
Is this behavior normal?
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Old 02-16-2017, 01:02 PM
 
35,103 posts, read 45,909,050 times
Reputation: 62350
Apparantly normal for him and he is the only one who can answer your question so ask him.
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Old 02-16-2017, 01:21 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,671 posts, read 9,916,046 times
Reputation: 12471
Quote:
Originally Posted by BusyBeeee View Post
The guy I'm dating tends to talk about girls he's dated or his 'gal' friends. I don't know why he does this because I NEVER once brought up my exes or differentiate my girl/guy friends.

Examples:
"Oh, I don't mind. I've dated taller girls than you."
"I don't have problems getting dates, it's whether we have chemistry or not."
"You're usually not the type of girl I date." - we met at a bar and were just talking about our first impressions.
He's going on vacation with his friends this weekend. I asked how many of them and he said: "about 10 of us.. not sure if any of my girlfriends are going, though." I don't get this? Why does he have to differentiate his guy/girl friends?
"I have more girlfriends than guy friends. They're just less stressful to hang out with"
"My best girlfriend, blah blah blah.."
"One of my girlfriends told me this joke, blah blah"
There's more. I just can't remember all of them......

Also, on our 6th date, he said, "I would really appreciate if you OFFERED to pay for small things even though I would not have you pay. Then I would take you on better dates. I don't want to feel like a provider."

Mind you, yes, I haven't paid for **** or offered but c'mon, we've only been out 6 times and I'm still trying to figure out this guy. I totally get why he said this. Maybe he's setting his standards. I'll start paying, no problem BUT what he said after pissed me off.

"For example, I once dated this girl who was a student, and she offered to pay even though she was on a low budget." I was like ok.

Is this a form of open communication and him telling me how he feels? I have never had my date tell me to offer to pay and I rarely pay on first few dates lol..

I kind of sense he's a jealous type or maybe he's insecure? He comes off as a VERY confident guy, though.
BTW, I'm 23 and he's 31.
Is this behavior normal?
The first part he's sounds a prince , it just sounds in some stupid way he's trying to enforce what a great and popular bloke he is for whatever reason and sounds like he's talking down to you a bit so no he's NOT a particularly confident bloke as confident blokes don't have to try and convince you that they're this and that

And yes by the 6th date!!! You should be a bit more affluent or and least offer something but he should have left it at that when he raised his concerns and said his piece so agreed the last bit was a tad strong

Well it's not " normal " behaviour for me or most blokes i know

Personally I'd pay him a bus fair home ..... Alone and not see him again.
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Old 02-16-2017, 01:21 PM
 
Location: in your dreams
16,294 posts, read 16,156,255 times
Reputation: 21405
I wouldn't continue dating this guy.. He openly stated you are not his type and will just continue to make you feel "less than" any and every other girl.

Sounds like he's just building himself up in order to manipulate you, for whatever reason...( sex, adoration, control, money etc... )
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Old 02-16-2017, 01:22 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
1,658 posts, read 1,441,907 times
Reputation: 6134
The way you describe him, I'm surprised he gets second dates.
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Old 02-16-2017, 01:23 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
90,446 posts, read 86,522,929 times
Reputation: 97138
I think 6 dates is more than "the first few". I suppose we could create a thread about it, which inevitably would run to 30 pages, about how many is more than "the first few", and when a woman should start offering to pay, but.....let's not.

The behavior isn't entirely normal, and it seems that he's sending you a message that he can get another girl to date anytime. In which case, I think you should let him do exactly that. He sounds like he already has one foot out the door, anyway. Not a great loss to you. Consider checking out guys a little closer to your age, maybe.
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Old 02-16-2017, 01:28 PM
 
16,719 posts, read 17,092,229 times
Reputation: 41351
Quote:
Originally Posted by BusyBeeee View Post

Also, on our 6th date, he said, "I would really appreciate if you OFFERED to pay for small things even though I would not have you pay. Then I would take you on better dates. I don't want to feel like a provider."
...
I kind of sense he's a jealous type or maybe he's insecure? He comes off as a VERY confident guy, though.
BTW, I'm 23 and he's 31.
So here's a 31yo adult being honest about his budget, and the 23yo girl gets pissed.

As a woman, I always assume I am going to pay for my own outing. To not do so seems gold-diggerish.

As far as the rest, I get the feeling he means he's never dated someone so much younger than he.
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Old 02-16-2017, 01:30 PM
 
2,097 posts, read 1,610,523 times
Reputation: 3625
Honestly- he sounds like a tool to me. Like he's trying to talk himself with all the lady friends. Plus to tell you you're not his type........ nice.
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Old 02-16-2017, 02:00 PM
 
14 posts, read 6,961 times
Reputation: 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by D217 View Post
I wouldn't continue dating this guy.. He openly stated you are not his type and will just continue to make you feel "less than" any and every other girl.

Sounds like he's just building himself up in order to manipulate you, for whatever reason...( sex, adoration, control, money etc... )
You're right. Hmm.. this thread really made me realize he's not the one for me. I honestly have no idea what his intentions are and that's a bad feeling. Thanks
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Old 02-16-2017, 02:16 PM
 
1,026 posts, read 1,347,954 times
Reputation: 857
Quote:
Originally Posted by dbsteel View Post
Honestly- he sounds like a tool to me.
agree. to mention other girls is just slimy and rude, and not surprising that he's still single. no girl wants to hear about other girls, especially not repeatedly, whether they're exes or current.

next time he mentions "this other girl" or something, get up and say, well why don't you call one of them! then leave.
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