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I have been on a birth control pill. I have no clue what happent and how I got pregnant. We never planned on making babies.
birth control of any kind is not 100% effective, thus even though tiny, the possibility of getting pregnant is always there. sorry you had to go through a miscarriage though, they can be tough to handle.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
I am sorry you experienced a miscarriage. That is a lot of trauma in a short time.
You were not in love, I'm sorry to say. Please remember that if it seems too good to be true it probably is.
Infatuation comes on strong and usually flames out just as quickly. This is a chance for you to start over and refine your standards.
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina
Yeah. Take a permanent break. This relationship just didn't work out.
i agree with the others, this relationship is over, never go back.
6 months ago I (25 y.o.) started dating a guy. (29 y.o.) We fell in love pretty fast. He was telling everyone he wants to marry me, was showing me engagement rings asking what style do I like, so that when he proposes he will know what type of ring to pick. Everything was perfect for 5.5 months.
Last week we went out with my friends and I had too much of drinks. Once all my friends left he started saying what he doesn't like in me and etc, and I told hime "Hey, why are you telling me this right now? I am drunk! I don't want to talk about it!". He got mad about it and kept complaining while I was crying in the car. At one point he got frustrated and mad, he dropped me in the middle of the street in front of my house while I was in hysteria crying and drew away. Called me after and said "Your actions could have got me in trouble cos I was drinking and driving! Neighbours could have called 911! You are selfish and irresponsible". I would like to mention that I hardly ever drink (once in 3 months), yet he gets drunk every weekend. Anyways, he never really apologized, called me a drama queen. Two days after this issue I told him I need a break and I need my stuff I left at his house. All he said was "ok". I picked my stuff while he was at work, left all his together with the gifts he gave me (The only reason I did that was cos for two days after the fight he treated me like crap and acted as if he doesnt know me).
The night I asked him to take a break, I woke up in the middle of the night with the worst cramps ever and blood as well, and ran to ER. Apparently I miscarried our baby (and I even did not know I was pregnant). I texted him in the morning saying "I did leave your stuff and just wanted to let you know that I miscarried our baby and I did not know I was pregnant either, I thought it would be fair for you to know." All he said was "Why did not you tell me about this?" I explained the situation and he was pretty much ignoring me. I was so lost, confused, still in physical pain and in shock, that I was desperate and had to call him in tears, and all he said was "What do you want me to do? You were the one who dropped all my stuff and wanted a break. I am sorry it happent!".
My miscarriage wasnt going well and I had to go to ER again with pretty much no pulse, I was begging him to come , yet he didnt.
He came to see me in three days and when I asked him why didnt you visit me earlier, he said "The way you were talking to me seemed like you want to do nothing with me". And during the discussion I said " I have never been a priority for you." He said "How can I choose you over my family and friends, when we have been together for couple of months?! Were all your exes leaving work for you only cos you asked them to???" I literally could not believe he said that, cos the only reason I asked him to leave cos I was in ER and it was an emergency.
Anyways, we decided to take a break and then go from there. I just do not know whether it is over or no for him? I am super hurt, super upset, and I can not believe he could change in just two weeks. What did I do wrong? and what I should do...?
Honeymoon phase. Don't start judging till after the first 6 months when the real person comes out. Engagement rings? Moving in? Miscarriages? Everything way too fast.
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I texted him yesterday " Hey, I took my break and thought about us and I realized we are two different people. I think the best solution is to break up. I don't know if you actually thought about it and I do not know what your decision is, but I think it is for the best. Thanks for everything."
He read. Was online for another 5 hours. Never responded back.
6 months ago I (25 y.o.) started dating a guy. (29 y.o.) We fell in love pretty fast. He was telling everyone he wants to marry me, was showing me engagement rings asking what style do I like, so that when he proposes he will know what type of ring to pick. Everything was perfect for 5.5 months.
OP, I'm sorry for this miscarriage; even though you didn't even know you were pregnant, it's still a loss.
Reading the above, my instant reaction is, "too much too soon". The "too much, too soon" rule says that when a guy comes on heavy with the in-love talk and the marriage talk after just a month or two of dating, he's up to something. There's a hidden agenda of some sort. In your case, it seem to be that he was playing you. As you saw, he's not a nice person underneath the "perfect" lovey-dovey façade.
And he drinks to excess every weekend? Why wouldn't you want it to be over with him? Declare a train wreck, and move on. Give yourself time to evaluate guys before you rush into falling in love. You didn't even know this guy.
And yes, you were that blind. Live and learn.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 04-23-2017 at 10:05 AM..
Honeymoon phase. Don't start judging till after the first 6 months when the real person comes out. Engagement rings? Moving in? Miscarriages? Everything way too fast.
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Yeah, the engagement ring thing was way over the top. He knew what women like to hear. Don't fall for this kind of thing again, OP. Next time someone tries something like that with you, say "This is moving way too fast for me. I don't think we're right for each other", and end the dating. A month or two of dating isn't really a relationship yet, it's just dating, so it's not even a breakup. It's just dating that didn't work out, didn't go anywhere. If someone tries to pressure you, and says, "You're BREAKING UP with me?! " , just say, no, because we're not even together yet, we're just dating. It didn't work out." Don't let people push you around, or apply pressure tactics.
This is a good reason why relationships should take time to develop. A guy who can't wait even maybe a half-dozen dates before the sex happens is a player. I bet if the OP had waited to get to know this jerk better, he would've given up on her after the first month. Then she wouldn't have had a miscarriage to deal with.
Yeah, the engagement ring thing was way over the top. He knew what women like to hear. Don't fall for this kind of thing again, OP. Next time someone tries something like that with you, say "This is moving way too fast for me. I don't think we're right for each other", and end the dating. A month or two of dating isn't really a relationship yet, it's just dating, so it's not even a breakup. It's just dating that didn't work out, didn't go anywhere. If someone tries to pressure you, and says, "You're BREAKING UP with me?! " , just say, no, because we're not even together yet, we're just dating. It didn't work out." Don't let people push you around, or apply pressure tactics.
This is a good reason why relationships should take time to develop. A guy who can't wait even maybe a half-dozen dates before the sex happens is a player. I bet if the OP had waited to get to know this jerk better, he would've given up on her after the first month. Then she wouldn't have had a miscarriage to deal with.
i believe you are right ruth. too many people these days, male AND female, think that is sex doesnt happen on the third date, then the relationship is going nowhere and they want to end it and move onto the next person. we all have to learn that if we want a real long lasting relationship we have to take our time getting to know the person, and let things flow naturally. it might take only three dates before sex happens, it might take six months to a year.
I'm very sorry for your loss, OP. (((hugs))) I definitely think it's best to part ways. Permanently.
+1
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" , just say, no, because we're not even together yet, we're just dating. It didn't work out." Don't let people push you around, or apply pressure tactics.
