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So said one of my Twitter buddies when I remarked on the speed with which she launched herself back into the dating game after a particularly nasty breakup.
Now, forgive me if I appear thicker than a whale omelette here, but I can't fathom why a solitary existence is seen as a failing. I've chosen it because I can't imagine being in the world any other way. The adjustments required by any sort of romantic coupling would knock planet Scribbles out of its orbit and send its lone inhabitant spiralling into a black hole of confusion and bewilderment for all eternity.
I don't mean to suggest life for one is entirely without difficulties. I'm only human (or almost) and I get lonely at times, but never to the point where I'd consider becoming part of a couple. That's too drastic and permanent a solution to a temporary problem, and I stand to lose more from its failure (mentally, emotionally and financially) than I'd gain from its success.
I realise I'm in the minority on this, and I hope a few of you can help me understand why some people's happiness and sense of identity or being an adult depends so much on finding someone else to settle down, grow old and wander off into the sunset with. For me it's about as palatable as Metallica cutting their hair and trying to keep up with the alternative scene during the 90s. I'd feel like a sellout if I even contemplated it, and I most certainly would NOT respect myself in the morning.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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With all the damn commercials on TV pushing family, love, and kids on you 24/7, how are you not going to feel inadequate if you can't get a significant other? Most of the time, family is no help either. I'm sick of being asked by everyone when am I going to get a girlfriend and wondering if I'm gay just because I can't talk to my smartphone and have a girlfriend right away. Hello, someone has to agree to date me first. It is not so much being alone that is crappy, it is everyone pushing love on you and something is wrong if you don't have it in your life that's crappy.
Your friend is selfish and is only looking out for herself.
Now....with that being said, that sort of mentality is polar opposite of what qualities make a successful relationship.
Apparently she doesn't know herself like you do.
Oh, somebody like your friend will find you and latch on like the little fish latch to the big shark. There is something the little fish get from the shark but little help the fish give to the shark.
Academic curiosity, my friend. I'm seeking to understand others' mindsets so I can feel a little less puzzled by the holes some people dig themselves into as they search for lurve. Is it real or is it an ideal we tell ourselves we all want with only the vaguest notion of what it might be or involve?
More relationships and marriages fail than succeed, yet still we strive and struggle with the same doe-eyed faithfulness Linus reserves for The Great Pumpkin. What keeps us going? Why do we not learn from our own or others' mistakes?
When I was growing up, my family gave me all the affection and acceptance I could have wanted. I never felt the need to look elsewhere for those things and I still don't now they're all dead and gone. The idea of letting someone else into my world to the extent a long term relationship would require is completely alien to me, yet people take that chance every day and risk greater hurts than I could bear as they do so. I honestly don't know if they're brave or foolish.
Academic curiosity, my friend. I'm seeking to understand others' mindsets so I can feel a little less puzzled by the holes some people dig themselves into as they search for lurve. Is it real or is it an ideal we tell ourselves we all want with only the vaguest notion of what it might be or involve?
More relationships and marriages fail than succeed, yet still we strive and struggle with the same doe-eyed faithfulness Linus reserves for The Great Pumpkin. What keeps us going? Why do we not learn from our own or others' mistakes?
When I was growing up, my family gave me all the affection and acceptance I could have wanted. I never felt the need to look elsewhere for those things and I still don't now they're all dead and gone. The idea of letting someone else into my world to the extent a long term relationship would require is completely alien to me, yet people take that chance every day and risk greater hurts than I could bear as they do so. I honestly don't know if they're brave or foolish.
There's the truth right there....Fear.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 04-27-2017 at 08:15 AM..
Reason: Fixed glitch in quote.
So said one of my Twitter buddies when I remarked on the speed with which she launched herself back into the dating game after a particularly nasty breakup.
Now, forgive me if I appear thicker than a whale omelette here, but I can't fathom why a solitary existence is seen as a failing. I've chosen it because I can't imagine being in the world any other way. The adjustments required by any sort of romantic coupling would knock planet Scribbles out of its orbit and send its lone inhabitant spiralling into a black hole of confusion and bewilderment for all eternity.
I don't mean to suggest life for one is entirely without difficulties. I'm only human (or almost) and I get lonely at times, but never to the point where I'd consider becoming part of a couple. That's too drastic and permanent a solution to a temporary problem, and I stand to lose more from its failure (mentally, emotionally and financially) than I'd gain from its success.
I realise I'm in the minority on this, and I hope a few of you can help me understand why some people's happiness and sense of identity or being an adult depends so much on finding someone else to settle down, grow old and wander off into the sunset with. For me it's about as palatable as Metallica cutting their hair and trying to keep up with the alternative scene during the 90s. I'd feel like a sellout if I even contemplated it, and I most certainly would NOT respect myself in the morning.
Most people want a partner and companion in life. Not too hard to figure out.
The problem with your friend isn't that she wants this. It's that she makes bad choices. Show me a particularly nasty breakup and I'll show you a situation where one or both partners weren't committed to the relationships health in big ways and small.
Now, forgive me if I appear thicker than a whale omelette here, but I can't fathom why a solitary existence is seen as a failing. I've chosen it because I can't imagine being in the world any other way.
Can you fathom that not everyone is the same? That some people see being alone as a personal failing because they do not want to be alone? And that some people feel the opposite - they are happy, and in fact, prefer being alone?
And note that I said "personal" failing. It's unlikely that they see you as being a failure because of your preference. If having a companion to navigate life with is something they desire, and they can't find that companion, it seen as a failing to themselves.
Of course. Life would be boring if everyone were, but so many people make the same mistakes (or similar) over and over again as they look for the same thing. Then they talk to me on the phone about it for *hours* 'because you can be objective.' If by objective they mean clueless, then yes I suppose I am.
I wish someone would explain to me why they want what they say they want and are prepared to be let down, lied to and disappointed in their search. The only answers I've found so far are along the lines of 'just because', which doesn't help me understand at all.
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sick of being asked by everyone when am I going to get a girlfriend and wondering if I'm gay just because I can't talk to my smartphone and have a girlfriend right away. Hello, someone has to agree to date me first. 
It is not so much being alone that is crappy, it is everyone pushing love on you and something is wrong if you don't have it in your life that's crappy.
