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So i met this guy back in January. We both kicked it off, went on a couple of dates.. and he told me he was looking for a friend with benefits or casual dating. I have never done this before, i was open to it. Now things have escalated. We hangout three times a week, we on long drives around the city. We text throughout the day. We confide in each other, and jokingly talk about what it would like to be married to each other. He brings me food sometimes to my house if he i ask because he is a good cook. He asked me one time to hold my hand in public. We go to restaurants.I have tried to set boundaries... he said the only boundary is that he doesn't want me getting involved with any of his friends and he gets jealous. One time he showed me his entire photo album and talked to me about his family. I was wondering is this a typical friend with benefits arrangement? Could he be catching feelings?
Last edited by Lovergirl92; 04-25-2017 at 03:08 AM..
That ain't no friend with benefits that I recall doing.
That's just about dating....... FWB is raw, course, vulgar and frankly nothing like you mentioned, at least in my world. I haven't been single for a long time but that's the way I remember it being. If I was just boning some chick I wouldn't be bring food over to her house and spending a lot of time outside of boot knocking.
You need to figure out what it is and talk to him about it.
That ain't no friend with benefits that I recall doing.
That's just about dating....... FWB is raw, course, vulgar and frankly nothing like you mentioned, at least in my world. I haven't been single for a long time but that's the way I remember it being. If I was just boning some chick I wouldn't be bring food over to her house and spending a lot of time outside of boot knocking.
You need to figure out what it is and talk to him about it.
I agree, that's not typical fwb decorum. I guess, me and chow-dawg are old skewl.
I ain't spending time catering food, looking through family albums, and being jealous of other guys (that's bf stuff). I'd only come over to hit, and I'm outta there. Because the longer we spend time, someone will eventually develop feelings.
Cant let that happen too quick, because it will inevitably happen. I want to ride it out as long as I can.
I agree, that's not typical fwb decorum. I guess, me and chow-dawg are old skewl.
I ain't spending time catering food and looking through family albums (that's bf stuff). I'd only come over to hit, and I'm outta there, because the longer I we spend time, someone will develop feelings.
Cant let that happen too quick, because eventually, it will happen.
Yep. I've only had one instance where neither one of us started to Feel anthing and it was rare. It's human nature to a degree to start to develop feelings for another person, especially doing really intimate things like sex. I get that it can be done without feelinbgs but the more you do it , the higher the chances of someone starting to feel something is pretty great.
I think FWB is 90 percent myth, does it happen, of course, but more often than not someone starts to develop feelings and ends up getting hurt on some level... It doesn't have to be huge, but it's still there nonetheless.
Last edited by Chowhound; 04-25-2017 at 03:42 AM..
Yep. I've only had one instance where neither one of us started to Feel anthing and it was rare. It's human nature to a degree to start to develop feelings for another person, especially doing really intimate things like sex. I get that it can be done without feelinbgs but the more you do it , the higher the chances of someone starting to feel something is pretty great.
I think FWB is 80 percent myth, does it happen, of course, but more often than not someone starts to develop feelings and ends up getting hurt on some level... It doesn't have to be huge, but it's still there nonetheless.
Yup, nothing bonds two people more than sex, imo. So, it takes a certain mindset to separate the emotional aspect of a fwb/fb relationship. I was really good at separating the two for a long time, until the table finally turned on me
I wish sometimes, I can totally turn off my emotions, but I cant, it what makes me human.
Yup, nothing bonds two people more than sex, imo. So, it takes a certain mindset to separate the emotional aspect of a fwb/fb relationship. I was really good at separating the two for a long time, until the table finally turned on me
I wish sometimes, I can totally turn off my emotions, but I cant, it what makes me human.
Yep... I wished I could turn mine off. I only was able to do the FWB with one woman. The rest of the women I either liked them or they like me. It was hard to be cool and distant. Even the ones I didn't "love" I still felt a bond with them and didn't want them to be hurt or whatever.
I'm not a machine and most decent people aren't machines so it makes the whole thing rough. LOL.
I don't want to derail this thread and plenty of women/men can come in and encourage the OP, but frankly the OP is doing things that are way way past just FWBS and are well into dating/relationships stuff.
I hope for her that they end up being together. That would be a nice little sweet package if they ended up being together, heck they could make it for the long run.
I feel more of a hope for that then just simply discussing whether or not they are FWB's......
Yep... I wished I could turn mine off. I only was able to do the FWB with one woman. The rest of the women I either liked them or they like me. It was hard to be cool and distant. Even the ones I didn't "love" I still felt a bond with them and didn't want them to be hurt or whatever.
I'm not a machine and most decent people aren't machines so it makes the whole thing rough. LOL.
I don't want to derail this thread and plenty of women/men can come in and encourage the OP, but frankly the OP is doing things that are way way past just FWBS and are well into dating/relationships stuff.
I hope for her that they end up being together. That would be a nice little sweet package if they ended up being together, heck they could make it for the long run.
I feel more of a hope for that then just simply discussing whether or not they are FWB's......
She really does have to talk to him, so they both know where they stand. If one of them develops feelings, and the other doesn't, the fwb is basically DONE!
Would you do these things and share these things with a friend? Yes. A FWB in the true sense of the phrase IS a friend - the benefits are extra, and optional. The only thing OFF the table is developing romantic feelings and wanting a romantic relationship. The more raw, sex-oriented only scenario is merely a **** buddy - you use each other to get off, but you aren't friends, just acquaintances.
Would you do these things and share these things with a friend? Yes. A FWB in the true sense of the phrase IS a friend - the benefits are extra, and optional. The only thing OFF the table is developing romantic feelings and wanting a romantic relationship. The more raw, sex-oriented only scenario is merely a **** buddy - you use each other to get off, but you aren't friends, just acquaintances.
I don't spend that much time with a friend the way the OP describes things. That is a dating relationship, IMO.
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