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What are your thoughts and experiences on this oh so polarizing first date idea?
(I'm a guy btw) Some hate it, some like it. Back when I dated more (5 years ago), I didn't like it because I always wanted to meet for drinks, meet at night, dress up a little (hoping that the woman would dress up as well). This might have been some insecurity on my part, thinking that I would need the alcohol to make things interesting, lower inhibitions a little.
But now that I'm back in the dating world, I love the idea of just going for coffee or tea on a first date (whether it's in the day or at night). It's great to not rely on alcohol to fuel conversation, it's the real you and the real her coming out. If things go well, we can get drunk next time. I think it shows a certain confidence, in that I don't need to impress you (the woman) with food/cocktails right off the bat.
And that leads to maybe the most important part of it, it's inexpensive! But do women see through this and think the guy is cheap? I'm sure some do and some don't.
I'm female and always suggested it.
I love coffee, and like the atmosphere. I liked it for a first date. If we hit it off, plenty of time for bars, less casual evenings out. Coffee dayes are cheap, easy, low pressure, work any time of day, and venues are abundant.
My first date with my husband was a weeknight date at a cafe. He was game, even though he doesn't drink caffeine in the evening, typically.
The coffee date seems to have come about as men, who still do most of the asking, make an attempt to get a girl to go out with them in the most casual way possible, so she doesn't feel TOO committed, as opposed to the old-school way of taking her out for a full on night on the town with dinner, a movie etc.
Because as we now know there are men who believe that if they "invest" in a full night out with a woman, they should get some "payoff" at the end of the evening. Likewise, they could employ it to ward off any women who apparently use guys for free dinners without ever intending to date/sleep with them, which I have heard about on the internet but fortunately don't know in person.
The coffee date has evolved as a way for all parties to ease into things without too much investment on the front end, emotional OR financial.
The ONLY reason I wouldn't prefer "coffee" over "drinks" is because coffee breath is terrible for kissin'. But then again I am one of those weirdos who doesn't mind beer breath.
I say we all just head to Vegas the first night, get married, and sort it out behind us.
Why would you assume the topic is limited to OLD first meets?
Because the OP used the OLD based term "coffee date"...
and an implied misunderstanding of the term in this modern usage.
I thought I made this frame of reference rather clear.
BTW... that basic misunderstanding shouldn't happen in a 'relationship' forum.
I guess, when I started the thread, I was thinking about a first date resulting from an Online Dating site (meaning you have not yet met the person in real life). For me, right now, this is the only way I'm meeting women.
I guess, when I started the thread, I was thinking about a first date resulting from an Online Dating site (meaning you have not yet met the person in real life). For me, right now, this is the only way I'm meeting women.
Great responses so far.
There's also the ice cream shop option. I met a date at a local bookstore and we agreed to choose a book for the other to read. We had previously talked about doing this. It was a really cool date. We had dessert at a nearby eatery after.
The ONLY reason I wouldn't prefer "coffee" over "drinks" is because coffee breath is terrible for kissin'. But then again I am one of those weirdos who doesn't mind beer breath.
True, but the beauty of the coffee date is that I would not even get my hopes up to kiss a girl at then end of it.
Nope. It's just a conversational "term of art" used among the Starbucks generation.
This first face to face meeting could just as easily be made at a hamburger joint.
I guess, when I started the thread, I was thinking about a first date resulting from an Online Dating site (meaning you have not yet met the person in real life). For me, right now, this is the only way I'm meeting women.
Great responses so far.
Thank you for clearing that up mate
Mate regardless of what anyone thinks or says about just going out for coffee or any other setting ( in a negative way ) the main thing is you're putting yourself out there and dating so happy days
The ONLY reason I wouldn't prefer "coffee" over "drinks" is because coffee breath is terrible for kissin'. But then again I am one of those weirdos who doesn't mind beer breath..
Quote:
Originally Posted by subPrimeTime
True, but the beauty of the coffee date is that I would not even get my hopes up to kiss a girl at then end of it.
Tea beats coffee everyday plus you won't have that problem mate..... I always knew we had dating sussed this side of the pond
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But then again I am one of those weirdos who doesn't mind beer breath.
