Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yes, I know quite a bit about the topic at hand & many similar topics. The bottom line is that if the other partner is interested , go for it, explore, experiment & have fun! Mutually consensual fun, of course. If the other person is not into it or is "vanilla", chances are good that no amount of experimenting is going to turn them into what my friends & I call vanilla with sprinkles. That does not mean you cannot continue a great relationship with the vanilla person & they can enjoy those pleasures elsewhere, if that meets with the approval of both parties. If you're both interested, treat it as a fun, play time, role play to start with, make sure you negotiate everything & communicate in great detail, before, during AND AFTER! I'm trying to keep this PG13.
Whether or not it strengthens or harms your relationship will depend on the history & the people involved. The acts themselves are unlikely to do either of those. Conversely, forcing someone to (too strong of a word) to participate when they really have no interest is not likely to bode well for the relationship.
Are you both interested in experimenting or is it pretty one sided? Is the person most interested just curious? Or is this a secret about themselves they've been keeping all their lives? In other words, are they "wired" this way? All of those things are a factor. Feel free to PM me if you'd like to ask more specific questions.
London_Cowboy, 50 Shades of Gray, written by a Brit , is a fictional novel (& I use the term loosely, it's actually VERY poorly written) about dominance & submission, sensual spanking & light bondage. In other words, light BDSM. It is considered pretty much a joke amongst real practitioners, as the female submissive character comes off as a victim, rather than a willing, consensual participant & the male Dominant is a joke of a character, he's a billionaire with a B LOL & the most handsome guy on earth, etc. It's like a romance novel with some kink thrown in. Nothing realistic as to how real consensual kink is done or real romance is done, but the series became hugely popular as a fictional, fantasy story.
ETA: I am not a big fan of leaving things up on browsers or that type of thing to start a convo. I think a more direct approach is adult. Though it can be a book or a movie to open up the convo...one of you could say hey, my friend recommended this '50 shades' movie & the idea sort of turns me on, would you like to go see the movie together? Or read a book together. The part I can't be ok with is springing it on an unsuspecting partner to find on their own. I've seen it done a number of times, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But if you're hoping to explore kinks with your partner, than you should at least be able to have a direct conversation about it. You can keep it light to start with, but don't leave a page up on a browser for your partner to find b/c I guarantee you there mind will go to the worst possible, most extreme possible activities, which may not be AT ALL, what you're thinking of.
In other words, light BDSM. It is considered pretty much a joke amongst real practitioners, as the female submissive character comes off as a victim, rather than a willing, consensual participant & the male Dominant is a joke of a character, he's a billionaire with a B LOL & the most handsome guy on earth, etc. It's like a romance novel with some kink thrown in. Nothing realistic as to how real consensual kink is done or real romance is done, but the series became hugely popular as a fictional, fantasy story.
I am sorry but I find it hard to believe that the 2 bolded is defined as such? Wow. Not judging but those people in that 'kink' definitely has a way different brain wave than me. But hey it's your life.
Yes, I know quite a bit about the topic at hand & many similar topics. The bottom line is that if the other partner is interested , go for it, explore, experiment & have fun! Mutually consensual fun, of course. If the other person is not into it or is "vanilla", chances are good that no amount of experimenting is going to turn them into what my friends & I call vanilla with sprinkles. That does not mean you cannot continue a great relationship with the vanilla person & they can enjoy those pleasures elsewhere, if that meets with the approval of both parties. If you're both interested, treat it as a fun, play time, role play to start with, make sure you negotiate everything & communicate in great detail, before, during AND AFTER! I'm trying to keep this PG13.
Whether or not it strengthens or harms your relationship will depend on the history & the people involved. The acts themselves are unlikely to do either of those. Conversely, forcing someone to (too strong of a word) to participate when they really have no interest is not likely to bode well for the relationship.
Are you both interested in experimenting or is it pretty one sided? Is the person most interested just curious? Or is this a secret about themselves they've been keeping all their lives? In other words, are they "wired" this way? All of those things are a factor. Feel free to PM me if you'd like to ask more specific questions.
Cowboy, 50 Shades of Gray, written by a Brit , is a fictional novel (& I use the term loosely, it's actually VERY poorly written) about dominance & submission, sensual spanking & light bondage. In other words, light BDSM. It is considered pretty much a joke amongst real practitioners, as the female submissive character comes off as a victim, rather than a willing, consensual participant & the male Dominant is a joke of a character, he's a billionaire with a B LOL & the most handsome guy on earth, etc. It's like a romance novel with some kink thrown in. Nothing realistic as to how real consensual kink is done or real romance is done, but the series became hugely popular as a fictional, fantasy story.
Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know my love that very kind of you
I completely understand now and can see the relevance
I am sorry but I find it hard to believe that the 2 bolded is defined as such? Wow. Not judging but those people in that 'kink' definitely has a way different brain wave than me. But hey it's your life.
What is pleasure, and what is pain, is formed early on in one's development. Love, or lack of love, can have a lot of influence too. Sometimes, one goes with all they have got to go on.
I am sorry but I find it hard to believe that the 2 bolded is defined as such? Wow. Not judging but those people in that 'kink' definitely has a way different brain wave than me. But hey it's your life.
I'm not exactly clear what you're saying, but yes, many with this kink feel they are "wired" this way or born this way. Many wonderful, productive members of society have fetishes or kinks. Oh & some jerks have fetishes too, it's no different than anyone else you'll meet. It's just 1 part of their lives, it doesn't define who they are as a human being, it's just a part of who they are. Some feel it's a part of their very being (born this way) & others just enjoy a little slap & tickle experimenting for fun. As long as it's consensual, who cares. But yeah, both partners have to be on the same page
As far as the romance part of it, all I meant is that the book is written like a romance novel, where the male character is so ridiculously wealthy, handsome, intelligent, perfect in every way, that he just doesn't resemble any real life human being. Most romance novels are that way LOL.
Ps- I should have added in my original thread my wife has been getting into the 50shades of Gray series
Well, just because she enjoys reading about it (and as others have said it's a poor example of BDSM and writing in general) doesn't necessarily means she wants to do it. If you don't want to, then don't.
There are lots of websites on how to do it right - that is, without just falling into it but talking about it and setting up some agreements/limits ahead of time. But again, don't make any assumptions. I dare say it's difficult for two people who don't know anything about it to teach each other, but it may be something you dabble in once or twice and are done with.
Sorry,once it was brought to my attention...I left.
Glad they cared enough to allow the choice to leave.
How interesting that a person though would think it enhances their relationship.. food for thought . On another day..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
