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Hello everyone. I am new to the forum, but I've been reading it for a while so I know I'll get some good advice.....
So I've dating this guy since the end of February and I don't have too many complaints per say, I just can't figure him out. Not sure if it's just me being over-analytical as h*ll (typical) or if there's actually shadiness to him. I'm prepared for BRUTAL honesty if it's me.
Now about me: 1) I am a bit of a control freak and 2) have a tendency to attract/get into relationships with overly clingy men.
He's a very laid-back dude and we always have a good time. He's really nice, and makes me laugh, never been married or has children (there is a bit of an age gap) and he seems to like me. But at times, he can be a bit distant when we're together. There have been a couple of offset comments to me and he's never texted/reached out to me first. Also physically, I feel our sex drives are in very different places.
A lot of this I feel is my fault and that I'm just being dramatic and psychotic over nothing. Never been in a "good" relationship, so maybe this is just how normal guys act? At the same time, I don't want this to turn into a "I am more into you than you are into me" situation and because of that I have been holding back a lot. I don't know. I'm okay if you all just think I'm nuts.
Hello everyone. I am new to the forum, but I've been reading it for a while so I know I'll get some good advice.....
So I've dating this guy since the end of February and I don't have too many complaints per say, I just can't figure him out. Not sure if it's just me being over-analytical as h*ll (typical) or if there's actually shadiness to him. I'm prepared for BRUTAL honesty if it's me.
Now about me: 1) I am a bit of a control freak and 2) have a tendency to attract/get into relationships with overly clingy men.
He's a very laid-back dude and we always have a good time. He's really nice, and makes me laugh, never been married or has children (there is a bit of an age gap) and he seems to like me. But at times, he can be a bit distant when we're together. There have been a couple of offset comments to me and he's never texted/reached out to me first. Also physically, I feel our sex drives are in very different places.
A lot of this I feel is my fault and that I'm just being dramatic and psychotic over nothing. Never been in a "good" relationship, so maybe this is just how normal guys act? At the same time, I don't want this to turn into a "I am more into you than you are into me" situation and because of that I have been holding back a lot. I don't know. I'm okay if you all just think I'm nuts.
Welcome to the forum
Have you asked him why he's not as forthcoming with the texting/reaching at all?
Yes I can understand why you might have the tendency to overthink things or even not be sure on " what's normal " after your bad experiences but unfortunately that can have the tendency to damage things as well
Apart from the obvious " He's just not that into you " the only thing I can think of with the contact situation is if he's used to YOU making all the moves and initiates things then he will be accustomed to it and probably take it for granted and possibly doesn't even realise that he's not as forthcoming as you'd like because you've not mentioned it to him.
He's a very laid-back dude and we always have a good time.
He's really nice, and makes me laugh,
and he seems to like me.
he can be a bit distant when we're together.
...and he's never texted/reached out to me first.
physically, I feel our sex drives are in very different places.
never been married or has children (there is a bit of an age gap)
99.78% of the time its about sex... right?
So what does "sex drives in different places" and "age gap" mean?
My guess is that he has a casual hook-up SWNS FWB thing in mind...
and is generally completely opposite from the clingy sort you're used to.
Can you hang or do you NEED more?
If you do need more... it's up to you to tell him.
Have you asked him why he's not as forthcoming with the texting/reaching at all?
Yes I can understand why you might have the tendency to overthink things or even not be sure on " what's normal " after your bad experiences but unfortunately that can have the tendency to damage things as well
Apart from the obvious " He's just not that into you " the only thing I can think of with the contact situation is if he's used to YOU making all the moves and initiates things then he will be accustomed to it and probably take it for granted and possibly doesn't even realise that he's not as forthcoming as you'd like because you've not mentioned it to him.
See that's the thing! I haven't brought anything up to him. I don't know, maybe a part of me is afraid his response? But that could be a reason.
99.78% of the time its about sex... right?
So what does "sex drives in different places" and "age gap" mean?
Well I believe mine is much higher than his. There have been times where we haven't messed around or gone all the way before (which was frustrating for me lol). He's 29 and I'm 22.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrRational
My guess is that he has a casual hook-up SWNS FWB thing in mind...
and is generally completely opposite from the clingy sort you're used to. Can you hang or do you NEED more?
If you do need more... it's up to you to tell him.
Do I need more? I don't know, I'm not in love with the guy or anything. I just would like to know how he feels is all and I don't want to be/feel used. God, I need to get my life together
Well I believe mine is much higher than his.
There have been times where we haven't messed around or gone all the way
Do I need more?
Yeah... you do need more and you're entitled to have it.
Sex and romance both.
It probably won't be with him though.
A willing and eager 22yo girl should be getting it 3 times a day; 5 on weekends.
Quote:
God, I need to get my life together
No you don't. You're only 22.
All you need to do is be careful and focus on your job skills/education.
Quote:
He's 29 and I'm 22.
I'm not in love with the guy or anything.
At 29 he SHOULD be emotionally and financially able to settle down.
Whether he's ready to or not is immaterial ...he should be ABLE to.
If he isn't (and NOT that you should want to yet)... then plan around knowing of that relative immaturity.
All in all... I'd say find another and younger guy.
Enjoy the summer.
Yeah... you do need more and you're entitled to have it.
A willing and eager 22yo girl should be getting it 3 times a day; 5 on weekends.
LOL! I love the way you think Mr. Rational
I feel as though I should have one conversation where I lay out things with him because I haven't actually stated any of my grievances with him. Part of my problem is I am always way to docile in the beginning it's stupid and always gets me into trouble, but at least it's still early with him. I see him on Wednesday so we'll converse then.
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it's stupid and always gets me into trouble, but at least it's still early with him. I see him on Wednesday so we'll converse then.
