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I grew up with this kind of behavior. It's maddening.
If someone uses passive aggression with you, ignore it.
If you're obviously in the wrong, apologize for that and make amends, but if they just want to punish you for it with the silent treatment, don't play along.
Stop apologizing profusely. Don't walk on eggshells. Just go on with your day and let them act like an adult and TELL YOU what is wrong rather than pout about it.
I personally would not be in a relationship with someone who continually does this. It's immature.
I can tell you why I used it in my 23 year marriage that is no more. It generally started with him jumping down my throat b/c he didn't like the way I did something and we'd argue for a bit but he had a much louder voice and would drown me out in the argument. Every time I tried to say something he would hop in and interrupt me and start yelling so I would stop and shut up rather than have to hear myself screech and it would go like that for about 3 days before he would realize that I could outlast him and he'd come crawling back to apologize and complain about having to do so, though in fact he had usually started it by, for example: 1. complaining that I spent too much time painting the living room one day, which had to be done b/c we had the city breathing down our necks to get it done--he was tired of watching our daughter that day, or 2. sewing a dress for our daughter, who needed it for a skit that she was doing on his behalf and I was already stressed to the max. Men can talk much louder than women and often do in a disagreement so it's easier for us to shut up and freeze you out than to argue. No not all of you do that but it's been so in my limited experience.
People who are in abusive relationships or who are past victims of abuse are sometimes passive-aggressive, if being direct in the past has resulted in abuse.
Passive aggressiveness is just another form of guilt trip, the more you buy in to them the worse they will get.
The second you stop buying in to it is the second that person loses all power in their exchanges with you. They will be forced to level with the issues at face value.
Passive aggressiveness is just another form of guilt trip, the more you buy in to them the worse they will get.
The second you stop buying in to it is the second that person loses all power in their exchanges with you. They will be forced to level with the issues at face value.
The one person I had any involvement with who did this would actually get very angry when I ignored it, and would demand that I pay attention to them and ask them what was wrong, what they were pouting about. I would calmly explain that it's up to them to tell me, if they were unhappy about something. They would argue back that a caring person would naturally ask someone what's wrong, if it were obvious they were unhappy. I prefer good communication skills, not someone who pouts and sulks, labeling that "non-verbal communication". It's like they were trying to hold a gun to my head, to force me to buy into the passive-aggressive ploy.
The one person I had any involvement with who did this would actually get very angry when I ignored it, and would demand that I pay attention to them and ask them what was wrong, what they were pouting about. I would calmly explain that it's up to them to tell me, if they were unhappy about something. They would argue back that a caring person would naturally ask someone what's wrong, if it were obvious they were unhappy. I prefer good communication skills, not someone who pouts and sulks, labeling that "non-verbal communication". It's like they were trying to hold a gun to my head, to force me to buy into the passive-aggressive ploy.
Some will when they realize they won't be getting what they want.
They will attmept to throw you back in to it by causing an equally overblown reaction to goat you back in to involvement and double down on the pressure by appealing to what presses your buttons emotionally.
Once emotion has taken over, It's back off to the races lol
I've been their myself.
My wife has a tendency to fall in to this primarily because of her upbringing and the house she was raised in it's her natural responce to want to guilt people (although usually playfully these days) when she realizes the likelihood of her getting what she needs or wants from her loved ones has a possibility of being denied.
She will sometimes need to be reminded that people either want to work together or fight for their own cause and where those lines begin and end before she triggers herself to snap out of acting this way.
If someone has grown their whole life getting what they want by acting in this way it's unlikely they will stop or even be able to stop on their own. It's their natural reaction and it has to be "unlearned" before they can begin to start correcting themselves.
In my wife's case it's not very bad anymore, she will very occasionally have episodes of this behavior if her emotions grow strong enough towards something, but she has become aware enough to stop and collect herself before the "doubling down" ever hits.
Some people never question their actions to get to a spot like this.
Those are the people you just have to walk away from and never question if you did the right thing.
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It's like they were trying to hold a gun to my head, to force me to buy into the passive-aggressive ploy.
