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I honestly don't get this opinion at all. Shared activities and common interests are extremely important imo. It's one of the main things I look for. It would hypothetically be one of those relationships where you agree on the laundry schedule, the finances, and the splitting of house chores, but you never actually do anything together and are like just housemates or something.
I'm the last person that will disagree that people nit pick too much (especially women sorry, oh noes he's 5'10'' instead of 6 foot and not a software engineer :-/ wth is that? ) but I think in this case a little bit of nit picking is warranted for everyone.
Also speaking of things that can change financial situation can also change so you better hope you actually enjoy spending time together when the crap hits the fan.
I honestly don't get this opinion at all. Shared activities and common interests are extremely important imo. I
They are. It just isn't important that ALL interests be in lockstep.
I wouldn't be married to my husband if we had nothing in common, no shared interests. Most people would agree. But, not having music as our greatest area of common ground happens to have pretty minimal impact, for us. It just isn't something that happens to carry a lot of weight.
The fact that he likes mid-century modern furnishings and I don't is actually far more of a sticking point. Mileage varies.
Just asking this question because this came to mind as I was listening to my favorite music earlier today. One of the things that me and my boyfriend have in common is that we're both into the same type of music; and it's one of the many things that attracted me to him initially.
TBH, if my boyfriend only listened to country music, opera or any other type of music I wasn't into, I highly doubt that I would've been attracted enough to him to pursue anything further with him. Just being honest here, because I'm into pop, indie, r&b, K-Pop and some death metal...and if someone that I'm dating (or was considering dating) wasn't into at least *ONE* of the genres of music that I like and they were into something that I would never want to listen to, I probably wouldn't want to date them again.
If you're dating someone (or if you're on a meet & greet with them) and find out through your conversations with that person that their taste in music is NOT anywhere near what you like, would you not seek a second date with them OR would it not bother you what their taste in music is if you click with everything else about them?
Keep in mind that if you were to date and eventually enter into a relationship with a person who liked certain types of music that you were NOT into AT ALL, you'd be exposed to their favorite music on a regular basis and would have to tolerate it along with building a relationship with them.
Could you do it? Would you do it? If not, why?
Totally not important to me. That is what headphones are for. Also it gives me something I can enjoy on my own. It is much harder to get concert tickets for 2 people then just one !
In fact, I think that being musically inclined/interested, his near-exclusive preference of science fiction/fantasy and nonfiction reading (I'm much more eclectic), and diverging taste in furnishing style are our only notable areas of absent common ground.
Food tastes, other entertainment choices, political stances, values in regard to finances, spirituality, childrearing, spending habits, saving habits, choice in where to live, etc. are all compatible, if not identical.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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They have to like music, not be one of those "I listen to everything" (which is never really true) types, and have some passion about some segment of the arts, if it isn't music. But it doesn't have to be what I listen to at all.
For my husband and I, it's fairly important I think. We both like several genres of music together, and we both like music a LOT, so it's something we have in common. Plus, it's fun when he or I find a particular song or an artist, and we share it with the other. It's not the only thing we have in common, but music is an important one.
And honestly, I'm not sure I could be with someone who listened to country western exclusively. It's not a genre I particularly like, and it would drive me batty if it was the only thing we listened to. And it'd probably be something we'd argue about.
(I'm not saying ANYTHING negative about country music fans...the music is just not my thing.)
I would never expect my partner to like the same music as me or the reverse.
Tastes change within people so often that nailing down someone to being a creation of their tastes really is not a great way to perceive someone
If shared music tastes where a stipulation I would have been divorced several times over from my wife when she started going through her Korean boy band and Katy perry phases respectively
Tolerance is a good trait to practice over snobbery and dismissal.
Instead of focusing on what you hate about the music they like focus in on why they like it.
It doesn't always have to be "about you"
fwiw: while I still personally loath Korean pop as a whole, i grew to appreciate small aspects of from being introspective towards my wife's love for it.
Last edited by rego00123; 05-04-2017 at 12:33 PM..
Yes, I agree with you that there's "other important things" that can be considered as a criteria with regard to wanting to continue to date someone - and, I do realize this and have always taken those things into consideration. However, as someone who music is a VERY important and integral part of my life, this is just one of those things that happens to be important to me with regard to being in a relationship with a guy - it's NOT a deal breaker per se - but it IS something that I do (and will consider) to be one of many things that I would evaluate as to whether I would want to continue to pursue a relationship or not.
I think as long as there ARE areas of interests that both people can share, music doesn't HAVE to be one of them. But that said, in a relationship, it's important to be accommodating to the other person's interests from time to time...it just shows "I love you and appreciate you." So maybe you buy your man oh...I don't know...Beastie Boy tickets when Beastie Boy is no where on YOUR play list, and never will be. LOL
I agree, it doesn't have to be a deal breaker...but it's sure nice when you're simpatico when it comes to music.
Just asking this question because this came to mind as I was listening to my favorite music earlier today. One of the things that me and my boyfriend have in common is that we're both into the same type of music; and it's one of the many things that attracted me to him initially.
TBH, if my boyfriend only listened to country music, opera or any other type of music I wasn't into, I highly doubt that I would've been attracted enough to him to pursue anything further with him. Just being honest here, because I'm into pop, indie, r&b, K-Pop and some death metal...and if someone that I'm dating (or was considering dating) wasn't into at least *ONE* of the genres of music that I like and they were into something that I would never want to listen to, I probably wouldn't want to date them again.
If you're dating someone (or if you're on a meet & greet with them) and find out through your conversations with that person that their taste in music is NOT anywhere near what you like, would you not seek a second date with them OR would it not bother you what their taste in music is if you click with everything else about them?
Keep in mind that if you were to date and eventually enter into a relationship with a person who liked certain types of music that you were NOT into AT ALL, you'd be exposed to their favorite music on a regular basis and would have to tolerate it along with building a relationship with them.
Could you do it? Would you do it? If not, why?
No because I am not going to fight with someone over music every time we get into the car. I only listen to pop and country. Half the stuff you listed is nothing but headache inducing crap. I do not date people that listen to crap.
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