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So I had only one serious relationship and the break up hurt a lot. It was debilitating, I felt sick, and I couldn't function or focus. I was going through school at the time and I couldn't think straight. I never experienced these emotions before and it was kind of overwhelming. Ever since then I built up a barrier and its hard for me to like a girl. Even if I do like a girl its like one foot in and another foot out type of deal. Where I am not really invested and if things don't turn right I give up on the relationship fast.
Recently, there was this one girl that I was interested in and we were talking for quite some time. Which is rare because I am pretty selective and difficult to love. She recently posted a picture with her and a new boyfriend. When I saw it, it felt like someone took a sledge hammer and swung it at my chest. It brought back memories of the pain. Made me realize how painful break ups in relationships can be. Probably one of the reasons why I don't date much anymore. Does this feeling go away? Do people just learn how to handle break ups in relationships better? I feel like I am more cynical than what I used to be. Before I was vibrant and optimistic, now I am more cynical, mature, and cold hearted.
Last edited by goingbald42; 05-03-2017 at 10:27 PM..
If it's someone you were in a relationship with, they have become part of your life, so just being without them actually hurts.
Then, beyond the feelings, you have to get over the part of having them around that had become a habit.
At any rate, it sounds like you may have been investing too much of your self too early. I honestly don't have any helpful advice on that because I always did that too.
But I know that to get over a breakup, you have to be very proactive and keep busy. The other thing to consider is this: Hanging onto sadness about a breakup is disrespectful to yourself. We don't have THAT long to live on this earth, so you might as well make the best of it instead of wallowing in the worst.
So I had only one serious relationship and the break up hurt a lot. It was debilitating, I felt sick, and I couldn't function or focus. I was going through school at the time and I couldn't think straight. I never experienced these emotions before and it was kind of overwhelming. Ever since then I built up a barrier and its hard for me to like a girl. Even if I do like a girl its like one foot in and another foot out type of deal. Where I am not really invested and if things don't turn right I give up on the relationship fast.
Recently, there was this one girl that I was interested in and we were talking for quite some time. Which is rare because I am pretty selective and difficult to love. She recently posted a picture with her and a new boyfriend. When I saw it, it felt like someone took a sledge hammer and swung it at my chest. It brought back memories of the pain. Made me realize how painful break ups in relationships can be. Probably one of the reasons why I don't date much anymore. Does this feeling go away? Do people just learn how to handle break ups in relationships better? I feel like I am more cynical than what I used to be. Before I was vibrant and optimistic, now I am more cynical, mature, and cold hearted.
Yes it goes away.
We've all been there, or if not yet will be at some point. In time, you won't care what they're doing. Simply delete as FB friends, and move on.
Focus on yourself and enjoy life. Don't let these or any other circumstance define who you are.
All those pics on Facebook aren't real btw. They're fake. Superficial. A projection of a false reality of what people want to project themselves as.
I am sorry you're hanging onto the hurt. I know how that feels and I am going thru it myself right now. It is really hard sometimes.
What helps me is simply trusting that whatever is happening is meant to happen. I fully believe that. Accepting it helps. And just the fact that there ARE many, many loving relationships in existence is enough proof that not everyone will hurt you.
Also, work on yourself. You said you are difficult to love. That reveals a bit about your sense of self worth. Without strengthening that first, you will likely repeat past relationship mistakes. Fill your own cup first..the rest will fall into place with time.
Good luck OP..it's ok to grieve and feel whatever it is you're feeling. But it doesn't have to hold you down. You don't have to hang on to those thoughts and feelings.
That exquisite pain has it's place in the human experience.
Maybe I'm strange, but there's a dark part of me that likes being in that cocoon of post break up pain, listening to 'the downward spiral', no relief in sight.
Just be happy with the things you have now and try to be yourself. Make new friends and spend more time in your hobbies and interests.. Its really hard sometimes to move on but you know what is your current situation and how your are actually. So just remember that and look towards life in a new way and try to find happiness and joy in every thing you do or have with you.
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