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Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 8 days ago)
35,630 posts, read 17,968,125 times
Reputation: 50655
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsRick24
First of all, would you invite someone you just met to your house?? Common sense should tell you that you meet him at a public location! Also, leading that person on and then avoiding them, giving bull**** excuses and getting caught in your game isn't considered a play?
If such is the case, you have to wonder how many guys has she done this to?
It wasn't wise to invite him to her home, I'll completely agree with that.
I'm not sure I'd call that "leading that person on". You don't know if you'll like someone until you spend a little time with them, and at that point she wasn't as interested. After she had put her own self out - hadn't required anything of him except a little of his time - and then she realized she didn't want to further the relationship. That's how it works. And also how it works is coming up with a "lame" excuse so the other person can save face. "I'm really just too busy for a relationship right now", or "I didn't get back to you because I was sick and I'm still sick".
I'm a little confused about your intense attitude about this. Just because she invited him to lunch doesn't mean she's now obligated for a long term relationship until he chooses not to pursue it anymore.
Would you rather she told him when he was leaving the lunch that this would be it, she doesn't want a further relationship with him? THAT would be foolish - illuminating why in fact it was unwise to invite him to her home when she didn't know him well. She really had no choice except to be polite and cordial until he was gone, and then later make it clear she wasn't interested in further contact.
Very few adults have the balls to just tell someone they aren't feeling it.
So ... yeah, it wasn't cool that she blew him off after their date.
But "played" him? IDK it just sounds like she handled the letdown badly, but I don't think she "played" him.
To play someone you usually have to come on very strong, with lots of intense charm, flirting and heavy compliments. You make them feel like they matter to you.
Then once you get what you want, you move on ... you stop all the stuff that got you there in the first place. You ignore them, or you only contact them when you're drunk etc.
She didn't really do any of that. And then to accuse him of breaking in? Dra-ma!!!!
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 8 days ago)
35,630 posts, read 17,968,125 times
Reputation: 50655
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
It's most likely a coincidence.
The police are pros. I would follow their lead.
Yes, it's most likely a coincidence.
In rereading the original post, I don't see how she could have handled this more graciously. She was unwise to invite him to her home, but she in fact did host him and so it's not like he was out one single thing.
Then, he called her the next day and she made excuses and said she was too busy with this, and also had that going on. He says call me. She doesn't. That's it. That's all she needs to do to make it clear she's uninterested. It would actually be rude to elaborate more on that. Then he sees her out and confronts her (???) and she makes a lame excuse that she's sick and still is too sick to go out with him.
The problem here, is he's unwilling to take social cues. Just because she invited him to lunch, doesn't obligate her to a relationship with him - and he's pretended not to "get" that she's not interested.
Those kind of guys are dangerous, IMHO, and would lead me to suspect he might have taken revenge.
I got the story from two of my friends. Apparently they met up a couple of weekends ago. I was out of town, but according to my contacts, this woman was all over him - smiling, touchy-feely, intense stuff. Again, I was not there, but people who witnessed it told me.
I don't know what really went down, but according to my sources, he called her, she invited him. They talked over lunch, it's claimed that there was chemistry, but no physical stuff.
People are cold, and we all know this. I think I'd rather someone tell me "Thanks but no thanks." But social cues notwithstanding, you don't invite a stranger to your house! Ever! Say what you want, but it's just asking for problems.
How is it "playing" someone to invite them to your house for lunch, and then apparently after that lunch to be too polite to say "I don't like you as I actually thought I would" and ease out of the relationship with excuses?
I'm missing something. Trying to get to know someone better by inviting them to lunch and then making excuses later to avoid them because it turns out you don't like them is just how social behavior works. IMHO.
Don't you know? Once a woman has done ANYTHING that could POSSIBLY be interpreted as mere interest in a man she is forever committed to him? That is, until he decides at ANY point in the future that she doesn't meet his needs. Then he's free to dump her and go "no contact" without a word of notice or explanation. Those are the rules!
The moral of this story, Ladies, is dont be a d**k tease and your house wont be broken into. Lol
No proof, then its mere coincidence, OP.
I suggest, she gets ADT home security.
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Dra-ma!!!! 
